Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
11 Reasons You Should Absolutely Go to Your LGBTQ Child’s Wedding

11 Reasons You Should Absolutely Go to Your LGBTQ Child’s Wedding

Last updated on: June 1, 2016 at 10:31 am by Susan Cottrell

11 Reasons You Should Absolutely Go to Your LGBTQ Child’s Wedding 2016-06-01T10:31:49-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

One of the most spectacular weekends of my life was the time of my daughter’s wedding! I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Here’s what I got to enjoy: a Friday night crawfish boil with both families eating, drinking, and enjoying each other. Saturday morning of beignets and coffee, and a walk down Magazine Street with all the girls.

Helping my daughter with her makeup and outfit and flowers. (She didn’t need help–I needed to help.) Telling her how absolutely beautiful she looked. A wedding under a giant tree in Audubon Park. Holding hands with my husband as we all walked out of the park. Dinner and dancing and wine and joy. All my kids together laughing and hugging and joy overflowing. Memories that will last the rest of my life.

If you have been invited to your LGBTQ child’s wedding, there is a place that is exclusively for you, a chair only you can fill.

When I hear from parents that they refuse to attend their child’s wedding, just because that child is part of the LGBTQ community, I am deeply saddened. It is a loss for them as well as their child. It is a deep wound. And, it is a mistake. I believe most parents, if they are in any way listening to the God they claim, will end up regretting having missed their child’s spectacular day.

Here are 11 reasons why you should attend your LGBTQ child’s wedding.

Reasons You Should Absolutely Go to Your Child’s Wedding!

It’s your child! The one you brought into this world, the one you swore to love because—again—it’s your child.
Withholding your love is not an option. You don’t get to decide if you agree or disagree with who they are. Think about it. You’d be devastated if they did that to you—if they decided not to participate in your celebration of something important to you, even if they disagreed with it. Family is family. Your job is to love. Your job is to be there.
This is important to them. You may not have loved every soccer game they played but you were there, because it was important to them.
This will not make the statement you think it will. No one will say, “Your parents sure are committed Christians—look how they missed your wedding!” No. They will say, “I can’t believe your parents are so self-righteous—*and selfish—*that they made this day all about them instead of you.” And they will be right.
To miss their wedding is selfish. This is the time to lay down your own wishes, and love when you don’t feel like it. If it is really about your own discomfort at seeing two men or two women get married, it’s time to lay down your own wishes, and love when it’s uncomfortable. This is their day, not yours. And you should be there.
It’s not about you. You had your own wedding and invited who you wanted. This is their wedding and they invited who they wanted to – including you! Don’t make it political or religious or self-righteous. Make it family and make it love. And act accordingly.
It’s now or never. You can’t take this back. As your faith matures you and you realize God never asked to miss your child’s wedding, you will not be able to turn back the clock and go to the wedding later. This is it.
They will never forget. Ten years from now, after you have sought your child out because you want to be part of their life, because you want to see those grandchildren, and same-sex marriage is so common you will wonder what the big deal was (remember the big deal over interracial marriage?), they will still remember that you didn’t go to their wedding. They will forgive because they are generous like that, but you will still both know that you missed their wedding.
You don’t want to miss their wedding! How many do you get anyway? You only have so many children’s weddings to go to, and you are the only one who can fill that role of parent. They may ask someone else to stand in if you decline, but it’s still your role. You are still the one who belongs there.
You will be okay if you go. You may think it’s a very big deal right now, and very scary, but it’s not. It’s your child, whom you love, committing their future to the love of their life. You are still their parent and, if they want you there, be there for their special day!
Family is not a choice. This is the child God gave you. Period. Your child never got a choice about the family they came into. They had no choice but to accept your family as is, quirks and all. Now it is your turn to accept who your child is, as they are. That’s how it works. Step up to the plate now and participate.

They want to marry someone they love, of the same gender. They want us there, and we won’t go? We are without justification.

Please, please, please, if you are invited, join your child for one of the most important days of their life.

You won’t ever regret it.

Susan is part of a private, secret Facebook support group for Moms, and her husband, Rob, runs one for Dads. If you would like more information, please just contact us here. Thank you!

Church & Religion

Family Support

Gay Weddings & Marriage

Previous Post

May 26, 2016

God is NOT a Bully... Though Some Christians Are

Next Post

June 9, 2016 "Uh, No, We Don’t Have Gay People Here!”

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Rabbi" mean?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Messenger Priest Scribe Teacher

Support this
Column