Patheos

BuddhistCatholicContemplativeEvangelicalGeneral ChristianHinduJewishLatter-day SaintMuslimNew VisionsProgressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Patheos

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos Patheos on Facebook Patheos on YouTube

freedhearts

Let The Trash Take Itself Out

Last updated on: November 11, 2014 at 9:45 am   by Susan Cottrell

Let The Trash Take Itself Out 2014-11-11T09:45:42-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

trash

Now hold on a minute, I don’t mean the PERSON is trash. No.

But sometimes a relationship is trash.

That is, sometimes a relationship that used to provide life no longer does, and it’s time to move on. Sometimes a friendship that used to be healthy becomes toxic, even deadly. The best thing – even if it’s a difficult thing – may be to let the relationship go.

I have had relationships in the past, friendships, that were crucial to me at that time in my life. Relationships with people I believe God specifically connected me with, for both our benefit.

Then the tide turns, and that relationship is no longer producing joy or benefit for one or both of us. The closer the relationship is, the harder it can be to let it go, because it’s full of memories of great times, buoyed by the hope that those good things won’t stop.

But once that ship has sailed, that ship has sailed.

These relationships may end in harsh words, even tears, because we’re trying to hold onto something that was once exhilarating but is now crushing.

I am a complete advocate for reconciliation. “As far as possible, be at peace with everyone,” to quote Paul. But peace is not always possible, and peace may look like going your separate ways.

That’s okay.

Think about pruning a tree. It involves cutting back good branches. There’s a skill to it, because some branches are best pruned and some best left to grow. The principle is that the big productive branches require more and more nutrients, etc., to produce proportionately less fruit, whereas the smaller branches use less to produce more.

The friendships that produced the most life are the hardest ones to admit the end of, when the end has come.

We doggedly resist change, for the most part, because it’s scary and way too unsettling. We wonder why everything can’t be as it once was.

Only by looking back can we see the freedom that came from simply letting it go, and letting our lives move forward the way they’re designed to.

 

Family Support

LGBTQ Support

gay child

gay daughter

gay son

homosexuality

lgbt

Previous Post



November 10, 2014

Christians, Here's Why You Don't Have to be Afraid to Support Gays

Next Post



November 12, 2014 Is it Time to Stand Up in Your Church?


Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012


Follow Us!

Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter



TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the mother of Jesus?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Elizabeth Sarah Mary Ruth

Support this
Column

Related posts from FreedHearts

Family

We’re Straight & Queer. Why It Matters.

FreedHearts

Family

Queer. Why It Matters Now More Than Ever.

FreedHearts

Family

The Lie Religion Told You About God —...

FreedHearts

Family

We Are Not the Resistance — We Are...

FreedHearts

TRENDING AT PATHEOS Progressive Christian

When Halloween Unmasks Married Hearts

Written by Dr. David K. Ewen from Eternal Truth Bible College Behind...

Jesus Was Not an Aristotelian

Aristotle. He’s been called the father of logic, the father of the...

Methodist Central Hall and Westminster Abbey

Situated on the same square is Methodist Central Hall and Westminster Abbey. ...

57th Dove Awards Honor Dolly Parton, Crown New...

On gospel music’s biggest night, the 57th annual GMA Dove Awards honored...

The First Eucharistic Controversy: Christ’s Real Presence

For Catholics, the Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian...

What a Stop Sign Can Teach Us About...

How to Make a Decision When You Can't Hear God Main point:...

view all Progressive Christian blogs

Patheos on Facebook Patheos on YouTube

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Copyright 2008-2026, Patheos. All rights reserved.

Subscription Support Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In

Follow Patheos Patheos on Facebook Patheos on YouTube