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Spiritual Direction: What To Say The First Time

Spiritual Direction: What To Say The First Time

Last updated on: January 15, 2024 at 1:00 am by Fr. Nicholas Sheehy, LC

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Spiritual Direction: What To Say The First Time 2024-01-10T15:15:06-08:00 Fr. Nicholas Sheehy, LC

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Spiritual Direction wakes up a lot of feelings. If this is your first Spiritual Direction, there are a lot of feelings that may be surging up in your heart. You are about to embark on a journey that will hopefully help you gain clarity of what God is asking of you in this moment of your life.

Set Expectations

It is good to take some time to reflect on your initial expectations. These may change over time, but they are helpful for you and your spiritual director. What are you looking for? Why have you sought spiritual direction? What do you know about spiritual direction or the person with whom you are about to meet?

Begin your meeting, speaking about these things. Then, move on to give context about who you are and what your life has been like.

Set the Context

You do not have to share every detail of your past life. Look at what is essential and try to draw a map of who you are and what events have shaped you into the person you are now. Describe your home life, growing up. Is your family united? Was there economic hardship? Were there separations or tragedies that have left a mark in your soul? This helps the spiritual direction to form an initial judgment about what is going on in your soul and understand better how you see God.

Major life decisions

Look at the major life decisions you have made. How have you made these decisions? How have they turned out? By looking at the life you have now, do these decisions make sense. Were they driven by choice or by circumstance? Where is God’s Hand of Providence present in your story?

Signpost at crossing of two trails

Signpost in the Woods | Courtesy of Pixels

Vocational Discernment

Share any experiences you may have had with vocational discernment. It is very helpful to know if you have experimented with religious life. Have you ever thought about becoming a priest or a religious? Have you taken any steps in that direction?

Are there any relationships in your past or present that are important to describe? All of this helps to know you as a person.

Current prayer life

What is your prayer life like right now? Perhaps your prayer life is limited to Sunday Mass. Maybe, you do not go to Mass but spend time in Eucharistic Adoration every week. This is a good thing to share. Do you have any experience of mental prayer? What does it mean for you to pray? Perhaps you feel that worship music is your entrance into the divine. Have you spent sufficient time trying to gain a sense of God in silence, in nature, in the contemplation of God’s infinite goodness?

How much do you know about spiritual life? There are lots of books that can help in getting to know the spiritual life. You might have the great systematic classics, from Garrigou-Lagrange and Tanquerey. Or perhaps, you have read some modern essays on spirituality like Jacques Philippe. Describing your spiritual reading helps your spiritual director know what your spiritual life is like.

Status of Faith Formation

How well-formed are you in your faith? Was Catholic school part of your upbringing? Was Catholic doctrine taught and revered, or explained away? Has there been a systematic preparation for receiving the sacraments, or are you missing sacraments? Are you engaged in a faith group that helps you know your faith?

Spiritual Motivations

What spiritual motivations do you have working in your life? Perhaps you like the idea of being a spiritual person. Or you feel that the best people are spiritual. Do you feel moved by the great mysteries of our faith? Does the Incarnation move you? Perhaps the sight of Jesus on the Cross make you feel like something has to change in your life. This is a sign of spiritual awareness. Does reading the lives of the saints make you want to change radically to correspond to the great graces that God has given you in your life?

Desired Prayer Life

What would you like your prayer life to be like? Some people dream of spending hours in adoration. Others want clarity for action in their life. If you do not really see yourself ever engaging in mental prayer, perhaps you will not really benefit from spiritual direction as much as you are thinking. Because eventually, it is going to be your light and darkness from prayer that you bring to your spiritual director for guidance.

Your spiritual director will help guide you in the initial session. Reflecting first on the ideas in this article will help you prepare yourself to get more out of it. Congratulations for embarking on this challenging, yet rewarding, spiritual journey.

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About Fr. Nicholas Sheehy, LC

Fr. Nicholas Sheehy was ordained a Catholic priest in 2013 for the Legionaries of Christ. He has been involved in youth work including missions, retreats and apostolic outreach in Germany, Italy, the United States and Central America. He is passionate about the New Evangelization and formation for young adults and married couples. He is a spiritual director and retreat director, offering marriage preparation and marriage counseling through the Divine Mercy Clinic and Family Center. He is currently Executive Director and Chaplain of the Newman Center at St. Philip the Apostle Parish in Pasadena, California. You can read more about the author here.

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