Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Progressive Christian
God’s Babysitters?

God’s Babysitters?

Last updated on: March 13, 2014 at 11:27 am by Susan Cottrell

God’s Babysitters? 2014-03-13T11:27:18-05:00 Susan Cottrell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Kids-Fighting

“Some people find fault like there’s a prize for it.” – Zig Ziglar

I’m baffled at the fervor with which people tell others what God wants for them. It reminds me of my kids.

Rob and I had a full house for many years: two boys and three girls. We regularly left the kids with a babysitter while we escaped, er, went out. It was for our own sanity, okay?? 🙂

When they were old enough, we let them stay at home on their own recognizance. We would put one child in charge, usually one of the older kids, but occasionally the youngest… just to shake things up.

And the stories they would tell when we got home! Whoever was in charge couldn’t wait to tell us of the grievous wrongs their siblings had done in our absence. We finally got a little notebook so the child-in-charge could keep track of the transgressions — really it was so they could let it go and not try to deal with the situation themselves. Not a single infraction escaped their notice, it seemed.

Power can be intoxicating, can’t it?

The hardest part of the whole event was helping the child–in–charge to surrender the grievance. We’re back, we got it, and that child could trust us to deal with the “transgressor” appropriately. Sometimes it took a while for them to make the adjustment. Often they thought severe consequences were in order, like loss of privileges or worse. They struggled if we chose a different route. Or if we decided that something they thought was a transgression was not a transgression at all. They did not understand that we had deep wisdom they did not have. And of course, we didn’t handle things perfectly. But all the kids were in our jurisdiction, not each other’s, and eventually they trusted us to be the parents … (for the most part).

Adults have an even harder time surrendering power. We like to make sure people (other people) are being held accountable. And really, it needs to be as we see fit. We don’t want them to just get a good talking to, when we think the punishment should be more severe.

Many Christians treat other people’s “transgressions” as a personal affront that we must personally remedy. Many Christians believe that being gay is wrong, or that loving, same-sex relationships are wrong, and they think they must speak up. And then not only speak up, but fight against it. Demand that society, or the church, or the workplace, or the family or even just the person take this situation seriously.

We are the child-in-charge who duly noted the transgression and is now plaintively appealing to the returning parents to handle it the way we feel is appropriate. And if that parent is not responding the way we think they should, we rebel, stop trusting, and take matters in our own hands — in our communities, in our families, in our churches.

Nevermind that the returning parent has said, “I got this. You don’t need to worry about it. I hear your plea for what looks right to you. But I have wisdom you don’t. I understand things you don’t. Your job is to trust me. Really — I got it!”

Unlike the returning parent, God never even left the building. Like our children, what we are sure is a terrible grievance God may see a different way. He is indeed sovereign and sees and knows and understands what we do not.

Didn’t God deal with people in surprising ways – even his enemies? Didn’t he deal with down-and-outers more generously than we expected? Did he deal with religious elite more harshly than we expected? We have gotten many social issues wrong, even though they were airtight from our own perspective.

As a society we must deal with certain things to maintain order, and especially to keep all of us safe. But those who feel justified to police others’ behavior, to “enforce God’s will,” have perpetrated brutal assault on the LGBTQ community — directly and indirectly. That whole mindset has caused external, violent attack on the gay community, and it’s caused internal, violent attack of judgment and rejection from those who claim to speak for God. We’re children taking a baseball bat to our siblings — all in the “name of Jesus” — because we don’t trust that God’s got this.

We were explicitly told not to do that.

When kids condemn their siblings and insist on their punishment, it’s not long before siblings treat them with suspicion and contempt.

Suddenly it puts Jesus’ words in a whole new light. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

It’s time to stop babysitting. It is time to trust God. It is time to love others as we have been loved.

christian parents gay child

christian parents of gay children

christians with gay children

freedhearts

gay children

gay Christian

gay christian charity

gay christian community

gay kids

help my child is gay

homosexuality

homosexuality and sin

homosexuality and the bible

homosexuality and the church

how to respond to a gay child

parent of a gay child

parents of gay children

parents of gay kids

Susan Cottrell

to christian parents of gay children

what do you do when your son is gay

what to do if your son is gay

what to do when your son is gay

when your family rejects you

Previous Post

March 12, 2014

My Conversation With a Gay Man in Uganda

Next Post

March 17, 2014 Would St. Patrick Let People Carry A Rainbow Flag?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Church & Religion Dear Susan Family Support Gay Weddings & Marriage GCN Conference Jesus Blog LGBTQ Support Parenting Personal Stories Suicide The Real Jesus Theology Transgender Uncategorized X Archived Posts

Select a Month August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 January 2025 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 June 2022 December 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 May 2019 March 2019 January 2019 November 2018 March 2018 January 2018 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What false teaching did Paul correct in 1 Corinthians 15?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Denial of resurrection Circumcision Animal sacrifice Pagan temple worship

Support this
Column