That yucky feeling you get when you see Ryan Lochte might mean God exists

Last updated on: November 7, 2017 at 11:16 am by Nancy French

That yucky feeling you get when you see Ryan Lochte might mean God exists 2017-11-07T11:16:03-05:00 Nancy French

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By now, you’ve heard the news. Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte made headlines when he said he was robbed at gunpoint during the Rio Olympic Games:

A photo posted by Ryanlochte (@ryanlochte) on Aug 14, 2016 at 2:57pm PDT

Turns out he may not have been “robbed at gun point.” There’s another side of the story. Allegedly, he and a few other swimmers went to a party, got drunk, broke mirrors and vandalized a bathroom gas station, and then acted like jerks to a guard who asked them to stop.

Note: if you tell the world a man put a gun to your head, police will investigate.

Rio police are now recommending Lochte and his cohort Olympic swimmer James Feigen face the music for falsely reporting a crime. While Lochte was comfortably back in the United States, swimmers Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz were stuck in Rio surrounded by a mob screaming at them for besmirching the character of the Olympic host city.

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They were visibly shaken as they had to go through the mob of reporters, protestors, and photographers.

Lochte, back in America, was no where to be seen.

Now, during a great Olympics full of Bob Costa-enhanced inspiration, the phrase “Ugly American” is on everyone’s lips:

And that “ugly” doesn’t even factor in Lochte’s dyed hair that apparently reacted to Rio pool water to make it look like this:

@poloralphlauren @ralphlauren #usa #riodejaneiro #olympics

A photo posted by Ryanlochte (@ryanlochte) on Aug 6, 2016 at 10:14am PDT

There’s something about this story that’s just annoying. He’s a 32 year old Olympian who doesn’t behave better than a middle school boy… and he lets his friends take the heat. Every time I see a photo of him, a sense of injustice wells up in me. And that yucky feeling might just prove the existence of God.

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