Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Choose Life or Death

Choose Life or Death

Last updated on: June 3, 2014 at 10:10 am by Susan Cottrell

Choose Life or Death 2014-06-03T10:10:41-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Digital StillCamera

Some days I just get up and go. I know my list of things to do, and I go to it. And I get a lot of work done, I like it and it’s satisfying.

Other days – I’d like it to be more days – I get up and pause, and I ask God to direct me in the day. that’s when I hear a little gem. Not always, but often. I feel nudged to call somebody I’ve needed to talk to, I suddenly have insight for something I didn’t understand yesterday. Or I’m reminded to thank my husband for being the beautiful person he is. Those are the times that life is the best, the times that bring joy and peace.

I’ve been thinking about the church’s role in this LGBTQ debate. I’ve noticed that the church has done immeasurable harm in the culture – most of us involved in this issue can see that clearly. But the church has also done immeasurable good. It has had an impact on producing better lives for people around the world.

How can this entity that is the church be so beautifully life-giving at some points and so toxic at other points? That’s the question I considered on my morning walk.

The answer emerged: when the church is doing what Jesus asked it to do, it is beautiful. It is life. It is joy and peace, and people are drawn to it. When it is helping the needy, defending the week, giving to the poor. It just doesn’t get any better than that. It breathes hope.

Then there’s the other part. When the church is doing what Jesus told it NOT to do. When it is judging, directing, controlling, climbing over the powerless to grab more power. Then it is ugly and deadly.

That’s the issue in the LGBTQ debate. To decide if this is right or wrong, good or evil, we’re doing exactly what Jesus told us in no uncertain terms not to do.

I can see the result of this dichotomy in my own family. The times that I knew for sure what my kids and even my husband needed to do, and I was bound and determined to make sure they do it, it was a deathblow. It’s not my job. Even as their mother, I can only direct them so far, but they are not chess pieces to move around at my will.

Especially as they get past about twelve, they have to have freedom, permission to make their own choices – good or bad ones. But that’s just my children. People who are not my children – like my Rob and the larger community – are not mine to direct and I am dead wrong to try. It’s a power grab. And to grab that power is absolutely wrong.

But the times that I’m really at rest, when I listen to the Spirit tell me to be kind, to call my friend, to let my grown children make a decision I honestly don’t think is best for them – that freedom brings life and peace. (Besides, I could be wrong – it’s happened before.)

To love them and all of my community without condition gives life. It’s exactly our job as Christians.

To insist on our way as Christians in this debate is not what Jesus taught, and it is producing death.

Choose life. Literally, for heaven’s sake, choose life.

christian parents gay child

christian parents of gay children

christians with gay children

freedhearts

gay children

gay Christian

gay christian charity

gay christian community

homosexuality and sin

homosexuality and the bible

homosexuality and the church

how to respond to a gay child

parent of a gay child

parents of gay children

parents of gay kids

Susan Cottrell

to christian parents of gay children

what do you do when your son is gay

what to do if your son is gay

what to do when your son is gay

when your family rejects you

Previous Post

June 2, 2014

Marriage Equality - A Lost Opportunity

Next Post

June 4, 2014 I Am Not Defending My Support of LGBTQ Anymore

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

True or False: In 2 Corinthians, Paul describes himself as having a thorn in the flesh.

Select your answer to see how you score.

FALSE TRUE

Support this
Column