Have Mercy on Your Husband

Last updated on: February 4, 2015 at 5:00 am by Admin

Have Mercy on Your Husband 2015-02-04T01:44:00-04:00 Admin

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Credit: The Economist

Before I began this blog entry, I asked my husband for ideas. “Write about having mercy on your husband,” he suggested. Thinking he was only joking, I laughed and shrugged it off. “Really,” he insisted. Realizing that he was actually serious, I thought there might be something there.

Sitting down to write, I wondered why he felt compelled to push this topic. I began reflecting on the past two and a half years of our marriage, particularly the last sixteen months we’ve spent as parents. As many other couples can attest, having a baby not only drastically changed our lifestyle but also changed the way we related to one another as a couple. No longer carefree, we now had a serious responsibility on our hands. Once a high-powered young professional and community activist, I now stayed at home and focused on my son—one of the most extreme transitions I’ve ever undergone. It was even more extreme than getting married. As my husband left for work morning after morning, I felt increasingly disconnected from the world around me and very often took my frustration out on him. Ironically, I eagerly anticipated his return from work every evening only to annoy him by complaining about something trivial.

Wrapped up in the novelty of motherhood, I had drifted away from the wife I hoped to be at the start of our marriage. I used to dream about being a wife like Our Mother Khadijah (rA), the first love of the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh). When the Prophet (pbuh) was upset, confused, or afraid, he ran to her. She comforted him by knowing exactly when to say something to restore his confidence and when to simply be quiet and listen. When the revelation initially came to the Prophet (pbuh) in the cave of Hira’a, he said to her, “I think I’ve lost my mind.” She immediately knew what would bring peace to his heart when she said these great words, “Indeed Allah will never leave you because you keep your family ties, you are truthful in speech, you carry the burdens of the week, you are generous to your guests, and you help anyone that is on the path of truth.” In other situations—such as the time the Prophet (pbuh) saw the angel Gibreel (rA) in a very large form and ran to Khadijah (rA) saying “cover me, cover me!”—she did what he asked and stayed quiet. She knew that was what he needed at that time.

He had supported her for years in her business and now it was her turn to support him. Working with her, he had brought back more returns than she had ever seen. And now, years later, this team would turn their focus to a new task: the call to Islam. When the Prophet (pbuh) said to her, “you are the first one I am calling to this message,” she assuredly responded, “And I’m the first to accept.” Soon, when the angel Gibreel (rA) taught the Prophet (pbuh) how to pray, the first person in the world that he taught was Khadijah (rA). In fact, the scholars say that this husband and wife were the first two people to pray in congregation (jama’a). From this loving couple, the seeds of Islam grew. From her first acceptance of Islam and their first jama’a prayer, Islam reached people across the world from Canada to China to India to Egypt. From them, Islam reached you and me. It is as if Allah (swt) is showing us the great potential of a husband and wife when they have singularity of purpose: Allah.

After these reflections, I found the daily grind has begun to wear off. I realized that it had been a while since we renewed our intentions for our marriage and our sense of purpose as a couple. When Allah’s pleasure is top of mind, the trivial nuisances mean much less. When we take time out of work to do things together for Allah’s sake—even if it’s just making sure we pray at least one prayer in jama’a every day—I believe our marriage will insha’a Allah stay full of love and mercy.

Bushra Tobah

Bushra is from Toronto, Canada. She has a Master’s degree in business and has now put her Phd in Organizational Behaviour on hold to stay at home with her toddler, Ibrahim. She loves to write because, unlike toddlers, writing makes sense.

Motherhood Reflections

Parenthood

Bushra Tobah

husband wife relationship

Khadijah and Muhammad

marriage

Previous Post

January 15, 2015

Peace in Prayer

Next Post

February 13, 2015 No Words.

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book and Movie Reviews Community Connecting with Allah Counselor's Corner Environment fatherhood five stars GrowBaba Spotlight GrowMama Picks Growmama Roundup Health Light Fare marriage Motherhood Reflections moving Parenthood Photography Poems Schooling Self-development tragedy Tutorials Uncategorized

Select a Month December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 November 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What was the name for a standard silver coin in Biblical times?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Talent Mina Shekel Denarius