Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Evangelical
Here’s How to Make New Friends

Here’s How to Make New Friends

Last updated on: March 21, 2016 at 3:48 pm by Frank Viola

Here’s How to Make New Friends 2016-03-21T15:48:54-04:00 Frank Viola

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Today’s post was written by Barry Cram. Enjoy!

—

I love this quote from Helen Keller. “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”

We all have dark times in our lives, and it is nice to have a friend there beside us. Really good friends have weathered a few storms and seen some water under the bridge. Those kinds of friendships take time and commitment. Even through the rough times, true friends sick together.

But what about developing new friendships? How do you make a new friend starting from scratch? The process of making a new friend can be frustrating or daunting if you use a wrong strategy or assume the wrong things. Taking the right initial steps to make a new friend can be a shot in the dark. But it doesn’t have to be!

As you read this blog, I want you to think about two factors: (1) the initial trust/commitment level it takes to make a new friend, and (2) the time frame needed to first establish that friendship.

At first you may think both of these factors need to be high. Conventional wisdom says, “Good friendships need lots of time and lots of trust.” But I am going to suggest that, in the beginning, you do not want invest a lot of time and trust. It seems counter-intuitive, but you do not need a “big time” commitment or trust level to make a new friend. Here are three tips for making a new friend.

Start where you spend most of your time

The first step in making a new friend is meeting new people. The more new people you can meet, the greater the chances of establishing a new friendship with common interests. So where is the best place to meet new people? Begin where you already spend the majority of your time— your neighborhood.

There are many reasons that neighbors down the street or around the block can become new friends. You both already share the same (1) community space (gardens, parks, pools, and streets), (2) concerns/issues (crime and safety), and (3) schools (if you both have kids).

Use social platforms that guarantee face-to-face interaction

Most neighborhood groups have websites or social site you can join—Facebook, Nextdoor, etc.—to subscribe and receive community news. Active communities will advertise community events. If it is a trusted group, subscribe and join these kinds of distribution lists. Also, these community events are planned by social committees that meet nearby. Volunteer to help with one event that interests you. You will meet someone new.

If your neighborhood does not have an association, use community-driven sites like Nextdoor to meet people. I use it because it allows me to communicate with others who are in close proximity. I have personally used Nextdoor to:

Report a stolen bicycle
Give away furniture and textbooks to those in need
Get recommendations when I needed a new fence
Invite our community to neighborhood functions

Each opportunity allows for more and more face-to-face interactions between neighbors. Friendly neighbors are just acquaintances who live really close to you. And acquaintances are potential friends! If the next step is right, time and trust will not be a factor early on.

Find events that require very little commitment and low trust

If you meet a neighbor down the street, understand that the first initial get-togethers should require very little trust and very little commitment. This is very important. Consider this scenario:

I meet a guy who is married with two kids. He loves football and keeps a pretty neat yard. There is enough common interest, but I really do not know him. Which event would I use to get to know him better?

Join the neighborhood walking group (every Tuesday at 7pm)
Host a “Guy Night” (Monday night NFL game at my house)
YardSmart seminar (Saturday from 9a-10a) at the HOA clubhouse
Six-week class on marriage and parenting my church

The answer is C.

The YardSmart seminar is the only one-time event (low commitment) at a neutral location (low trust needed) at a close, familiar place. All of the other examples are (1) group-oriented, (2) last too long, (3) have an on-going commitment, (4) have no ending date, or (5) assume too much trust (inviting someone into your home assumes more trust). In this situation, a few low trust/low commitment events would help me discern if this relationship could turn into a friendship.

Set yourself up to succeed

So, start where you already spend a lot of your time. If you use social media, use the ones that offer face-to-face interaction. And choose the right kind of events up-front. This creates the best atmosphere for you to pursue potential friendships without all the drama, stress, and mess.

—

Barry Cram and his wife, Lisa, live in the DFW area with their three teenagers. He is a recovering former-pastor and occasional blogger. Barry works as a community engagement liaison for a local municipality. He serves and facilitates relationships between neighborhood volunteers, school educators, and nonprofit & faith-based leaders. He keeps his ear to the ground for opportunities to plant the gospel and make disciples in surrounding communities. Barry’s blog site is barrycram.com.

Uncategorized

Previous Post

March 17, 2016

Post Expired

Next Post

March 24, 2016 Paul and Palestinian Judaism

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 June 2026 May 2026 April 2026 March 2026 February 2026 January 2026 December 2025 November 2025 October 2025 September 2025 August 2025 July 2025 June 2025 May 2025 April 2025 March 2025 February 2025 January 2025 December 2024 November 2024 October 2024 September 2024 August 2024 July 2024 June 2024 May 2024 April 2024 March 2024 February 2024 January 2024 December 2023 November 2023 October 2023 September 2023 August 2023 July 2023 June 2023 May 2023 April 2023 March 2023 February 2023 January 2023 December 2022 November 2022 October 2022 September 2022 August 2022 July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 October 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who found Moses' basket in the Nile?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Pharaoh's daughter Zipporah Miriam Jochebed