Flattery

Last updated on: July 8, 2020 at 3:16 am by Henry Karlson

Flattery 2020-07-08T03:16:19-05:00 Henry Karlson

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Master of François de Rohan : Fleur de vertu, le vice de la flatterie / Wikimedia Commons

“Woe to you, when all men speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets” (Lk. 6:26 RSV). Not everyone who has a good reputation is unworthy of that reputation. The saints often were recognized for their saintliness while they lived. Their reputation matched their actions. What set many of the saints apart from others who also had a good reputation, but did not deserve it, is that the saints were not so concerned with what others thought of them. They did not let flattery change them. They understood how people use flattery as a way to get what they want out of others, and so those who look for and seek honor and respect from others are able to be manipulated by that desire.

What is important for us to recognize and learn is how not to become distracted by what others say about us. We should especially take no concern of what people say to flattery us. For, as soon as we give in to such flattery, we begin to let vainglory and pride consume us.

“A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin” (Prov. 26:28 RSV). Obviously, those who flatter us want something from us. If we do not give them what they want, they will be quick to turn on us, as St. Mark the Ascetic understood “If someone praises you hypocritically, be sure that in due course he will vilify you.”[1] If we are focused on our reputation, if we are concerned about what people say of us, we will be afraid of what will happen if we do not act according to the wishes of those who praise us to others. We will become slaves to flattery. We must not let this happen. We must remember that such flattery is false, and whatever benefits it gives us is fleeting. Those who flatter us will eventually go away, but what we make of ourselves will not.

“A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet. An evil man is ensnared in his transgression, but a righteous man sings and rejoices” (Prov. 29:5-6 RSV). When we receive such flattery, we find ourselves being tried: will we give in to temptation, and turn ourselves over to vainglory, or will we fight against it, ignore all the flattery, and truly distance ourselves even further from all such nonsense?

Those who seek what is good and true see through such flattery. They do not care what others think of them. They would be willing to be despised by all, if that was the consequence of doing what was right and true. Of course, they also know that just because they are despised, just because people fight against them, that also does not mean they are in the right. Thus, they will not let themselves be trapped by the other side of flattery, and being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian, thinking that is how one escapes the tyranny of flattery. For they are still concerned with the opinions of others, letting it dictate to them what they should do, but now, instead of following it, they try to do the opposite of it.

Those who have yet to cast aside their ego, those who reify themselves and like to prop themselves up so as to be admired by others, will find themselves caught by temptation and will allow flattery get the best of them. So long as they embrace the self, especially through vainglory and pride, whatever good they do (and they will do some good, as there is no such thing as pure evil) will be overshadowed by their ego. Indeed, they enjoy, not only the flattery, but the fleeting pleasure, the fleeting rights, they think they deserve for becoming so well-loved by others.

Paul, therefore, tells us that we should seek to please God in what we do:

For our appeal does not spring from error or uncleanness, nor is it made with guile; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please men, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never used either words of flattery, as you know, or a cloak for greed, as God is witness; nor did we seek glory from men, whether from you or from others, though we might have made demands as apostles of Christ (1 Thes. 2:3-6 RSV).

Now, we must be careful. We can think that if we ignore what others have to say of us, that means we are doing good. We might be. We might not be. But it is likely, without proper direction, we will end up becoming prideful, thinking that by ignoring the fleeting opinions of others, we are pleasing to God. Such pride is not pleasing to God, and it is likely, if we are being directed by such pride, whatever good we accomplish is corrupted by that pride and not as good as we assume. What we must not do is confuse our own desires, our own inordinate passions, and confuse them as being what God wants for us. Just because we have avoided the fleeting opinions of others does not mean we have avoided our own fleeting opinions. If we think we do what is good and true, that our ideas are in accord with what God wants, without proper examination of them, we risk thinking of ourselves as being oracles for God. And once we do that, we will lowly allow the accolades of others once again affect us. We will like being thought of as people who speak for God. The reality is that all we will be doing is speaking for ourselves. We will have created an idolatrous notion of God, one which worships us instead of us, God. Thus, instead of promoting God and what is good, instead of speaking for God, we end up becoming false prophets.

We must not assume we speak for God. We must not let people think we speak for God. We must always act in humility, never letting flattery, or the opinion of others, affect us. We should do good, whether or not others believe it is good. We must do good, not for our sake, that is, not for what we think we get out of it, but for the sake of the good itself. Then if we are praised, we can shrug it off, and if we are not praised, we likewise can shrug it off, so that we do not find ourselves directed by any vain consideration but instead, only by that which is good and true.

[1] St. Mark the Ascetic, “On the Spiritual Law” in The Philokalia: The Complete Text. Volume One. Trans. G.E.H. Palmer, Philip Sherrard, Kallistos Ware et. al. (London: Faber and Faber, 1983), 121 [155].

Stay in touch! Like A Little Bit of Nothing on Facebook.
If you liked what you read, please consider sharing it with your friends and family!

Previous Post

July 7, 2020

Ways To Experience The Presence Of Jesus

Next Post

July 9, 2020 That’s Marxist

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Abraham abuse Aesthetics AI Aliens Ambrose Ancestors and Everything Andrew Angels Animals Anne Anthony Antisemitism apologetics Apophatic Apostle John Aquinas Artificial Intelligence Asanga Ascension Asceticism Assumption Atheism Attachment Augustine Authority Avarice Balthasar Baptism Beauty Biden birthright citizenship Bishops Black History Books Buddhism Bulgakov Byzantine Calendar C.S. Lewis Calcidius Catholic Catholicism Catholicism Celibacy Charity Chastity children Chrismation Christ Christmas Christology Church Climate Change Common Good Communion Confession Confirmation Conscience Constantine conventions conversion councils Covid Creation Cross Dead Death Death Penalty Debate Deception Demagogues Demons Desert Monks Desert Mothers Desire destruction development Dialogue Dignity Dionsyius Dionysius Discipline Diversity Division Doctor Who doctrine dogma Dormition Dualism Easter Easter Series Ecumenical Councils Ecumenism Education Election Empathy Environment Error Eschatology eschaton Eternity Ethics Eucharist Evangelism Eve Evil evolution Faeries Faith Fear femininity Ficino Florence Florensky Folktale Fools Forgiveness Freedom Future gender Gentile Gentiles Glory Gnostic God gods Good Samaritan Goodness Gospel Government Grace Great Fast Guns Hate healing Health Heaven Hell Hellenism Heresy Hierarchy Hildegard Hinduism History Holiness Holy Spirit Holy Week Hope Horror Human rights humanity Humility hypocrisy ICE icon icons Identification Identity Idol II Nicea Immigration incarnation Individualism Informal Reflections Inklings Intention Inter-Religious Interfaith Internet Interpretation Intrinsic evil Irenaeus Islam Israel Jacob Jerome Jesus Jews John Chrysostom John of Damascus John the Baptist Joseph Judaism justice Justification kenosis Kindnesss Kingdom of God Kingdom of Heaven Law Law of Moses Lazarus Leaf by Niggle Lent Lenten Reflection Liberation Theology Lies Life Listen Literature Liturgy locutions Logic Logos Love Marriage Martyrs Mary Mass Maximos The Confessor Meanness Meditation Mercy Middle Path Migrants Mind Miracles Miriam Morals Moses Movies Music Muslims Myths Names Nationalism Native Americans New Year Nicea Nicholas Nothing Novatian Obedience Occam's Razor Ordination Origen Original Sin Orthodox orthopraxis Pagans Palamas Palm Sunday Paradise Paschaltide Paul Peace Pentecost person Peter piety PKD Plato pluralism Plurality Poem Poetry Poiltics Politics Poor Pope Pope Francis Pope Leo XIV Post Office Prayer Pride Pro-life Prodigal Son propaganda Prophecy Prophets Providence Putin Racism Reading Reason Reflection Refugees Relationships Religion Religion Series Religious Liberty Repent Republicans Rest Resurrection Rich Rites Russia Sacraments Saints Salvation Salvian Santa Science Scripture Self-Giving Sexuality Sibyl Sick Silence Sin Singlehood Social Justice Society Sodom Solovyov Speculations Spiritual Reflection St. Cyril of Alexandria St. Justin Martyr Suffering Sunday of the Paralytic Man Sunday of the Samaritan Woman Superhero Supreme Court Teaching Technology Thanksgiving The Father the Universe Theological Reflection Theology Theosis Theotokos Thomas Timaeus Time Tolerenace Tolkien Tradition Transfiguration Trinity Trump Truth Uncategorized Unity Universities USCCB Value Vatican II Vegetarian Vices Violence Virtue Vocations War Water Welcome Wisdom Womanhood Women Work World View Worship Writing Zacchaeus

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz