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On Acquiring a Wife

On Acquiring a Wife

Last updated on: May 6, 2016 at 9:55 am by C. R. Wiley

On Acquiring a Wife 2016-05-06T09:55:08-04:00 C. R. Wiley

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A wife these days is considered little more than a recreational partner.

You can see it in what passes for courtship. The “singles-scene” is mostly a network of institutions dedicated to facilitating “recreational-sex” or recreational interests.

While match-making algorithms at eHarmony.com and elsewhere, do query customers on subjects like “values” and politics, the questions are asked in the interest securing interpersonal harmony during one’s off hours. Who wants to bicker all the time about religion when you’re supposed to be having fun, right?

This is one reason why older ways of thinking about courtship and marriage strike us as strange, even morally suspect.

Take the dowry, for example. Offering money to the prospective husband of my daughter? What’s that supposed to be, some kind of bribe?

Learning to see the household as a working concern–

But if you can make room in your mind for an old idea, a dowry made good sense, it may even be indispensable. (It may even make a comeback.)

What’s this old idea? This: to the older way of thinking families do not merely own businesses, they are businesses. A dowry was not a bribe to get your daughter off your hands, it wasn’t even money paid to take care of her. It was seed capital. A woman with a dowry was a junior partner in a new venture and the dowry was the contribution her family made to the new enterprise.

Many people today consider it a great leap forward that men don’t need women and women don’t need men like they used to. You can take a wife or leave her these days (many do leave), because all the really important stuff happens at work. And work is usually performed at a big corporation or in some bureaucracy.

Fortunately many of these entities leave us a little free time at the end of the day and on weekends. (Although people in Silicon Valley, I’m told, have far less free time than the rest of us.) During those off hours you get to spend your free time with the people, or pets, that you love.

But in the “bad old days” the lines marking off work from home-life were delineated differently. The people you worked with were often the same people you spent your free-time with. Your wife was your “helpmeet” in the old way of thinking. So her talent and her temperament served very practical ends. She was your “business” partner, you could say, as much, if not more, than your recreational partner.

http://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Next-Door-Surprising-Americas/dp/1589795474?ie=UTF8&qid=&ref_=tmm_pap_swatch_0&sr=

What does that mean when it comes to acquiring a wife? It means things that may not have even made the list when you’re looking for someone to spend the weekend with are actually near the top of a helpmeet list.

Since I’m an advocate of a return to household political economy, I commend this old way of thinking for your consideration if you are a young man in search of a wife. Obviously this list could be matched by a list made by women when searching for a husband. Perhaps I’ll attempt another list another time. (I do think a woman who knows what I’m talking about when I refer to household economics would be better at that though.)

Anyway, here are a few things to consider adding to your list. Each is framed in the form of a question.

Does she love children?

A household, traditionally understood, is an intergenerational working concern. A successful household acquires productive property and works it profitably. Children work early on, and carry on the work latter. Obviously in our world this must be adapted to contemporary conditions. But it is not as much of an anachronism as you may imagine. This is the way many of the “One Percent” do things. Another thing to remember is in a world of failing welfare-states, and vanishing pension plans, your children are likely to grow more important to you as you age, not less so.

Is she frugal?

In the book, The Millionaire Next Door, the authors note that financial independence is made possible by doing two things: playing good offense and playing good defense. What they mean by offense is productivity, either by generating income, or through asset appreciation. Defense is retaining your gains. It means living below your means. No matter how much you bring in, it is always possible to live beyond your means. (Just think about all those bankrupt athletes who were once “rich”.)

In my case, I am blessed with a wife who plays defense extraordinarily well. I bring in about 90% of the household income, but my wife does a tremendous job of holding on to it.

Does she enjoy working with her hands?

A productive household, even a high income one, calls for more than mental work. Working with your hands is essential for every member. A soft or squeamish woman is a liability in a household political economy. Every member must be willing to get dirty hands. A woman who can work with her hands is a great blessing.

Anyway, this is just a start. If you can think of other questions to add to my list, please put your suggestions in the comments section below.

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