Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Relationships and Religion
The Lie Religion Told You About God — And About You

The Lie Religion Told You About God — And About You

Last updated on: June 4, 2026 at 12:12 am by Robert Cottrell

0 Comments

The Lie Religion Told You About God — And About You 2026-06-04T00:12:01-05:00 Robert Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Image by Myriams-Fotos

There’s a certain kind of religious message that spreads because it sounds humble. Reverent. Deeply spiritual.

You’ve probably seen it before.

Soft background. Elegant font. Devotional tone.

Recently I saw one that said something like:

“If we truly understood how offensive even the smallest sin is to a holy God, we would be utterly undone. Yet because of Jesus, God now sees us as holy and blameless.”

And for many Christians, that sounds beautiful. Like awe. Like reverence.

But underneath the poetic language is a message that has quietly wounded millions of people:

You are fundamentally repulsive to God. But thankfully, Jesus stands in the way.

And friends, that is not good news.

That is shame wrapped in worship language.

For so many people — especially LGBTQ people, parents of LGBTQ kids, and those deconstructing rigid forms of faith — this theology shapes everything.

It shapes how you see yourself.
How you see your body.
How you experience desire.
How you relate to your child.
How you approach God.

Many of us were taught that spirituality begins with self-loathing. That the holiest thing you can do is agree with God about how unworthy you are.

But let’s be honest about what that does to a human soul.

You cannot build secure attachment to a God who secretly cannot stand you.

You cannot experience peace while believing your existence is fundamentally offensive.

And you cannot grow into wholeness while treating your humanity like contamination.

That isn’t humility.
That’s spiritual shame.

The Problem Starts With the Wrong Image of God

This entire framework depends on imagining God as a cosmic perfectionist.

A divine authority figure with impossibly high standards and deep disappointment toward human beings.

A God constantly recoiling from imperfection.

But what if that image itself is the problem?

What if God is not an angry deity keeping score?

What if God is not disgusted by your humanity?

What if the sacred is not fundamentally opposed to your existence?

Because when you read the life of Jesus carefully, the pattern becomes impossible to ignore.

Jesus consistently moved toward the people religion pushed away.

The shamed.
The excluded.
The “unclean.”
The outsiders.
The morally judged.

And he did not approach them with revulsion.

He approached them with restoration.

With dignity.
With belonging.
With love.

He did not say:
“You are disgusting, but God will tolerate you because of me.”

He communicated something radically different:

You belong before you perform.

You are loved before you change.

You are worthy of dignity before you become religious enough to earn it.

We Built Entire Theologies Around Shame

Over time, Christianity developed highly legal and transactional ways of understanding salvation.

Systems where humanity became primarily defined by depravity.
Where God required payment.
Where Jesus functioned as the acceptable substitute shielding humanity from divine wrath.

And while many sincere people find meaning in those frameworks, we also need to acknowledge the psychological impact they can create.

Because when the core message becomes:
“God cannot bear to look at you unless you are covered,”

people internalize that.

Children internalize that.
Queer teenagers internalize that.
Parents internalize that.

And eventually people begin relating to themselves with the same suspicion they imagine God feels toward them.

That matters.

The Original Story Begins With Goodness

Before shame enters the Genesis story…
Before punishment…
Before exile…

What is the first thing said about humanity?

That humanity is good.

Not “good once corrected.”
Not “good once saved.”
Not “good once spiritually cleaned up.”

Good.

That is the foundation.

And yet so much religion trains people to distrust their own humanity from the very beginning.

We learn to fear ourselves.
Fear desire.
Fear questions.
Fear authenticity.
Fear our bodies.
Fear our children’s identities.

Especially when those identities fall outside religious expectations.

And once fear becomes the center of spirituality, love begins to disappear.

Because fear-based religion always creates performance anxiety.

Am I holy enough?
Faithful enough?
Pure enough?
Certain enough?
Straight enough?
Obedient enough?

People spend years spiritually hustling for approval that we already had. You ARE enough. You always were and you always will be.

For FREE resources, come say hello. Click here.

General Christian

Relationships and Religion

Previous Post

May 6, 2026

We Are Not the Resistance — We Are the River

Next Post

June 3, 2026 The Common-Sense Case for Why Being LGBTQ+ Is NOT Sinful

Recent Comments

0 | Leave a Comment

"Only To Genders male and female God ony created male and female .He loves everyone ..."

Charlotte Spee

Why God Is Not Offended by ..."

"God created male and Female that are the only 2 genders"

Charlotte Spee

Why God Is Not Offended by ..."

"I did not intend to endorse the way that some people project their own prejudices ..."

David N. Gray

The Lie Religion Told You About ..."

"well we will disagree of course on alternative lifestyle choices being bad behavior, but you ..."

Frank Holzhauser

Why I Wear Rainbow and Affirming ..."

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who did God give the Ten Commandments to?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Noah Moses Joshua Abraham

Support this
Column