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Godless Mom https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/ Happily raising kids as an atheist. Tue, 28 Jul 2020 17:14:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 7 Tips For Helping Your Child Explore Their Own Identity https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/07/7-tips-for-helping-your-child-explore-their-own-identity/ Tue, 28 Jul 2020 17:11:00 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3968 I have known my stepdaughter from the time she was three. I used to sit with her for hours and paint and draw and colour. She loved anything that required focus and calm and creativity. We made homemade ravioli, we would read stories together and at restaurants, she’d be happy as pie just sitting there […]

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I have known my stepdaughter from the time she was three. I used to sit with her for hours and paint and draw and colour. She loved anything that required focus and calm and creativity. We made homemade ravioli, we would read stories together and at restaurants, she’d be happy as pie just sitting there with the little cup of crayons and a page to colour on.

And then I had my son. We are still not entirely convinced I birthed a human boy and not a full-blown F5 tornado. When we sat with him to colour, he’d scribble for about ten seconds and then proceed to snap the crayons in half and eat one after shoving it up his nose. When we made homemade pasta, I would later find my keys wrapped in pasta dough in the hoodie of his sweatshirt. Painting could only be done with watercolours because he’d create beautiful masterpieces but they ended up on every surface except the paper. And then I’d find a dirty paintbrush in the pitcher of iced tea in the fridge hours later. Anything we left near his person would be destroyed in ways no one could have predicted possible if we looked away for just 3 seconds.

I wanted to raise my son gender-neutral. I was prepared and ready to buy him glittery pink shirts if he wanted them. We would paint our nails together despite the fact that it meant I would be removing nail polish from all corners of the house for three solid weeks. When he asked for a My Little Pony for Christmas, Santa happily made it happen. There were no lines drawn in our house between male & female. I’d watched friends and family struggle with gender identity growing up. I saw how it affected them when people rejected them as they were. I didn’t want this for my kids. I wanted there to exist zero doubt in our house that we would love them no matter who they loved, no matter how they identified.

The thing is though, my son seemed naturally drawn to traditionally “boy things” and my daughter was drawn to traditionally “girl things”. I don’t know if it was something we did subconsciously that enforced traditional gender roles but they were just so different in all the ways previous generations would swear were a result of their biological sex at birth.

I am not entirely convinced of that. I think it’s all so deeply ingrained in our culture that my husband and I just didn’t realize we were enforcing stereotypes when we were. I think that, as a species, we have a lot of growing to do and we still have so much left to understand about ourselves.

In the meantime, I do believe that there are ways we can support our kids as they explore their own identities. Here are some of the tips I’ve found helpful:

1. Remember that things change fast when they are young. In the case of my son and the year he wanted the My Little Pony for Christmas, that lasted about a week and then it disappeared in the abyss of his toy box. He was back to lugging around Nerf guns and pockets full of darts. The point is, don’t take these small things as a sign of anything other than what they are: kids just exploring and interacting with the world. Let the child lead you. If my son had gone full-force into My Little Pony fandom, I’d have been right there by his side like I was with the Nerf guns (too bad for him, though, I’m a good shot).

2. Talk to your baby. Find out why they like the things they do. Listen to them and truly hear what they are saying. This creates trust and a feeling of safety. Your child will grow up knowing that no matter what they have to tell you, they are safe to do so. For some children, the fear of revealing who they really are is crippling and can lead to depression and thoughts of suicide.

3. Don’t be too adult about everything. This kind of coincides with the first point. Sometimes we apply grown-up logic to things that don’t fit neatly into the grown-up world. If your daughter picks up a hammer and seems to take a liking to woodwork tomorrow, don’t rush to the conclusion that she’s going to be the next Jimmy DiResta. Let her take the lead. Sometimes asking for a My Little Pony is just that and there is nothing more to it.

4. If your child is defying gender stereotypes, do not look at it as a problem. It’s not a problem. Don’t cringe and don’t get uptight. Keep your body language, facial expressions and your words as open and welcoming as possible. You have a normal child and there is nothing to worry about outside of the prejudices of the outside world. It is perfectly healthy and okay for your child to explore their identity. Don’t try to gently steer them in any one direction. They are who they are and all you achieve by doing this is teaching them that they can’t trust you.

5. Make sure your child understands that you love them no matter what. Say it constantly and then triple that. Be sincere and point out the things that you love about them. While the world is slowly approaching identity in a more relaxed way, there are still ignorant people out there who will cut people down for not fitting nicely into gender moulds. You’re not going to stop your child from experiencing this. What you can do, though, is arm them with the knowledge that they are loved and accepted by the people who matter the most. This alone can help a child weather the cruelty of a bigoted world.

6. If your child experiences that bigotry, talk to them about it. Make sure they understand the problem lies in the person spewing hatred and it’s not your baby’s fault. When my son encountered kids being cruel, I explained to him that it meant that the child doing the bullying was unhappy with themselves. You’d be amazed at how easily even a young child can grasp this concept. Now, when people are rude to him, my son often says “I feel sorry for them.” You can also teach them the facts about gender identity. The more they understand the science, the more they can feel confident that there is nothing wrong with them.

7. If you find that your child is truly struggling with their identity, don’t wait to get them in to see a therapist. It’s nice to think mommy and daddy are capable of handling any problem their children face, but there are just some things we can’t do. No matter how open we are with our kids, they will still find it easier to talk to someone else about some things.

Of course, I am not a parenting expert so you have to decide what’s right for your family and your babies yourself. These are things I have come to adopt in my household over the years. It works for us.

I wanted to share with you a poem from an atheist parent that fits here so well. I was so touched by it and he has agreed to let me share it with you.

Not Little, Not Lost: A poem for Lucy.

When the days become unbearable and you find your strength is waning.
The evening brings anxiety upon your your mind is reigning.
When the perils of existence leave you wounded, beaten, tossed.
You’ll find that you are powerful, not little and not lost.

When you sense that your identity is slipping through your fingers.
Desolation in your soul seems eternal as it lingers.
When holding to the tethers exacts an awful cost
You’ll find that you are capable, not little and not lost.

Never let them tell you what you can and cannot handle.
Never let them treat your inner beauty as a scandal.
Your love and warmth are paramount in burning off their Frost.
My dear you are a warrior, not little and not lost.

The author goes by the name Duke Bonanza. You can read more of his work here.

I want to know if you have any pointers for helping your kiddos explore their own identity. Have you had experience with your kids struggling with identity? Tell us about it in the comments!

I’m writing a book addressing the many reasons believers distrust atheists. I’m around 40,000 words in! If you want to help me get it done, you can support me by donating here or becoming a patron here.

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]]> Dear Mr. Atheist… https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/07/dear-mr-atheist/ Sat, 18 Jul 2020 03:59:02 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3958 If I had to walk the dog in the sticky heat tonight, I was going to be entertained while I did and so I decided to load up my fellow Canadian, Shannon Q’s channel for a listen. She had Jimmy Snow (Dear Mr. Atheist) on as a guest to discuss the atheist “community” and what ensued […]

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If I had to walk the dog in the sticky heat tonight, I was going to be entertained while I did and so I decided to load up my fellow Canadian, Shannon Q’s channel for a listen. She had Jimmy Snow (Dear Mr. Atheist) on as a guest to discuss the atheist “community” and what ensued was one of the most inspiring conversations I’ve listened to in a long time. I found myself brimming with things to say, but I couldn’t say them because I walking little Lucy Fur all around town. I started walking faster and dragging her behind me (gently! She’s my baby) so I could get home before I lost my train of thought.

I think I made it. I had to shower. It’s really humid out there, guys. So here I go, hair still wrapped in a towel.

Jimmy had a lot to say about uniting under the label atheist. He brought up a lot of good points. For instance, the fact that the only thing any of us have in common for sure is a lack of belief in a god. We can be left-wing or right, liberal or conservative, pro-choice or pro-life. You could really like rocking out to old Alanis records whereas I would rather tase myself until I pass out. The differences are endless. Uniting atheists is like herding cats as they say and I should know this very well because I help to run International Association of Atheists with Bridget Gaudette. None of you agree on anything. At all.

During his conversation with Shannon, he said that the label atheist doesn’t tell you anything about a person and I agree. I mean, you might be able to successfully guess that they won’t be in church on Sunday, but that’s about it. Jimmy also said that he’s disillusioned with the label because you get lumped in with the jerks. An organization that claims to be atheist could be anything, with any goal, and any set of values. All of this is absolutely spot on.

The problem though is that atheists keep coming. People continue to lose their faith daily. They’re in churches in Kentucky and the curling rink in Red Deer, Alberta. You can find atheists in the Australian outback and shopping in the street markets of Bangkok. They are children and teenagers and adults and even seniors. Every colour, every nationality and every shape and size. No matter where you go, people are discovering the holes in religious scripture and coming to the conclusion that they no longer believe in a god. Where the issue lies, is in the fact that so many of these people walk away from their faith and right into hostility; some of them even find themselves in danger. There are many places where the word atheist sends a shock through one’s body. It’s harsh and awful sounding and immediately triggers, in many people, instant disgust.

The term atheist has, throughout history, carried with it visions of evil, immorality and reckless hedonism. We are viewed as miserable, angry and selfish parasites who suck joy from the world. We are loathed by many, distrusted by more and some people hate us enough to hack us to death in front of our loved ones in the street (rest in peace, Avijit).

As I write this, my friend, colleague and advisory board member, Mubarak Bala has not been heard from in nearing 80 days because he dared live openly as an atheist.

For Mubarak and Avijit and for Raif Badawi and Nacer Amari; for everyone like them all over the world who suffer because they left their faith behind, not only should we unite under the term atheist, but I, personally, feel an obligation.

You see, the stigma that comes with the label atheist isn’t just going to go away by itself. We’re not going to change the minds of Saudi lawmakers by leaving all the uniting to the horrible atheists. We won’t help fathers and mothers in Pakistan see that being an atheist isn’t so bad by standing back and letting the hateful atheists take center stage. We will never make Mormon leaders in Salt Lake see atheists as just as generous, selfless and compassionate as they view their missionaries if we step away from the label and let the thoughtless narcissists dominate.

And it matters, you guys. It matters how these people see atheists. It matters because people are dying for it. Real blood is being shed by good and decent people simply because they don’t share the beliefs of their neighbours. Lives are lost because of the word atheist.

We need to change how people see atheists so we can save the lives of newly freed apostates all over the world. We need the good atheists, the generous atheists, the selfless and compassionate atheists to be loud and to drown out the voices of the pitiful, joyless angry ones. It is the only way we remove the stigma. We must make the world see that being an atheist doesn’t automatically mean you’re a repugnant dickhole.

We have to remove the stigma so that our newbies don’t walk straight into harm’s way when they leave god behind. We must. Our friends are dying, for f*cks sake.

So, I’m pretty naive and idealistic, I get it, but I also realize that not everyone feels the same way I do. Many atheists out there feel it’s not their place or responsibility to take on the gargantuan task of stripping the stigma from atheism. Not all of us want to do that and that’s fine. But I do ask that we don’t tell the ones who do that it’s futile. We have already seen great change. Just this past week, Sudan decided that the death penalty is no longer a reasonable punishment for apostasy. The attitudes toward atheists are slowly changing and having the best of the godless community unite under that label for good can only make things move faster.

So don’t avoid uniting under the label atheist because some of the loudest voices are the most abhorrent. Instead, take the mic from them and be louder. Force the world to see that even though we might not be in church on Sunday morning, atheists can be pretty freaking great.

Some of us, anyway.

Thanks for the great show, Shannon and Jimmy. If you want to unite as atheists even just a little, our organization has some pretty cool member perks and we spread secular education, fight blasphemy laws and rescue atheists in danger in hostile parts of the world. Join here.

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]]> Death For Atheism: How Do We Solve This Problem? https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/06/death-for-atheism-how-do-we-solve-this-problem/ Tue, 09 Jun 2020 17:18:30 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3947 “If they find out I’m an atheist, they might kill me.” These are words I never thought would be strung together six years ago. I started at this as a naive blogger, having been raised atheist in a secular part of the world. It never so much as crossed my mind someone could be killed […]

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“If they find out I’m an atheist, they might kill me.”

These are words I never thought would be strung together six years ago. I started at this as a naive blogger, having been raised atheist in a secular part of the world. It never so much as crossed my mind someone could be killed for not believing something. You know this about me already. I say it more often than Trump says tremendous.

The thing is, I say it so much because it haunts me. I grew up surrounded by love and acceptance, and people who didn’t believe in any gods just like me. I was nurtured into adulthood by people who saw the value in my character and didn’t judge me based on antiquated beliefs. Just the mere idea that anyone could feel the slightest modicum of anger because you don’t share their beliefs is still and always will be beyond all comprehension. It still, six years into my atheist activism, blows my goddamned, hellbound mind.

People die because they are just like me. People die because they don’t believe the tales in a book. People die for not sharing the same beliefs as everyone else around them. I feel like I say this so much it doesn’t even pack a punch anymore.

This is the problem. This is a huge problem. As atheist activists, this is a problem that hangs over us every day.

We know this is a problem, but what are the solutions?

The solutions to this massive issue are so complicated. Just moving people from one place to another presents myriad issues that I had never even considered before getting into activism. For instance, paying to help someone relocate can open you up to human trafficking violations. The law is a concern on top of refugee applications and rules, asylum applications, immigration rules, visa conditions. All of these issues are also different for each nation, and familiarizing yourself with the intricacies of immigration law in languages you don’t speak is an absolute nightmare.

The sad truth is, often, we cannot move an atheist in danger. Relocation is sometimes out of the question even more now that we’re in the middle of a pandemic.

So, how do we help? How can we help? What can we do for the atheist who is in danger? Several organizations have had different approaches.

Nigerian Humanists headed by Mubarak Bala (who is still missing) has one strategy. They have approached the problem by setting up safe houses in Nigeria. Apostates who find themselves fearing for their lives can have access to a place to hide from fundamentalist vigilante mobs.

Ateizm Dernegi, an atheist group in Turkey, has launched ARAP or Atheist Refugee Assistance Program. ARAP hopes to hire people who speak Arabic, Persian, Turkish and English to help atheists navigate refugee and asylum applications.

Groups like Secular Rescue have paid to move people from one town to another. Even though the new location harbours just as much hatred towards apostates as the last, this offers the atheist a chance at starting fresh and hiding their nonreligious views.

Most of the time, however, the best we can do is moral support. Now, that doesn’t sound like much, but it is. This manifests in many ways, but includes access to counselors and life coaches who are actively working to lower the rate of suicide and self-destructive behaviour amongst apostates trying to cope with losing everything. This is precisely what Free Hearts, Free Minds has been doing since it was established a couple of years ago.

Yasmine Mohammed is a prolific activist, standing up for the rights of ex-Muslims all over the world. She started Free Hearts, Free Minds for the same reason I began International Association of Atheists with my co-founders: it’s hard to get the pleas for help every day and not be able to offer any assistance.

What Free Hearts, Free Minds does is give the subject access to six sessions with a life coach. With these sessions, they acquire tools to cope with everything life is unfairly throwing at them, now that they no longer fit in with everyone around them. This reduces depression, anxiety and the threat of suicide while other organizations can work to get the subject away from the source of the danger they face.

In my opinion, this service is essential. This service is saving lives. That’s why my organization has partnered up with Free Hearts, Free Minds to raise operating funds for these services. A good life coach isn’t free. A qualified counselor is not free. We need your help to enable this organization to reach more at-risk people in Muslim-majority countries.

I am asking you to pitch in for this worthy cause. Even a dollar will help us reach our goal. You can donate here.

I want to know what solutions you have to deal with this problem? Do you think counseling and life coaching are valuable services to offer apostates in Muslim-majority countries? Let me know in the comments!

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]]> How To Raise Kids Who Are Not Racist https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/06/how-to-raise-kids-who-are-not-racist/ Thu, 04 Jun 2020 19:17:21 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3938 Listen, I’m not an expert on anything except maybe how to disappear your kid’s Halloween candy without them noticing. But I digress. My friends, I want to talk to you about race and racism and how to make sure we’re raising kids who don’t perpetuate the BS of previous generations. It floored me when this […]

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Listen, I’m not an expert on anything except maybe how to disappear your kid’s Halloween candy without them noticing. But I digress. My friends, I want to talk to you about race and racism and how to make sure we’re raising kids who don’t perpetuate the BS of previous generations.

It floored me when this topic came up in a local Facebook group. I live in an all-white, rural town full of housewives who spend each day selling each other their multi-level marketing company junk. That’s not to say that there aren’t some great, compassionate people in this town. Let’s just put it this way: any chatter that isn’t about diapers, gas prices or the weather will earn you a few sideways glances. The fact that someone brought this up in our little town was the sign of hope I was looking for this year. 2020’s been rough.

I spoke up and, of course, being the activist outcast I am, didn’t get too many responses, so I thought you guys might be more open to my ideas. So, how do I go about teaching my kids not to be racist in an almost all-white town? Here are some methods that I employ:

We talk about it. Oh my Thor, we talk about it. This is not a taboo subject for the dinner table or anywhere else in our home. No, we don’t care to listen to the old boomer wisdom that suggests talking about politics, or social issues is impolite. Screw that. In our house, it’s rude not to talk about it. We’re talking about issues that are tied to life and fundamental rights. Just like on the news, the weather and sports come after the critical stuff. If you’re going to get your feathers ruffled because my 11-year-old wants to talk about police brutality over my buttery mashed potatoes, stay home—more taters for me.
We talk about it more! Yeah, that’s right. I’m not going to rest until my kids get sick of it. I will pause the damned movie and explain the social issue being portrayed on screen and ask their opinions. It’s not uncommon for me to be up at midnight on a Friday, sitting on the couch with my kid, talking about the Bay of Pigs invasion or explaining Gandhian nonviolent resistance. The key is, you talk about it when it comes up. You don’t hush it because it’s “not the time or the place.” It’s always the time and the place to discuss the betterment of humanity.
I participate in the democratic process. Understand this goes beyond just casting a single ballot every few years. Participating in a democracy is a lifestyle. You choose where you spend your money. You reach out to your representatives in the government when you care about issues and want to see change. You attend political rallies, and you sport your team colours, and you talk to your kids every step of the way. You make sure they see what you’re doing. You make sure they understand why you’re doing it.
I set an example. It’s one thing to sit down with your kids and tell them all people should have equal opportunity, equal rights and hum the tune to Kumbaya, but showing your kids how to live is far more powerful. I am an activist, and I share my activist work with my family. They know what I do, why I do it and how I do it. It’s more than just me saying, “Be nice to people.” They see me treat people with respect and love. They see me fight for the rights of people who don’t look like us or don’t speak the same language. They see it every day, and I’d like to think it’s rubbing off on them.
I get them participating in democracy, even though they are too young to vote. During Canada’s last federal election, I took my kids to a rally for one of our federal candidates. We cheered as he talked. We nodded in agreement and clapped. The room was crowded and sweaty, but we stuck around for my son to get a photo with him. He got a sign autographed by the man, and my kiddo walked away with a memory that normalizes political participation. Both my son and daughter fully understand that democratic participation is far more than just putting a ballot in a box.
We cut ties with supremacists. I don’t want people around me, my kids or in my home who genuinely feel that any race is below us as white people. I don’t want those ideas pushed on my kids. My need to have a large social circle is far smaller than my need to sleep at night. Don’t get me wrong; I love having friends with vastly differing opinions than me. I can cope with people in my life who see race issues differently. But where I draw the line is when someone thinks whites are superior in some way. I can’t cope with people who seem to believe basic, fundamental human rights are only for some humans.
We cut ties with people who only live in the fluff. You know the types, the ones who shut down the moment a tougher topic than the Bachelorette comes up. The rose-coloured glasses types, the ones that like to tell you that your politics are like farts: leave ’em in the car. No. Karen. YOU leave your potpourri in the car. Saying “I try to stay away from politics” or “I don’t like politics” isn’t gonna fly in my house. If you’re stupid enough to think you can live free of politics, you ain’t infecting my kids with that junk. I’m here to spread the word: it’s OKAY to talk about controversial stuff. That’s how we move forward!
We promote critical thought. We expect that our kids can back up their positions on important issues and look for the evidence. We want them to ask questions, and so we always try to answer them right away and as honestly as we can. When we can’t give the answers, we show them how we might go about finding them.
My kids are well-informed about what is going on in the world and have been since they could understand words. Your kids are never too young to start teaching basic human respect. Your kids are never too young to learn that some people don’t have it as good as they do. If you avoid topics because your kids are too young and the subject might upset them, recognize that’s because the topic is inherently upsetting and we don’t raise people who care enough to change it without them feeling a little upset from time to time. You can’t keep your kids from reality forever. You’re going to have the break the news at some point that our generation is leaving them with a ticking time bomb.
We consume diverse content and content that will make us think. This is more because I feel like I don’t always do the best job of explaining complex issues to kids. It’s not for lack of trying, I just don’t think I am ever the perfect person for the job. Sometimes, you need to refer to materials that do it better. Sometimes you need to refer to the people who live the issue and who experience the issue and hear it in their words and see their emotion so you can trigger empathy.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I’m no expert. I don’t know that any of this has an impact on how my kids treat other people. It feels like it might, though. At the very least, something we are doing in this house is right, because both my kids care deeply about the rights of other people. Both my kids are eager to say, “Black Lives Matter”. Both my kids stand with the protestors. My daughter, especially, uses her social media to share messages of solidarity with the movement.

I want to know, how do you ensure your kids don’t grow up to be bigots? Let me know in the comments.

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]]> How To Explain The Spread of COVID-19 To Your Kids https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/04/how-to-explain-the-spread-of-covid-19-to-your-kids/ Tue, 07 Apr 2020 19:13:07 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3922 Explaining this pandemic and the myriad ways life has changed to a child is no easy task. Overall, our kids have been really great about everything, but there have been a few rough spots. In the beginning, we had to tell my stepdaughter that she couldn’t go to Vancouver to see her mom during spring […]

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Explaining this pandemic and the myriad ways life has changed to a child is no easy task. Overall, our kids have been really great about everything, but there have been a few rough spots. In the beginning, we had to tell my stepdaughter that she couldn’t go to Vancouver to see her mom during spring break. She’d booked a tattoo appointment and put a down payment on it. Her mom had also bought her Billie Eilish tickets as a grad gift. It wasn’t comfortable telling her she couldn’t go. She didn’t get the deposit back, either. Just a couple of days after this, Billie Eilish postponed part of her tour.

We had to tell our son he couldn’t go to the movies when they were still open. He’d been invited by the neighbours. He couldn’t understand why his friend got to go but not him. Two days later, they shut down the theatres.

There are also the constant reminders to wash their hands. While our teenager complies without complaint, we get the eye rolls and the groans from our 11-year-old, and so I thought maybe he needed a better understanding of what’s going on. Of course, we have been totally honest about everything with both of them. However, some of the concepts are difficult to grasp, even for me. I cannot wrap my mind around how long we have already been isolated, let alone how much longer we might have to be. I can’t fully fathom what this will do not just to our economy but our society. The uncertainty has my mind in tangles, and I can’t focus clearly. I can only begin to imagine how hard it is for an 11-year-old to grasp.

So, I decided to tell my son to imagine there are dots on everything and everyone everywhere outside of our house. You can pick your own colour for the dots, but I told my son they were purple. I told him that you can assume your home is clear of all purple dots because you’ve been isolating.

Here’s the game: No matter what, you cannot let any of the dots near your face, especially the mouth, eyes, nose and ears.

Now, imagine each time you touch something outside of your house, some of those purple dots transfer to your hand. Maybe they transfer to your coat or your elbow or shoes, depending on what part of your person touched something else. These purple dots transfer with every touch, without fail. If you touch an apple in the produce section of your supermarket, purple dots transfer to your fingers. If those fingers then touch your other hand, some of the dots slide onto those fingers. Maybe after that, you make contact with your shopping cart, and the dots start living there. Then, when you put your groceries on the conveyor belt to check out, some of the dots spread out from your groceries and hands to the conveyor belt. The checkout counter, of course, has its own set of purple dots its spreading back to your groceries.

That’s when you reach for your phone to pull up your points card. Then your wallet to pull out your debit card. Dots transfer to your phone, your pants or coat pocket, maybe your purse. They spread to your wallet and debit card, and then they spread again to all the cards your debit card is touching in your wallet when you put it back.

Your groceries are in plastic bags that are covered in dots from the checkout counter, the groceries and the cashier. You grab them, and the dots are just free-flowing from your hands to the bags and back again. You take your receipt, which has dots on it already from the cashier. They spread to you, you spread your dots to it, and you shove it in your pocket and now your pocket as purple dots inside.

You head out to your car, pushing open the grocery store door and spreading more purple dots to it and from it. When you get to your car, you open your trunk. Purple dots on your trunk handle. The dot-covered grocery bags are now in your trunk, transferring purple dots to the interior. When you get in the driver’s side door, you spread the dots to the handle. The dots are all over your keys and the steering wheel and now your seatbelt. Maybe you turn on some music, so they’re all over your stereo now, too.

You get the picture. But just imagine what happens to your home, which was clear because you’ve been isolating, when you take your groceries inside. You set them down on your counter and hang up your coat with purple dots on the elbow and in the pocket and likely the cuff. It brushes your sister’s jacket, which is also in the closet and purple dots transfer there.

That’s when you turn to put your groceries away, tucking them into your fridge and your cupboards.

I asked my son at this point, what he thought was happening. He told me that he thought the purple dots were spreading inside the fridge and the cupboard and the counter.

He is old enough to get the metaphor, and I didn’t have to explain to him that if the dots get in your nose, mouth, ears or eyes, you can get very sick, and some cases even die. He knows this. I just wanted him to see the dots on everything, to imagine that so he can visualize what could be happening. At any moment outside of your isolation, you could touch something covered in COVID-19 germs. It just takes one touch for it to transfer to your body and then one instance of you touching your face for it to get into your system and infect you. It could make you sick. It could cause your death.

But even if you don’t show any symptoms at all, you have to imagine that every time you breathe, cough, sneeze or yawn, the purple dots are spewing from your body. Your house cannot be clear if you carry it, that’s when you assume that everything inside your house is teeming with purple dots. That means anyone in your home is exposed to them. At any moment, they could get into their systems and infect them, too.

So, the goal is to keep those purple dots away from your face, no matter what. That’s the game. My little guy only leaves the house to walk the dog with me, so he doesn’t have to worry too much about these dots, but we still bring groceries in from the store and my daughter works at the grocery store. At any moment, one stray purple dot could be lurking on the counter or on the front doorknob, and you could touch it and infect yourself with one eye rub. And that, little dude, is why we wash our hands relentlessly.

It seems to have worked. I don’t get as many eye rolls as I did before, and now he’s reminding me to wash my own hands.

How have you explained things to your kids? Let me know in the comments!

Image: Creative Commons/Pixabay

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]]> Don’t Tell Me How To Cope With A Global Pandemic https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/04/dont-tell-me-how-to-cope-with-a-global-pandemic/ Fri, 03 Apr 2020 16:33:16 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3911 As with any crisis, the spread of COVID-19 across our globe has brought out the holier-than-thou en masse. All you have to do is take a quick scroll through your Facebook feed, and you’ll have no trouble finding someone telling you that your method of coping is unacceptable. Whether they are attacking the use of […]

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As with any crisis, the spread of COVID-19 across our globe has brought out the holier-than-thou en masse. All you have to do is take a quick scroll through your Facebook feed, and you’ll have no trouble finding someone telling you that your method of coping is unacceptable. Whether they are attacking the use of humour to get through this time of uncertainty or they’re suggesting that we must only share the good news and save the bad, they’re there, forcing their coping methods down your throat.

The thing that so many people seem not to want to see is that we all have our ways of coping. Even in my own home, we all deal differently. While my husband prefers to take his mind off what’s going on, I’m the complete opposite: I feel like absorbing as much information as possible makes me feel better equipped to handle what’s coming. I have my news running live on my second monitor as I work every day, and I’m constantly refreshing the numbers of COVID-19 cases around the world. I never miss my afternoon date with Dr. Bonnie Henry and her rockstar sign language interpreter, Nigel Howard.

My husband and I are dealing with this crisis differently, and neither of us feels that the other is doing it wrong. We are different people.

Some of the messages I’ve seen shared around social media are just straight up shaming.

For those of you who are suggesting we can’t make jokes about this epidemic, that dark humour is not a valid or moral way to cope: you’re wrong. Mental health professionals going back to Freud all recognize humour as an effective mechanism to cope with stress, and studies have repeatedly shown that those who deal with humour have found an effective way of reframing and normalizing their experiences. If you don’t have humour as a tool in your arsenal of coping mechanisms, that doesn’t mean that because I do, I am wrong.

And vice versa, just because I deal with humour, doesn’t mean you need to as well.

For the people who insist we only share the positive news, you’re saying this amongst many who prefer to approach the world with realism. You see, I get very anxious when I feel uninformed about important things. I feel as though, without all the information, good or bad, I cannot effectively tackle the problem. Facts and reality are my armour against catastrophe, and you’re telling me you think I shouldn’t have that armour because it makes you uncomfortable? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not me who’s created this situation. I am merely acknowledging it for what it is.

On the flip side, some people insist the only way to cope is to absorb facts. You information junkies have to recognize one thing: For some, information overload is a direct source of anxiety. They simply do not cope the way you do, and that is totally okay.

Some of us have found that we manage by helping and volunteering and donating, while others have found they feel safer focusing on their own family. Some need to talk it out to find emotional stability, and some prefer not to talk about the pandemic at all. Some people are filling their day with busy work, and some people fill their day just thinking and planning. Some of us miss socializing in person, and some of us don’t.

The bottom line here is that none of us have done this before. We’ve never been on global lockdown while our economy melts around us. We’ve never dealt with a pandemic of this magnitude in our lifetimes. So, none of us really know how to cope. We’re just figuring it out as we go along, and we are all different. Something that makes you feel better may not be useful in making your neighbour feel better and vice versa. So quit telling people how to cope. Quit telling us only to share the positives, quit telling us that this is no time for humour and stop telling us that the way we are coping is wrong. It’s not. It’s just wrong for you.

Cope how you need to cope, providing you’re not hurting or endangering anyone else. Curate your social media feeds to suit your personal needs and mind your own business when it comes to how your neighbours are dealing with this crisis. You do you, I’ll do me, and together, with our diverse coping methods, we will get through this thing.

Just stay safe, stay home and wash your goddamned hands.

Image: Creative Commons/Pixabay

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]]> 11 Ways Blind Faith Is Making This Pandemic Worse https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/04/11-ways-blind-faith-is-making-this-pandemic-worse/ Thu, 02 Apr 2020 20:44:24 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3889 Few people are unaffected by the pandemic hitting our species right now. Whether you’re rich or poor, black or white, Christian, atheist or Jewish, every group is suffering the fallout of COVID-19. As such, this is no time to start blaming each other, and that’s not what I am trying to do with this post. […]

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Few people are unaffected by the pandemic hitting our species right now. Whether you’re rich or poor, black or white, Christian, atheist or Jewish, every group is suffering the fallout of COVID-19. As such, this is no time to start blaming each other, and that’s not what I am trying to do with this post. I feel it necessary to mention that there are plenty of religious people out there who are putting facts and science before their faith. They are trusting the medical system and the advice of experts in this time of turmoil.

This post is about blind faith and putting god above all, including the health and lives of your neighbours. This post is about the small pockets of religious people who, in a time of worldwide panic, are choosing to “let go and let god” rather than acknowledge evidence-based advice. This post is a reminder of the importance of electing scientifically literate officials who will lockdown and enforce the lockdown to protect even the most stubborn and uneducated of us all.

Here are eleven ways blind faith is making this pandemic worse:

1. My fellow activist, Yasmine Mohammed, posted this recently on Twitter:

And the he infected his whole family before he died. The End.pic.twitter.com/Cq97g8KQfE

— Yasmine Mohammed ياسمين محمد � (@YasMohammedxx) April 1, 2020

The perfect little shareable clip that illustrates the willful ignorance of blind faith. There’s a part of me that wants to laugh at the sheer stupidity of this, but I can’t because I know this attitude will end up in real, quantifiable deaths. The smugness of this clown will be short-lived as the people around him start to become infected. That blind faith will prevent him from ever admitting he was wrong, though. Instead, I predict mysterious ways will be the culprit once again.

2. Imagine my shock when I learned the leader of a Mega Church was ignoring the advice of scientists and medical professionals. Pastor Rodney Howard-Browne turned himself in after bussing congregants into two separate services held at his gag-inducing gargantuan Godnasium. He assured his flock that he had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on super magical machines that would destroy any virus the moment a person walked through the door. He even claimed it was the most sterile structure in the entire country. Just stop and imagine that was true for one moment, that these machines existed and he was the only one with access to them. Why would he put them in a church? Why not hospitals? Why wouldn’t he invite the infected into his squeaky clean Jesuseria so they could all be cured? What is wrong with the people who believed him and felt that it was perfectly acceptable to prioritize a church over hospitals when making use of this tech? I’ll leave you with those questions because I think we all know the answers.

3. Over 3000 people in India got together for a multi-day event at a mosque and ended up getting locked in as attendees began showing symptoms of COVID-19. Officials in India had to search for attendees who had left, close up the town the event had been held in and bus patients to hospitals and quarantine centers. Over 100 positive cases of COVID-19 have been traced back to this event so far.

4. Donald Trump has spent resources and time on prayer calls and events, while the US exceeds 1,000 COVID-related deaths in 24 hours. He continues to push prayer as a valid method for fighting this virus – when we need leaders to be promoting the evidence-based practices of prevention, this man keeps yapping about magic. Make no mistake, he is sacrificing American lives to this angry god of his.

5. Pastor Tony Spell of the Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, is facing misdemeanor charges for continuing to hold services at his church despite a ban on gatherings in Louisiana. Even with these charges pending, he once again bused in congregants to attend his church services where they were not practicing social distancing, sharing hugs without a care in the world. They would all be perfect contenders for the Darwin awards if it weren’t for the fact that they will spread the virus to others – this isn’t an illness that restricts itself only to those who make stupid decisions. Unfortunately, the dumbassery at play here has grave consequences for us all.

6. The thirty-first patient to test positive for COVID-19 in South Korea was a member of the Shincheonji Church of Jesus. When she began showing symptoms, she refused testing and attended several church events, where members are said to congregate very closely, filling each other’s personal space. When they finally tested Patient 31, and the test came back positive, the government struggled to track down church members due to the overwhelming secrecy surrounding this sect. The church’s leader claims to be the second coming of Christ and its members make up the majority of COVID-positive cases in South Korea.

7. The governor of Florida has deemed churches “essential” and will allow in-person services if online won’t do. I mean, what else can you really say about that? Florida gon’ be Florida and Florida, it would seem, is hell-bent on total annihilation.

8. Ahh, the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, where people will pray for protection from this virus now and in a few short weeks, they will head back to pray for the eternal soul of all the people they infected. An exemption was made for prayer gatherings at the Western Wall of Jerusalem’s old city.

9. In Bangladesh, where religious zealots hack secular bloggers to death in the streets for sport, 30,000 dumbasses got together to pray and cough on each other.

10. It’s becoming more and more apparent that a massive prayer meeting in France has directly led to the enormous numbers of infected in France. The country’s health care system is officially overwhelmed, and they are reporting over 500 deaths per day. A perfect example of how just one gathering can turn your entire country upside down. If you think your country is okay now, all it takes is one assembly of dunces to change everything.

11. Kingdom Church in Camberwell, London, is doing its best to out-stupid Florida. Bishop Climate Wiseman (that’s his real name?) told his parishioners that a bit of red yarn and some super magical Jesus oil could protect you and your loved ones from the coronavirus. Wouldn’t you know it, ol’ buddy Climate Wiseman was good enough to assemble said oil and yarn in a coronavirus protection kit and sell them on his divine web site! You know, I often wonder: if Biblical morality is so damned great, why isn’t there a commandment that says, “Thou shalt not take advantage of the short-of-brick in times of crisis. ”

Blind faith, ladies and gents. It leads you to church and worship, mosque and synagogue even when the answer to your prayer is thousands of deaths. What would stop people convinced they will live on forever? Definitely not a pandemic, of that we can be sure.

Image: Creative Commons/Pixabay

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]]> How Do I Cope With Death? https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/03/how-do-i-cope-with-death/ Mon, 30 Mar 2020 17:02:34 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3765 As the entire world grapples with the threat of coronavirus, many of us have found ourselves thinking more about death than we ever did before. Many of us are struggling with grief and loss and trying to find some way to cope. Some way to get back to normal. I get a lot of questions […]

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As the entire world grapples with the threat of coronavirus, many of us have found ourselves thinking more about death than we ever did before. Many of us are struggling with grief and loss and trying to find some way to cope. Some way to get back to normal. I get a lot of questions about dealing with death normally, but now I am getting them more than ever. I wish I could tell you how to cope, but I don’t know any more than you do.

I do know that in my experience with death, it’s sort of like Plinko. You just kinda fall and randomly land on brief plateaus and you end up where you end up. Every effort to direct your free fall fails miserably, and you know this, but in spite of that, you grasp at anything that looks like it will save you from your inevitable hard landing. With each knock against an obstacle as you fall, you build up a callous. Over time, that callous surrounds your pain and keeps it from crippling you in life, but that pain is still there. It’ll always be there.

There aren’t really words or ideas or thoughts that help. We like to think that if we just find the right way to look at it, that the pain will subside. But even the religious, who believe they will be reunited with their lost loved ones in the afterlife, feel just as much grief as us atheists, who know the loss is forever. It’s no solace to think of Heaven. Your pain is still monstrous, crippling and unbearable.

This is more or less why I know that anyone who tries to tell you they have advice for coping is full of shit. There is no easier way to cope. You are feeling the grief you are feeling because you lost a love that deserves no less.

To be honest, I lie awake some nights, paralyzed by the thought of death or losing someone I love. It is, by far, my biggest fear. Losing a loved one or leaving my loved ones behind.

There’s only one way to look at it. That is to understand that we are lucky enough to have had it all in the first place; to realize that it is its impermanence that adds value. I mean, if life just levelled up instead of ending completely… if we all got a second chance, the first one means less. We don’t need to live and love to the fullest because we can make up for lost time “up there” in eternity. It is the very fact that we only have life for a finite number of years that makes us realize time ought to be treasured and we ought to cherish what time we do have.

How lucky are we to have had someone in our life who mattered so much and who we loved so much that losing them caused such grief? We would not face such grief if we loved no one, but what sort of life would that be? The pain we feel is a testament to what we were lucky enough to experience. A love so deep and so cherished that its loss has crippled us. Not all of us are so fortunate to know that kind of love.

There is no way to make the inevitability of an eternity of no longer existing less terrifying, but when I feel my mind going there, I redirect it to all the things I am so lucky to have. These people, places and passions are finite – and that’s what makes them valuable. We are lucky to have them for the fleeting moments we do. The very fact that we are finite is what makes us so special. It’s what makes life so worth living and so worth experiencing to its fullest. Part of that experience is grief. Another part of that experience is love.

As for Heaven, lying to oneself for comfort doesn’t really work. It masks the feelings we ought to be feeling and sweeps the reality of life and of death under some magical, celestial rug.

The truth is: we are not forever. We are fleeting. We are finite. That’s what makes life so precious. When it’s gone, we go right back to where we were before we were conceived: to a painless, grief-less nothing.

It’s not pretty. It’s not easy to swallow. It’s not wrapped up in a pretty little Jesus bow. It’s just reality and it’s precisely what makes appreciating every moment of this life necessary. The joy and happiness and the pain and sorrow. All of it means we are alive and we are so lucky to be so.

As Dawkins once said,

We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?

To all of you who are lucky enough to have loved so deeply that you are experiencing grief in its loss, cheers. We are truly the lucky ones. The sad, heartbroken, grief-crippled lucky ones who knew love so deeply we still feel its loss.

In our paralyzing losses, we know we have truly lived.

This is not meant to make you feel better. This is just how it is and as an atheist, I prefer to see the world how it is, in it’s wild, harrowing beauty. As life comes and goes all around us, we live another day, sentenced to feel it all. The best advice I can give is to cherish this painful gift and feel your feelings.

Do you have any advice for people wondering how to cope with death as an atheist? Let me know in the comments.

Image: Creative Commons/Pixabay

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]]> Coping With The Anxiety of Covid-19 as an Atheist https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/03/coping-with-the-anxiety-of-covid-19-as-an-atheist/ Thu, 26 Mar 2020 18:21:29 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3872 So it comes in waves. You come across a particularly grim article, with forecasts that make you wonder what, if anything, will be left after all of this. And then maybe you see a tweet that makes you think, well, hey, perhaps this won’t be so bad after all. The waves go really low, though, […]

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So it comes in waves. You come across a particularly grim article, with forecasts that make you wonder what, if anything, will be left after all of this. And then maybe you see a tweet that makes you think, well, hey, perhaps this won’t be so bad after all. The waves go really low, though, and over time you find yourself sinking lower and lower into a pit of anxiety.

Usually, I’m a pretty optimistic person. I prefer to focus on the positives when bad things happen. I’m always looking for the silver lining and reminding myself that this too shall pass.

But usually, there is something positive to grasp.

Usually, there is a silver lining.

I’m having trouble finding one this time.

I mean, I’ve gone over it and over it in my head. Maybe we come out of this with a universal basic income, and that would be cool. But is that a silver lining for Italy? Do you think any single Italian would care?

Maybe you finally oust the orange tyrant occupying the White House over this. That would certainly be a positive, right? But does that matter to Spain?

Maybe we collectively realize that grocery store clerks and truck drivers and other essential workers are worth more than minimum wage. That would undoubtedly drag our civilization into the twenty-first century. But how many Chinese citizens would feel better about all of this as a result?

My guess is none. There is no outcome of this pandemic that will make things okay again in Italy. There are no silver linings for Spain or China.

The worst part is that this is just getting started. Now, the USA is creeping up the Covid charts, threatening to take over the number one spot for hardest hit. I’m in Canada, but that doesn’t make me feel much better. I don’t want to see you hurt any more than I want to see me hurt.

Two days ago, I braved Walmart because we’d run out of produce. I went to pick up groceries for other people as well, who are in a higher risk group than me. I had a list in hand and my disinfecting wipes in my pocket. I was prepared. Or so I thought.

I had trouble finding half the items on my list, and I began to get frustrated. Searching for these things was dragging this out much longer than I had anticipated. I was starting to feel panic at just wanting to get out of the store and back home as fast as possible, but also not wanting to get everything I could so I wasn’t wasting this harrowing trip to the grocery store. No one was smiling; everyone was keeping their distance. Some had masks, and some had gloves, and everyone had tension. You could feel it. No one wanted to be there, and we were all just trying our hardest to get in and out with what we need as fast as possible. But that didn’t happen. It was becoming increasingly frustrating, and I had to stop on multiple occasions to stop and remind myself to breathe. When it finally came time to checkout, there was one til open, and I had way too much to get through the self-checkout as I was shopping for several people. So I stood in line and stewed and tried not to think about the virus, tried to think of good things to fight back the tears—the overwhelming grief at the loss of normal. I wanted to go home and cry.

This was just grocery shopping. Grocery shopping.

Our world, as we knew it is gone. Who knows when and if we get it back. Many of us could have a wretched illness soon. There is no promise any of us will have work when we come out of this. There are so many things to be anxious about right now, and if I, who has it relatively good compared to much of the world, almost broke down grocery shopping, I can’t imagine what all of you are going through.

Especially atheists who have been disowned, shunned, excommunicated or kicked out of their home because they are atheists. I can’t imagine dealing with all of this without a good support system.

I want to help. You know how much I care about you.

The only thing I could think to do to help, though, is to connect with those of you who are struggling with this anxiety. To make sure you know you’re not alone in this. So, my friend Bridget and I, set up some hangouts for just that reason. It’s just friendly people talking with each other, trying to bring each other some comfort in an uncertain time. We’ll be face to face (although you do not have to show your face if you don’t want to), just chatting as friends. A counselor will be present to guide the conversation.

If you’re interested in connecting with me, Bridget or our counselors, make sure you sign up. If you don’t sign up, we can’t send you the Zoom link, so sign up here.

I hope to see some of you guys at these Hangouts. Stay safe, wash your hands, and we’ll talk to you soon.

Image: Creative Commons/Pixabay

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]]> 7 Atheist Parenting Don’ts https://www.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/2020/03/7-atheist-parenting-donts/ Thu, 05 Mar 2020 15:59:34 +0000 https://admin.patheos.com/blogs/godlessmom/?p=3849 I’ve had the pleasure of connecting with tons of secular parents here on the intertubes since starting the Godless Mom blog. I hear lots of stories… some are sad, some are triumphant, some just gutting. There are a few things I hear though, that just strike me as strange. These things feel counterproductive to me and could […]

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I’ve had the pleasure of connecting with tons of secular parents here on the intertubes since starting the Godless Mom blog. I hear lots of stories… some are sad, some are triumphant, some just gutting. There are a few things I hear though, that just strike me as strange. These things feel counterproductive to me and could have the opposite effect you are hoping them to.

Here’s a handful of the most frequent actions taken by atheist parents who contact me, that in my mind are complete no-nos:

1. Don’t refuse to attend family functions in religious buildings. If you’ve been invited to a family wedding at a church, or a Bar Mitzvah at a synagogue… just go. Refusal to do so, based solely on the grounds that you are an atheist, is petty. By refusing to go, you’re assigning power to the religious venue and don’t think for two seconds your kids won’t pick up on this. If you want your children to see a church or a synagogue as just another building like any other, then don’t give it the power to keep you out.

2. Don’t shield your children from religion or religious people. If there are religious people in your child’s life, be okay with them talking to your children about their religion. Just insist that you are either present or told what has been said. You’re never going to be able to stop them from being exposed to religion completely, so you might as well be in control of it. As well, many atheists will attest, the more you know about religion, the less likely you are to believe it.

3. Don’t tell your kids what to think about religion. Instead, tell them what you believe and what others believe and ask them what they think of it. Prompt their little minds to think critically by asking things like, “Does that make sense to you? Why or why not?” Putting them in a position to have to explain their thought process will trigger critical thought like nothing else.

4. Don’t push your kids into learning about religion. Let them guide you. If and when they show interest or ask, “Mommy, what is God?”, that’s when you begin to explore the topic together. If your child appears to lose interest, then let it go. Forcing your kids to hear about religion is only going to make the topic stand out to them. It gives it a power that other topics simply do not have. You’re saying to them, in not so many words, that religion holds no power over you, but they are seeing the opposite. When you can’t drop the subject or let it go, it clearly does have power over you. Kids tend to see the examples you set far sooner than they hear the words you are saying.

5. Don’t neglect other topics. I know this sounds like a no-brainer, but I have had a few parents email me telling me that they “try and try” to explain religion to their kids and it sounds almost as though that’s all they talk about with them. Forcing your children to be lectured about things they have no interest in will only cause resentment and sometimes even rebellion against the very sentiments you are trying to teach. Just relax… teaching your kids about a large variety of things will help keep their curiosity sparked and that is all that’s needed to grow into adults who value critical thought.

6. Don’t ignore their questions. When they ask, answer. If you don’t know the answer, look it up with them. This teaches them several things: First, you respect them enough to answer their questions. Two, they can trust you will answer their questions whenever they come up. This can come in handy when the topic is crucial, like safe sex or calling for a pick-up when their ride is drunk. Three, watching you look up answers teaches your children how to research and find answers for their own questions.

7. Don’t take away religious holidays they might be used to. If all of their friends celebrate Christmas, and they look forward to it and it makes them happy, then why would you deprive them of that? This will cause resentment and also applies power to the religious aspect of the holiday: it has the power to stop you from celebrating it.

Being an atheist does not come with a dogma. We are not, in absence of belief in God, now forced to reject everything associated with a God claim. This is unreasonable and implies that atheism prescribes a certain way of life. We all know it doesn’t. Don’t let your disbelief rule your world, because your children will see that. They will take note and it could work in the exact opposite way you meant it to. You could end up with your very own Ken Ham living in your basement at 43 collecting pop cans to pay for his model of the ark.

Just relax. As an atheist, religion should not be a serious thing one way or the other. Don’t let it have power. Celebrate your kids’ natural curiosity, be honest with them and I think you’ll find that they grow into critical thinking, rational adults.

Image: Creative Commons/Pixabay

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