Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
An Unclaimed Body – the Last Victim of Pulse. Where is the Love?

An Unclaimed Body – the Last Victim of Pulse. Where is the Love?

Last updated on: June 12, 2020 at 11:54 am by Susan Cottrell

An Unclaimed Body – the Last Victim of Pulse. Where is the Love? 2020-06-12T11:54:31-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

cover

At a time when a parent weeps uncontrollably, mourning the death of their precious child, what would possibly drive a father to refuse to claim the dead body of his son? Oh wait, he told us: the son was gay.

Where is the love?

Is the middle of the unspeakable pain of losing your child to a senseless act of hate and violence, you have to plan a funeral. What would possibly cause a church to refuse to allow you to hold the memorial service there? Oh wait, they told us: the victim was gay.

Where is the love?

The part of the church that is anti-gay justifies the condemnation and rejection of their LGBTQI brothers and sisters based on a handful of Bible passages – passages that are actually misunderstood and mistaught. But it’s that same Bible, in John 13:35, that says they will know you are Christians by your love.

Not by your doctrine, not by your obedience, not by your statements of faith… by your love!

So, I ask the father who refused to claim the body of his son, I ask the church who refused to allow a funeral of a gay person, I ask those in the church who are non-affirming… what do people know you by?

What names would people use to describe you? They may not be words you would like to hear.

You claim to be Christian but Jesus told you to love God, and love others – period. And by this would people know that you follow and believe in him.

On my recent trip to Orlando, I went to Pulse. The sky had just begun to clear as we arrived. It had been raining all day, which seemed only fitting. Colorful canvas banners lined the chain link fence around the black shell of a nightclub, and memorial tributes were everywhere.

We smiled at two young men. The tears in their eyes brought tears to mine, and we chatted a bit about their trip from out of state to visit the site. I was with my friend Debby—we had just come from a gathering of the Orlando moms from our Facebook moms group, so we were feeling maternal.

We signed the banners. We read the notes left by others, feeling their hearts through their words and mementos left behind. In all that I read, I did not see one scripture reference, no mention of God or Jesus, no obvious words of comfort from those who are called, above all else, to love.

Where is the love?

A young woman was sweeping the grounds of bits of debris left from the rain. She told us she comes regularly, that this was her way of showing respect to the victims. She cried a little and Debby hugged her. She said she had seen the killer in Pulse several times before, with a male date. And she started crying again. I hugged her and held her tight, until she finally broke and she just cried without trying to hold it back.

I thought about all the love in this place, from all the words of love and hope to the display of rainbows, flowers, painted rocks, and stream of visitors. I thought of the love of the families whose hearts were ripped out of their chest from their unimaginable loss. And I thought of the victims—sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, workers, students, young adults and mature adults—and the love that follows them still.

And I thought of the murderer. In this kind of killing spree, what kind of messy world must have existed for this man whose father vociferously rejects gay people? How might he have found his way out of his own pain and confusion?

How does the father who refuses to claim the dead body of his son, or the church who refuses to host a funeral for a gay person, or Christians who have refused to come here to express their love, find their way out of all of this pain, confusion, and hate. How do any of us find our way out?

Love.

Love is the only way out of this madness. Love is the only path that will lead beyond the hatred and self-loathing and rejection that explodes in these horrific acts.

If you are the parent of an LGBTQI child, love is all you need to know, all you need to do. If you don’t understand, if you don’t agree, just love and let the answers come when they come. You will never, ever regret loving too much.

If you are LGBTQI, know in the deepest places of your heart that you are loved and you are not alone. God, the universe, a higher power loves you – completely, fully, as you are, for who you are.

Where is the love? It is in us to give. It always has been and it always will be. It is our choice whether or not we let it out.

Love. Please.

We remember.

Stanley Almodovar III 23, Amanda L. Alvear 25, Oscar A. Aracena Montero 26, Rodolfo Ayala Ayala 33, Antonio Davon Brown 29, Darryl Roman Burt II 29, Angel Candelario-Padro 28, Juan Chavez Martinez 25, Luis Daniel Conde 39, Cory James Connell 21, Tevin Eugene Crosby 25, Deonka Deidra Drayton 32, Simón Adrian Carrillo Fernández 31, Leroy Valentin Fernandez 25, Mercedez Marisol Flores 26, Peter Ommy Gonzalez Cruz 22, Juan Ramon Guerrero 22, Paul Terrell Henry 41, Frank Hernandez 27, Miguel Angel Honorato 30, Javier Jorge Reyes 40, Jason Benjamin Josaphat 19, Eddie Jamoldroy Justice 30, Anthony Luis Laureano Disla 25, Christopher Andrew Leinonen 32 years, Alejandro Barrios Martinez 21, Brenda Marquez McCool 49, Gilberto R. Silva Menendez 25, Kimberly Jean Morris 37, Akyra Monet Murray 18, Luis Omar Ocasio Capo 20, Geraldo A. Ortiz Jimenez 25, Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera 36, Joel Rayon Paniagua 32, Jean Carlos Mendez Perez 35, Enrique L. Rios, Jr. 25, Jean Carlos Nieves Rodríguez 27, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano-Rosado 35, Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz 24, Yilmary Rodríguez Solivan 24, Edward Sotomayor Jr. 34, Shane Evan Tomlinson 33, Martin Benitez Torres 33, Jonathan A. Camuy Vega 24, Juan Pablo Rivera Velázquez 37, Luis Sergio Vielma 22, Franky Jimmy DeJesus Velázquez 50, Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon 37, Jerald Arthur Wright 31

We have extensive resources and vibrant community for LGBTQ and for parents. Come say hello at www.FreedHearts.org

Previous Post

May 9, 2017

How To Parent an LGBTQI (or Any) Child

Next Post

June 14, 2017 Wonder Woman, Parents, & the LGBTQI Community!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who is the "friend at midnight" in one of Jesus' parables?

Select your answer to see how you score.

A neighbor seeking bread A fisherman A soldier An angel

Support this
Column