Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Stop Lying To Our Children

Stop Lying To Our Children

Last updated on: April 17, 2014 at 10:16 am by Susan Cottrell

Stop Lying To Our Children 2014-04-17T10:16:19-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

know us by our love

Several close family members no longer speak to me because I write this blog. Don’t feel bad for me – I am honored to taste what many of you have endured for as long as you can remember. But the irony is delicious.

In fact, this is so irrational, I want to make sure I understand it correctly. I’ll write it out, and you – my family, or others – who think I’m wrong and maybe ‘not really a Christian’, you tell me how this makes sense in the real world, and how this aligns with the heart and the message of God.

I embrace the LGBTQ community of people that you’re totally okay condemning and rejecting – and you think I’m the one who should answer for it.

I love these people unconditionally, exactly the way Jesus told us to – but you as a Christian find this unacceptable.

You keep LGBTQ people at arm’s length (you don’t really know gay people as people, only as people you don’t like) – yet you feel qualified to decide their lives (re. marriage, adoption, or even just freedom from harassment).

You would rather rule from a list of precepts rather than looking at real people and real life situations.

I am happy for people to be free to marry someone they love, just as I have married someone I love (and you probably have too), so we can all enjoy the sweet partnership marriage offers.

You believe (or have been told to believe) that two men or two women getting married will somehow wreck the sanctity of marriage overall. (Did we mention divorce or second [or third or fourth] marriages?)

You want to mandate one man/one-woman marriage — which works only for a man and a woman — and when there’s pushback, you cry discrimination and harassment.

You do not welcome gays into your church community (not without certain stipulations) – I welcome them freely to mine, so my church is the one that’s suspect.

You tell me I’m condoning what you determine to be sin, even though Jesus told us not to judge others’ behavior. No, seriously, he says that several times.

But if I point out your lack of love (a clear violation of Jesus’ prime directive), you tell me I’m being vitriolic and I should mind my own business.

Jesus says those who truly love others are the real heroes – and you want nothing to do with them and even work against the love they are conveying.

Jesus says those who judge others are the real villains – and you do exactly what they do and blame others who call you out.

Then you feel all out of sorts, wondering why people are leaving your church. Ironic, isn’t it?

To bring this to a personal level, here’s what I’ve seen in the family and ‘friends’ who have rejected me – your whole view of our beloved Annie has shifted simply because of her orientation. And you think God backs you up.

I gotta tell you, God does not back you up. In fact, you are in complete opposition to the heart of God and his truth.

I say this not just for our Annie. Instead, I say this for the many Annies and Anthonys out there who do not have a defender, who have been rejected and condemned and attacked by their own family. In fact, I write this for all of our children – who have been told that God is all about their behavior and really doesn’t care so much about their hearts.

It is for our children who seek to know God and you hand them religion instead.

They bring their open heart and get a list of rules. They bring their searching questions and receive a flat answer that not only shuts down vulnerability or intellectual authenticity but lacks any luster of God himself.

I spread my wings out wide to cover all these children everywhere, to pull them in close. And I say to you:

Stop lying to our children.

Stop pretending you love them when you condemn them. Stop telling them they can’t hear God for themselves when God clearly says they can. Stop telling them what God thinks of them. Stop saying God is sending them to hell.

Purge yourself of the stench of religion and self-righteous hypocritical religious leaders, and seek the aroma of Jesus.

For the sake of our children.

christian parents gay child

christian parents of gay children

christians with gay children

freedhearts

gay children

gay Christian

gay christian charity

gay christian community

homosexuality and sin

homosexuality and the bible

homosexuality and the church

how to respond to a gay child

parent of a gay child

parents of gay children

parents of gay kids

Susan Cottrell

to christian parents of gay children

what do you do when your son is gay

what to do if your son is gay

what to do when your son is gay

when your family rejects you

Previous Post

April 16, 2014

Don't Fall Off the Edge of the Earth

Next Post

April 18, 2014 Living Gay & Unashamed!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Christian season is marked by purple, penance, and preparation before Easter?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Lent Epiphany Advent Feast of All Saints

Support this
Column