Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Gods on Coasters

Home
Pagan
If I Didn’t Have You, Would Someone Else Do?

If I Didn’t Have You, Would Someone Else Do?

Last updated on: August 19, 2016 at 6:24 am by The Coasters

If I Didn’t Have You, Would Someone Else Do? 2016-08-19T06:24:58-07:00 The Coasters

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Screen Shot 2016-08-19 at 8.55.19 AM

JASON MANKEY (Pagan blogger, Raise the Horns): There’s the birthday boy!

JT EBERHARD (atheist blogger, What Would JT Do?): Oh hey Jason. Is Mark here? Is god here? Or are we just floating through a pitiless universe with nothing but our wits for company (see: atheism)?

Jason: Tis just you and I today. Well, me and my several dozen deities, and you and your lonely untheistic corner of the universe.

JT: Joke’s on you: I love my own company, so I’m never lonely. So what’s on the table this week? No politics if you don’t mind. You ever been in love, Jason? #NotComingOnToYou #JustDontWantToTalkAboutPolitics

Jason: Many times, but my wife Ari is my soul mate and she’s the thing I love the most in the world. Except sometimes during football season, but she knew that going in. We were probably destined to be together if you believe in such things. Do you ever believe in such things?

JT: Nope. 😛 But happy for you. How long has it been? How’d you deduce she was your soul mate?

Jason: We had a long and tortuous courtship. We dated for a few months, she was 18 and I was 24. I then decided to sow my oats, but she remained my best friend and occasional girlfriend. She moved into my house a year later (I had the party house among my group of friends) but we didn’t officially date again until we were practically engaged. About five years in I realized I simply couldn’t live without her and she meant everything to me. We’ve been together 18 years, married for 12.

JT: That got the strangest “awww” out of me.

Jason: It’s either an inspiring love story or “Jason, you are giant ass.” Ari says she knew the moment she saw me.

JT: My wife and I find the song “If I Didn’t Have You (Someone Else Would Do)” romantic. 😛

Voice of God: I LOVE THAT SONG. THE NOTION OF FATE IS INDEED INHERENTLY FLAWED.

JT: Literally, not joking, the first line of Michaelyn’s vow was “You’re not my soul mate.”

Jason: Our song for awhile was “Indian Summer” by the Doors. It has the line “I love you, the best. Better than all the rest.”

Not the most romantic line in the world. What’s the story of your relationship?

JT: The story of it presently is that we live in a polyamorous…um, molecule? Anyway, we live with her boyfriend (my best friend from college). Happy as clams. Met her at a party, we dated long distance for two years always falling asleep on Skype with a Doctor Who episode sync’d up. I left Ohio to move here with her while she finished school. We had a Doctor Who wedding. I love her more than anything in the world, so at least we have that in common with our partners. 😛

Jason: Polyamory? Are you sure you aren’t a Pagan? We made that term up ya know. It was the late Morning Glory Zell who coined it.

JT: Very true, but we atheists perfected it. 😉

Jason: Is there room for me to write here? I feel the atheist ego taking up all this space . . . . .

JT: Space: atheists invented that.

Voice of God: I’M RIGHT HERE!

Jason: I can’t do polyamory, I really only have room within me to be one person’s emotional support. I tried the other when I was younger and just made both women miserable.

JT: Some Pagan you are!

Jason: Don’t worry, I’m a colossal disappointment to a great many Pagans!

JT: First football, now monogamy. What will the secret panel of gay atheist Pagan commies against America think of your behavior?

Jason: It’s why I don’t always get invited to the best parties. 🙁

JT: Hey, any time you’re in the Midwest you have a place to land. We’ll throw you a party. Bring your lady! I’d love to meet her. I’ve never seen a soul mate. So how do you know somebody’s a soul mate as opposed to you just thinking they’re the bee’s knees?

Jason: My wife and I’s spiritual tradition (a specific type of Wicca) is built upon the idea of a “working partners.” We do everything together, both in the mundane and the spiritual. We also feel like we were kind of pushed together by forces beyond our control. We connect on a deeper level. I’ve loved several people in my life, but Ari and I connect in a way that’s just different. She touches my soul. I sound dopey I know. Maybe you and your wife are soul mates and you are just denying it?

JT: Well, I guess you’d have to define soul mates. 😛 She’s certainly my favorite in all the world, but I’ve met plenty of others who were plenty lovely themselves. But her being the best of the relatively small portion of the human population I’ve encountered doesn’t override the math that there’s likely somebody else out there equally keen.

Jason: If I said that I’d be sleeping on the couch for a couple of days.

JT: Lmao! Well, it’s true. But I’ll never meet the whole population, so I consider myself damn lucky I get to settle down with the best one I’ve come across. 🙂

Jason: I think I’d have to marry a Pagan-Witch and there are only about a million of those in the United States and I’ve met a lot of them . . . . so I feel pretty comfortable in my assessment of things. And I actively tried to find someone else after meeting Ari, which was really stupid.

JT: That’s damn bold of you to admit so openly. Go you. #Respect

Jason: I’ve had a lot of girlfriends and lovemates over the years. I’m sure that can all be traced back to my Mom leaving me at a young age and having some sort of messed up view of relationships as a result.

JT: #ShitJustGotReal Sorry to hear that.

Jason: Shit happens, you learn from it and you move on. But Ari always says she had to prove to me that she’d be there in four years or whatever before I could marry her. She was probably right, she almost always is. Sorry to bring the pain on your birthday!

JT: Don’t apologize! I’d must rather talk about stuff like this that matters than the weather or Donald Trump! Ok, this has been damn fun. But I think it’s time for more birthday snuggles with my not soul mate. 😉 Go give your soul mate a hug for me though!

Jason: Have a great birthday! I’m going to ditch my soul mate tonight for football, my other soul mate.

JT: Ok, well have fun with that. *under my breath* Go Raiders…

Jason: Enjoy 6-10! See you next week!

Image via YouTube screenshot

Previous Post

August 12, 2016

Will His Ego Keep Him In...or Drive Him Out?

Next Post

September 20, 2016 Switching Teams, Changing Seasons, Drinking Scotch

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Christianity Democratic Party Donald Trump Football Fundamentalism Hypocrisy Kansas Love Music Paganism Politics Polyamory Republican Party Ritual

Select a Month October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Thrown into a muddy cistern for prophesying doom, I sank into the mire until rescued. What was my crime?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Treason Prophesying Jerusalem's fall False prophecy Blasphemy