Rules of Engagement

Hey people! Chances are, none of us are new to the internet … And if you are, where have you beeeeeeeen??? We’ve all probably been online for a while now and have seen a lot of less-than-stellar interactions. TBH, my love of snark and snappy one-liners has sometimes contributed to some of that. While I can’t totally promise that I won’t succumb to moments of snarky weakness, I’d like to host a safer, kinder space. Fingers crossed. I tend to believe that we can be better to one another if we try. So if we’re going to spend time together, here are a few non-negotiables…

*People’s right to existence is not up for debate here.** There are certain conversations I won’t be entertaining. There are other blogs for that and this is not one of them. This space presupposes that Black Lives Matter, that sex work is work, that LGBTQ+ rights are human rights, that systemic racism is real, that you should be able to pee in whatever bathroom feels most comfortable, and that people are not illegal. Unless, of course, you’re referring to our slave-owning, land-stealing, genocidal forefathers. In that case, you’d be dead on.

*Women, POC, adult film performers, heaux, strippers, anyone who’s ever traded sex in any capacity, the homeless, drug users, all the LBGTQ+, immigrants, those living with mental health conditions, Neuro-atypical, and those with disabilities to the front.

*If you’re going to disagree, try and be the person you’d want to disagree with. In short, don’t be an asshole.

*That being said, let’s not assume the worst about the person who commented. What if you misunderstood what Bob from Iowa meant? What if Bob misunderstood what you meant? What if Bob’s cat was laying on the keyboard? What if Bob is a really shitty typist and made all the typos? What if Bob has been living under a rock and doesn’t know anything about Black Lives Matter or the difference between sex work and trafficking? If most of our communication is through inflection, tone, body language, facial expression, and other physical cues, there’s the possibility that we’re missing some of what Bob is trying to say. Let’s slow down and, at the very least, gently remind Bob that he needs to slow down and listen.

*Ask questions and clarify before beating someone over the head with your Bible.

*No beating people over the head with your Bible.

*If you carry more privilege and power in your everyday life than anyone else, your responsibility is to listen first, then respond. Carefully. Thoughtfully. Considerately. I’m talking to you, Becky. You too, Bob.

*Check your motives and confront your own biases. Jesus really digs that.

*Pissed off? I get it, I do that to people sometimes. Feelings are real, but commenting is optional.

*If you’re trolling for the sake of pissing people off, God help you. Get a new hobby.

* And finally, while I have no problem walking you off my page, I’m also a big believer in repentance, making amends, and restoration. If you somehow manage to find yourself in the commenting penalty box, I would love to welcome you back after you are able to:
● Humbly acknowledge your offense(s)
● Genuinely apologize to those who were impacted
● Commit to listening, learning, and respecting others
We all make mistakes. Owning them and growing from them is what’s going to make this world a better place and that starts with us as individuals.

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