Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

PaterFamilias Today

Home
Evangelical
Advice for a Single Woman Who Is Looking for a Masculine Man

Advice for a Single Woman Who Is Looking for a Masculine Man

Last updated on: October 23, 2018 at 8:13 am by C. R. Wiley

Advice for a Single Woman Who Is Looking for a Masculine Man 2018-10-23T08:13:44-04:00 C. R. Wiley

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I have known a number of unhappy single Christian women over the years. Many of them are at a loss. Why can’t they find a man who will take a healthy interest in them?

In my experience the women I’m thinking about don’t understand men, and they tend to be surprisingly uninterested in learning about them.

I have my suspicions as to why some of these women lack interest in learning about what makes men tick, but I won’t spend time here discussing those suspicions. Instead I’m going to give some advice to women who have “ears to hear”.

Here goes.

1. Get into the right pond.

What’s the right pond? Too many women are in ponds that are primarily filled with women like themselves. They don’t seem to understand that they need to get into another pond in order to meet masculine men.

Generally these women work in the cubicle farms of large corporations, or in healthcare, or education. And just as generally, the few masculine men you find in those places are already taken. The other men are either in much demand, or they are practically worthless. You must find a pond filled with masculine men. (And no, it is not a singles-bar; or the singles-group at the mega-church–in those places you find either the predator or the Christian version of guy you’re not interested in.)

I recently told a young woman who was heading off to college, “Go ahead and join the Jane Austen Fan Club, but don’t expect to find many men in it.” Since she is gifted in math I told her, “Join the physics club, too. You’re more likely to meet men there.”

This is what I mean by getting into the right pond.

2. Learn to drop the hanky in the right place.

Learn to drop the hanky. Feminism is all about not needing men. (It is an illusion, but let’s just run with it for a moment.) Often career minded women will say to themselves, “The reason men don’t ask me out is because they are intimidated.” Wrong. The reason is masculine men don’t find you attractive–and I’m not talking about physically attractive.

A masculine man often has a surplus of ability when it comes to traditionally masculine arts. A single man who is masculine has no place to invest the surplus. When a woman sends the message–“I don’t need what you’re offering, I can do everything for myself,” he is turned off. He moves on.

A traditional woman knows that a household is a place for interdependence, not independence. She knows how to receive a man’s gifts. And one of the ways to signal that is by asking for help. Everyone likes to be needed–and this is true for masculine men.

3. Give as well as get.

Learn to give as well as get. A masculine man is not looking for “one of the guys” to marry. He’s not interested in competing with his wife.

He’s looking for a woman to bring into his life things he can’t do for himself. A traditional woman gives him things that make his life richer and more complete. Generally he will be at a loss for words to express his gratitude–he’ll often express it by giving things that come from his strengths.

A healthy masculine man doesn’t receive a woman’s gifts as a put down. Instead he is grateful (if he is virtuous), and he feels appreciated.

4. Don’t wait.

Don’t wait. Here’s the reality: the marriage prospects get better for men as they age, the reverse is true for women.

Is it fair? Who cares. It is a fact. Deal with it.

I see women put things off because they’ve bought the feminist narrative about success and so forth. Then they’re single and childless at 35. They live in a nice apartment with their cats, they drive a nice car, they have a middle-management position in some bureaucracy that could replace them in the blink of an eye. And they’re miserable.

Don’t wait.

Happiness

Household Economy

Theology of the Family

Tradition

Advice for single women looking for a man

Previous Post

October 17, 2018

Thumbscrews: How Conservative Clergy Are Pressured into Silence

Next Post

November 16, 2018 The Antifragile Pastor

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advising a Daughter Aristotle Art Atheism Author and Speaking Appearances Beauty Building Working Houses C R Wiley Children Community Creativity Cultural Apologetics Fatherhood Fiction Fidelity in marriage Film Freedom Gravitas H. P. Lovecraft Happiness Household Economy Infant Baptism Inklings Interpreting the Bible Interviews Jack Donovan Liturgy Localism Man of the House Manliness Martial Virtue Medieval Cosmology Metaphysics Mortimus Clay NecronomiCon New Left New Testament Household Codes Nietzsche Nominalism/Realism Politics Poverty Preaching Productive Property Reaching men Science Self-Sufficiency Side Hustles Social Ethics Social Security Spiritual Disciplines Sublime Techno-gnosticism The Pastor's Survival Guide Theology of the Family Tradition Uncategorized Virtue Weird Fiction

Select a Month February 2019 November 2018 October 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What did Job maintain throughout his speeches?

Select your answer to see how you score.

His guilt His silence His innocence His wealth

Books by This Author Books by PaterFamilias Today

See All Titles »

Books by C. R. Wiley

The Purloined Boy (The Weirdling Cycle #1)

C. R. Wiley

Man of the House: A Handbook for Building a Shelter That Will Last in a World That Is Falling Apart

C. R. Wiley