Patheos

BuddhistCatholicContemplativeEvangelicalGeneral ChristianHinduJewishLatter-day SaintMuslimNew VisionsProgressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Patheos

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos Patheos on Facebook Patheos on YouTube

freedhearts

Help! “All You Need Is Love!”

Last updated on: April 11, 2014 at 11:24 am   by Susan Cottrell

Help! “All You Need Is Love!” 2014-04-11T11:24:34-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

love

“Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. It’s easy. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.”- The Beatles

Today is a very emotional and tender post for me as I answer the last part of the letter from a Dad…

I want to understand the true message in your ministry, because I NEED to find my own peace in your message, and many who suffer with this need to find the salvation in your message. There is a strong message of love and acceptance, which is needed for sure, but the message ends there for me. And there is more to it than that; there just has to be. Your message, in stressing the love and acceptance, comes across as acceptance = license; tolerance = allowance; love = permission. This may not be the case, but I’m telling you, in reading your materials intently for the last 3 months, this is what is at least perceived. Intended or not, this result is fundamentally flawed as it is IMPOSSIBLE to align the license, allowance or permission of homosexual behavior with the teaching of Christ as it pertains to metanoia, living a Christ-filled life, and inheriting the Kingdom of Heaven. PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND.
 — Loving my son forever, and weeping for his current pain and ultimate suffering, rejoicing that God’s love is perfect and there is hope through the blood of Jesus. Dad

Here is my answer to him – and to those struggling with the same issue…

Dearest Dad, I understand your heart for your son. Many parents are in your position, wanting to love unconditionally, but desperate to guide their children into the Christ-filled life. But that is exactly it!

The Christ-filled life is not afraid of people living authentic to their sexual identity! The Christ-filled life invites people into who they were designed to be.

Where homosexuality doesn’t fit is in legalistic and rule-based living. Religious teaching and churches that focus on rules must narrow life down to the bare minimum – not spitting on Sunday lest they make a furrow lest they be working and breaking a commandment. Rule-based living wears phylacteries – selected commandments – to represent their attention to the law, though the law is powerless to produce right living! 

Rule-based living produces death.

So where do we go as Christians?

We rest in Jesus… we let the Holy Spirit lead us in all truth… and we love just as he said to love, and let all the rest of the commands line up under that, as he said they would.

This is simple because Christ’s directives are simple. Not easy, but simple! When you’ve been taught forever that homosexuality will send people to hell, it’s hard to rest in Christ when your son is gay. But it really, truly is what he said! He never told us to use the scripture on each other. Never! Jesus is the fulfillment of the law; we must believe what he says about it!

It’s only by turning our understanding of the law upside-down that we’ll get to the heart of it and the freedom for which he set us free! But don’t be afraid of that – Jesus turned the law upside-down every time he opened his mouth! Really, truly.

You said: acceptance = license; tolerance = allowance; love = permission. But all of those conclusions focus on behavior instead of life in Christ. Look at it upside-down and you see that Christ was never concerned about behavior on its own but as it flows from a heart set on him. To look primarily at behavior is to not trust him to lead people as he wants.

I know you love your son. I know all of you with LGBTQ children love them, more than you can express. But your job is not to make sure they’re not gay. It never has been. Countless parents before have proven that will never work. Turn away from religious leaders, pastors, radio & TV show hosts – and even ‘well-meaning friends’ – who inspire fear and shame.

Turn instead to Jesus who offers love. And find support. You are not alone in this struggle. Many others have already been down the journey you are on.

I offer love, you said there has to be more. There isn’t! Love covers it! Jesus said so. Put everything else you know about this aside and look at Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. Ask him to show you and he will! You don’t even have to trust your ability to hear; trust his ability to speak!

It’s a privilege to walk this journey with you. Keep the faith, keep trusting Jesus, and keep your eye focused on him alone. You will be amazed at what he does not only in your beautiful gay child but in you!

Love in Christ,

Susan

 

Family Support

LGBTQ Support

The Real Jesus

Theology

all you need is love

are people born gay?

beatles

bible gay

bible homosexuality

christian parents gay child

christian parents of gay children

christians with gay children

freedhearts

gay children

gay Christian

gay christian charity

gay christian community

gay kids

help my child is gay

homosexuality

homosexuality and sin

homosexuality and the bible

homosexuality and the church

how to respond to a gay child

LGBTQ charity

lgbtq christian

Mom I'm Gay

my child is gay

my daughter is gay

my son is gay

parent of a gay child

parents of gay children

parents of gay kids

Susan Cottrell

to christian parents of gay children

what do you do when your son is gay

what to do if your son is gay

what to do when your son is gay

when your family rejects you

Previous Post



April 10, 2014

Help! "I Love My Son, But He's GAY!?!”

Next Post



April 12, 2014 Jesus Blog: Simple Truths


Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012


Follow Us!

Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter



TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What did David take from Saul's camp while he was sleeping?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Sword and scroll Crown and robe Spear and water jug A sack of gold

Support this
Column

Related posts from FreedHearts

Family

We’re Straight & Queer. Why It Matters.

FreedHearts

Family

Queer. Why It Matters Now More Than Ever.

FreedHearts

Family

The Lie Religion Told You About God —...

FreedHearts

Family

We Are Not the Resistance — We Are...

FreedHearts

TRENDING AT PATHEOS Progressive Christian

Methodist Central Hall and Westminster Abbey

Situated on the same square is Methodist Central Hall and Westminster Abbey. ...

57th Dove Awards Honor Dolly Parton, Crown New...

On gospel music’s biggest night, the 57th annual GMA Dove Awards honored...

The First Eucharistic Controversy: Christ’s Real Presence

For Catholics, the Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian...

What a Stop Sign Can Teach Us About...

How to Make a Decision When You Can't Hear God Main point:...

Archdiocese Hosts Military Marriage Retreat in Germany

RASTATT, Germany — The transient military lifestyle, with its frequent deployments and...

Minted in God's Image

Nearly every morning, I make the drive to Detroit with my high-school-age...

view all Progressive Christian blogs

Patheos on Facebook Patheos on YouTube

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Copyright 2008-2026, Patheos. All rights reserved.

Subscription Support Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In

Follow Patheos Patheos on Facebook Patheos on YouTube