Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
Where Do We Go From Here?

Where Do We Go From Here?

Last updated on: March 31, 2014 at 1:38 pm by Susan Cottrell

Where Do We Go From Here? 2014-03-31T13:38:26-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

wheredowegofromhere

Breathe. A whole year has passed since I came out as the parent of an LGBTQ child and an ally. So much happened, and I still have so much still to say!

First off, I love you. You have meant so much to me – reading, responding, trusting. You’ve told me you’ve felt heard and valued; well, I’ve felt the same way! There’s not much better than that.

Whether you have struggled through the discovery process of your own sexuality, or whether someone you love, like your child, has had to struggle through that process – I have experienced something of what you’re going through. Having walked in your shoes, or walked right next to you as you wear them, I take your hand in mine and say, “Things are getting better!”

Some friends and I have developed a community of Christian women who have learned how to love their LGBTQ children well – non-optional as Christians and mothers – even as they’ve navigated family, friends and church. They have learned that this kind of love, affirmation and acceptance is actually consistent with the truth of their faith. This demographic grows, despite the protest of much of the church, because God is in charge here and not us. God is moving the culture this direction despite the church’s every effort to stop it.

Jesus has righteous anger at self-righteous people who determine who is okay and who is not.

He showed us that anger when he was on earth with us. Still, I have sometimes lacked compassion for unloving and rules-based Christians, and God has had to increase my compassion. (God used you and the beautiful women in my group to do that.)

My beautiful daughter come out as bi to her own and the larger community. People have come out of the woodwork with love and support – which has been incredibly refreshing. On the other hand, I’ve watched people end our friendship, to become “Somebody That I Used to Know” – with rancor on the way out, or else just quietly disappeared. I’ve even received rejection from close family members. The fact that we can’t be friends or even family who agree to disagree is evidence that Christian’s issues here are way out of proportion. Multiply that by a thousand to see what many of you have dealt with most of your lives.

Through it all, I’ve come to believe that the LGBTQ community is one giant opportunity for Christians to learn to love, the one thing God asks us to do.

Where do we go from here?

I believe it’s time to peel back the layers of religion – God loves relationship – but he hates religion. To pull back the layers of our own perspective – fraught with self-interest. To ask God: “How do you want me to love?” We let everything else line up under that, just the way Jesus said — and here. We trust our God instead of ourselves, knowing he’s still got it all going on. If we struggle to trust God, then that’s an issue we need to look at full in the face.

I was incredibly heartened by Ken Wilson in this interview about how he led his congregation on his “path to embracing people who are gay, lesbian and transgendered into the company of Jesus.” Ken had to recognize what his heart was telling him about a group of people who, like all of us, need Jesus. He had to admit that the non-affirming church’s approach wasn’t working. He set aside the mainline answers, and he dug into the Bible for himself. His book, A Letter to My Congregation, was the happy result.

A year ago I had doubts about jumping into this arena; now I am on fire to continue. A year ago I knew few of you; now I am honored to have many LGBTQ friends and allies. A year ago I wondered when I’d run out of things to say; now I feel that I’ve just gotten started!

My voice is stronger and more confident and passionate than ever. Thanks for listening. : )

christian parents gay child

christian parents of gay children

christians with gay children

freedhearts

gay children

gay Christian

gay christian charity

gay christian community

gay kids

help my child is gay

homosexuality

homosexuality and sin

homosexuality and the bible

homosexuality and the church

how to respond to a gay child

parent of a gay child

parents of gay children

parents of gay kids

Susan Cottrell

to christian parents of gay children

what do you do when your son is gay

what to do if your son is gay

what to do when your son is gay

when your family rejects you

Previous Post

March 28, 2014

My Year of Living Dangerously... as a Christian LGBTQ Ally!

Next Post

April 3, 2014 She Needs Her Daddy

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which Christian group is known for door-to-door evangelism and "Watchtower" magazine?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Mennonites Lutherans Jehovah's Witnesses Methodists

Support this
Column