I like praying in cemeteries

Last updated on: October 31, 2025 at 6:00 am by Fr. Nicholas Sheehy, LC

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I like praying in cemeteries 2025-10-27T23:07:27-07:00 Fr. Nicholas Sheehy, LC

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I like praying in cemeteries. During my formation years in Germany especially, I liked to stop by cemeteries when I was on a hike. We would trek through the countryside and each small town or village had its own small cemetery. I liked walking through the tombstones and looking at the names and dates. A tombstone has an incredible way of summarizing a life in a few basic details. Standing among those markers of lives lived and finished, I often find myself reflecting not on death’s finality, but on the promise hidden within it.

Mystery of Death

The mystery of death challenges us to our core. Today is probably a day when we think about loved ones who have passed away. For me, it is a day that I remember a young woman who in my mind will be “forever 21.” I met Sandy when she was a senior in High School. She was clearly well-liked, but our paths didn’t cross much at first. I had more contact with her brother, who was a couple of years her junior. I probably heard in passing that she had struggled with brain cancer a few years earlier. Later, when I heard her story, I could see that she was a woman who had grown a lot through the suffering.

About a year after she became involved in ministry with me, the cancer came back. It was soul-crushing for her and her family. I was in the habit of sending out voice messages once a week or even more often with little spiritual reflections. She would often write back and we developed a strong spiritual relationship during those months. On November 2, she went home to Jesus. It was one of the hardest pieces of news I have ever received. I remember going to the wake and praying the rosary in front of her casket. I stood there, perhaps in shock. It just seemed wrong, to have a young woman die with so much life ahead of her. In the face of that loss, faith became less of an idea and more of a lifeline.

Soul-Searching

It was something that led to a lot of soul-searching for me, maybe one of the greatest challenges my faith has ever had to face. As we spend All Souls’ Day commemorating the dead, we contemplate the grim reality of death. Every year on All Souls’ Day, I think of Sandy – and through her, I’m reminded how our faith must grapple honestly with the mystery of death. We don’t always have the best, most complete, or satisfying answers. However, we try to bring our faith into play, remembering the words from Jesus in the Gospel.

This is the will of my Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in him may have eternal life, and I shall raise him on the last day (Jn. 6:40).

We don’t have all the answers about death. It is one of the great mysteries of life. In the classical form of baptism, the parents ask for two things: faith and eternal life. This seems to indicate that our current life is an impediment to eternal life.

To live always, without end – this, all things considered, can only be monotonous and ultimately unbearable (Pope Benedict XVI, Spe Salvi, 10).

Forever Young

To live forever in a life like ours is less than ideal, but death always seems like such a frightening prospect. St. Ambrose reflects about how death was not part of nature, but it has become part of our experience of existence. Death is no longer a cause for mourning because it is the cause of mankind’s salvation.

One pious practice that we have as Catholics is to visit a cemetery and to pray for the dead during this week after All Souls’ Day. Maybe many of your families had the tradition to visit family members who have already passed on. But even if you are visiting the tombs of other people, they are worthy of your prayers. While you are there in the cemetery, take the time to reflect on the passing nature of life and look ahead to the life to come. Whenever we face death, we remember that we are called to more because we are made for Heaven.

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About Fr. Nicholas Sheehy, LC

Fr. Nicholas Sheehy is Assistant Chaplain at the Duke Catholic Center. He was ordained a Catholic priest in 2013 for the Legionaries of Christ. You can read more about the author here.

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