Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Grow Mama Grow

Home
About
Contact
All Posts
- Islamophobia and The Prophets: What We Can Learn
- Is Islamophobia a Reality at School? How to Talk to Your Kids About It
  - There’s a Used Condom on My Door Handle: Hate Crimes and the Burden of Proof

Home
Muslim
Graduating from the Kiddie Table

Graduating from the Kiddie Table

Last updated on: December 19, 2010 at 3:41 pm by Admin GrowMama

Graduating from the Kiddie Table 2010-12-19T15:41:04-04:00 Admin GrowMama

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My husband and I traveled to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving weekend. We were prepared with diapers, our laundry, and the ingredients for the cornbread stuffing. We were also ready to sit with our siblings. Thanksgiving day would bring both sets of in-laws, mine as well as my older brother’s, and it promised to be an eventful day. For the “kids” (ages range from 16-27), it would include stuffing our faces with all the delicious food that we wished would magically appear in our own kitchens as well as watching some reruns of the Office and the boys playing Halo.

We arrived early and I quickly surveyed the kitchen asking mom what she needed help with. Mom went through her own mental list, “Lasagna is done, so is the leg of lamb. I already put the turkey in the oven. I made some kibbeh, but it’ll have to wait. You need to start peeling the potatoes.”

As I got to work, mom and I began to reminisce about past Thanksgivings. After all, it marked the anniversary of my engagement and we had a lot to be thankful for.

“So mom, what’s the seating arrangement going to look like?” I asked between peels.

“Same as usual; adults will sit in the dining room, kids in the basement.”

Even though I was now a mother, I had yet to graduate from the kiddie table, which was mostly fine by me. However, there was that creeping little feeling that irked me from time to time. After I became a mother, I started to wonder how long it would take for my daughter to see me as a human being with varied interests and passions, likes and dislikes. Would I forever be titled caregiver, dinner maker, dishwasher? I needed to know my in-laws on a deeper level. I needed to know my brother’s in-laws on a deeper level as well.

And so, the conspiring began. While we did go to the basement for our lovely dinner and laughed together as Dwight attempted to burn down the office, my husband and I quickly made our way upstairs for dessert.

Six adults sat there enjoying their Lipton tea with fresh mint from our backyard.

“Okay, all of you have to pick a number from 1-10,” my husband said.

My father in law went first. “Six,” he said in a slightly worried tone.

“Who do you want to be like and you can’t say the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).” (We got a couple of chuckles and exaggerated protests here).

“I would like to be like my father. He has always been a gentle and caring man. I hope to have his type of character.”

Wow. My father in law is one of the gentlest people I know. To discover that his father has been his role model sent waves of gratitude through my body. I knew that this chain of admiration would continue as my husband always notes how much he loves and admires his dad.

“Okay, I pick three.”

My mother in law seemed slightly frightened about what we may ask but took the game in stride.

“What is your favorite book and you can’t say the Qur’an.”

“Oh, I don’t know…”

“My favorite book is Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” replied my brother’s mother in law.

“What does that even mean? We all live on EARTH,” her husband retorted.

“That’s exactly what it means! You men don’t understand how us women communicate!”

After a few laughs my husband asked his mom to answer the question. She couldn’t think of any particular book but did tell us that when she was our age she had committed many Arabic poems to memory.

And so the night went on with lots of laughter, some tough questions, and even deeper insights.

I found out how much courage it really took for my brother’s in-laws to leave Egypt. I discovered that our parents learned so much from their failures as well as their successes, but more-so from their failures. That human connection had been made and whether or not it marked the graduation from the kiddie table, I do not know. However, I do know that I am looking forward to next year’s list of questions and peeling away the many interesting layers that our moms and dads have to offer us.

What have you learned from your parents or in-laws that truly inspires you?

Marwa Aly

Marwa Aly is a mother, wife, and sister who serves as the Muslim Chaplain at Trinity College and Wesleyan University

Motherhood Reflections

Previous Post

December 16, 2010

One Step Forward, Ten Steps Back

Next Post

December 24, 2010 Separation Anxiety 3.0

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book and Movie Reviews Community Connecting with Allah Counselor's Corner Environment fatherhood five stars GrowBaba Spotlight GrowMama Picks Growmama Roundup Health Light Fare marriage Motherhood Reflections moving Parenthood Photography Poems Schooling Self-development tragedy Tutorials Uncategorized

Select a Month December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 November 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

True or False: Hebrews teaches that Jesus is the mediator of a new covenant.

Select your answer to see how you score.

TRUE FALSE