Letting Go

Last updated on: January 23, 2012 at 5:00 am by Admin GrowMama

Letting Go 2012-01-23T05:00:43-04:00 Admin GrowMama

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

So the other day I was shopping at Michael’s to work on a project for my 9 month old when I came across a table that had gingerbread house kits on sale for 2.99! Great deal I thought! My daughter will love this. I brought it home and immediately Ameera was ecstatic and wanted to build it. The first night she and her father worked on actually constructing the frame of the house, which they worked on diligently. The second day she and I decorated it with icing and candy.

However, as I sat down with her, my natural perfectionist instinct was to try to make the house look like the picture perfect models displayed on the box. My first mistake was to ask her which house on the box she wanted to replicate. Instead I should have just let her use her imagination to create a home of her choice.We then began to ice the roof, she took one side and I the other, and of course I was so concerned with making my side of the roof look smooth and clean and to cover all the brown parts of the gingerbread with icing, while Ameera’s side had globs of icing on various spots, obviously less than perfect vision. I attempted to try to “fix” her side, (my second mistake) and ended up in a power struggle with my poor 4 year old trying to make the house look the way I thought it should look. What is wrong with me? I kept asking myself over and over desperately trying to just let her be and have fun and enjoy herself, which she was thankfully. But during the candy trimming I continued in my effort to strategically place the pieces of candy where I thought they looked best, as did Ameera, and occasionally I would replace one of her candies or move one of her gumdrop bushes only to be reprimanded and scolded for doing so. “MAMA! Why are you moving that! I did that!” She would yell desperately trying to clue me in to the fact that this was meant to be HER project, not mine. Why was it soooo hard for me to let go?

What was even more troubling to me is that I know it’s not the first time that I have tried (in a sense) to take over and do things my way. And if I intend to be a successful homeschooler, then this is definitely something I will have to work on. I’m not going to have a picture perfect house. Things will break, get messy, and I will have to be okay with that. Things will not always go according to plan and I will have to be okay with that. Things will not always go my way or turn out the way I expect and I will have to be okay with that. I will not always be in control…and I will have to be okay with that Because, if I amm not I will most certainly take the joy away from just letting my kids be kids, and then what will I have accomplished?

I realized one very important lesson in parenting and teaching. I was invading my child’s world. This was meant to be “her” creation and therefore this was her territory and I imposed my imaginatively limited adult mind on her limitless one. Overall the experience was enjoyable for both of us. But next time I need to learn to just let go! Had I left her to to design and decorate the house as she saw fit It probably would have looked totally different. I now can only wonder and imagine what her vision of it would have looked like, instead I see only pieces of her and unfortunately most of my own.

Christina Elahmar

Christina is a mother of two who divides her time between being an English teacher, writing consultant, and soon to be homeschooler. She blogs at Reflections of a Muslim American Educator and recently started the Muslim Mom Network Homeschoolers Google Group.

Motherhood Reflections

Self-development

Christina Elahmar

freedom of expression for kids

homeschooling

Previous Post

January 19, 2012

Intentional Eating: Indulgence Sans Guilt

Next Post

January 25, 2012 GrowMama Roundup: Asked By a Child

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book and Movie Reviews Community Connecting with Allah Counselor's Corner Environment fatherhood five stars GrowBaba Spotlight GrowMama Picks Growmama Roundup Health Light Fare marriage Motherhood Reflections moving Parenthood Photography Poems Schooling Self-development tragedy Tutorials Uncategorized

Select a Month December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 November 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which people attacked Israel at Rephidim and were defeated as Moses held up his hands?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Philistines Amalekites Midianites Moabites