{"id":12119,"date":"2024-03-07T22:46:21","date_gmt":"2024-03-07T16:46:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/?p=12119"},"modified":"2024-03-08T02:22:42","modified_gmt":"2024-03-07T20:22:42","slug":"let-them-hex-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/","title":{"rendered":"Let Them Hex Themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u201cLearn, in witchcraft, thou must ever return triple.\u201d \u2013Gerald Gardner<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t give a damn about my bad reputation.\u201d \u2013Joan Jett<\/a><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I was at work<\/a>\u00a0this past Sunday, and I overheard a clutch of customers \u2014 all members of the same social club \u2014 gossiping in stage whispers about an upcoming leather<\/a> competition. According to their breathless take on the situation, one of the contestants was allegedly \u201cdemanding\u201d that other people fill out his application for him. (Intrigue and impropriety!)<\/p>\n

In retrospect, I probably should\u2019ve just kept my mouth shut. But since I happened to know the contestant in question, I elbowed my way into the conversation and explained that all he\u2019d actually done was reach out to a few acquaintances, hoping that someone would be willing to look over his application before he submitted it. And I added that in the end, I was the one tapped to review it. This didn\u2019t sit well with the cowhide-encrusted Heathers on the other side of my counter, but it was in fact the truth, which they could either accept or deny.<\/p>\n

Apparently, they chose the latter. Yesterday morning, I got a phone call from one of my own leather brothers<\/a>, who filled me in on the latest development: The contestant was now being accused of cheating<\/em> on his application. And I had been named as the person helping him cheat.<\/p>\n

Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The veins in my forehead can currently be seen from space. (Image courtesy of Mehrshad Rezaei<\/a>.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n*
** *Never leave a paper trail, y\u2019all. This is my sage advice to you.<\/p>\n

Overall, I can\u2019t bring myself to be too concerned with what people say about me. I mean, if someone needs to paint me as a villain in order to feel better about themself, that\u2019s really more of a \u201cthem\u201d problem. I am, however, extremely protective of my friends, and, under normal circumstances, this is the part where I\u2019d be breaking out the bottles<\/a> and black candles and dank herbs that smell like consequence. But this time around, I don\u2019t have to lift a finger, because the chatterboxes are deep in the process of hexing themselves.<\/p>\n

A hex is the occult equivalent of a head cold \u2014 it won\u2019t take anyone down permanently, but it does need to run its course. Unlike curses<\/a>, which stick around until broken, hexes tend to be temporary, or else they\u2019re one-shot, bringing about a specific unfavorable outcome. Like, the hex is designed to cause a bad thing, the bad thing happens, and after that, the hex peters out.<\/p>\n

So, for instance, if I were going to hex the dudes slandering my friend, I would get hold of three figural candles shaped like snakes, dress them with appropriate oils and ingredients (blackberry, brown mustard, red pepper), light the first candle, then light the other two off of that one. It would be analogous to the Hydra<\/a> in Greek mythology: For every rumor they spread, two rumors would spring up about them.<\/p>\n

Or, since they\u2019re so invested in contests, a classic binding<\/a> would be a good option. I could print out their profile pics, decorate them with the symbol of Saturn<\/a>, tie them up nice and tight with some knot weed and valerian, then bury those bundles at a crossroad. And any competitive endeavors they attempted would be crossed with restrictions, delays, and bad luck.<\/p>\n

Exercise keeps you healthy. Baneful magic keeps you pretty. (Image courtesy of Mehrshad Rezaei<\/a>.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n*
** But I don\u2019t have to do any of these things, because they\u2019re doing a fine job of besmirching their own characters without any assistance on my part.<\/p>\n
** *Reputations within subcultures are hard to scrub off, and from the moment these particular leatherettes swept onto the scene, spilling tea and spinning untruths, they were marked as mean-spirited drama queens. And that is what now precedes them. And while their carefully handcrafted rumor is certainly spreading, it is not doing so in the way they hoped: I made some investigatory phone calls of my own, and what\u2019s currently flying around the national leather community is variations of, \u201cThey\u2019re just stirring up nonsense again.\u201d (Or, my personal favorite, \u201cWait. Didn\u2019t one of them compete last year? Huh. I guess someone\u2019s still bitter.\u201d)<\/p>\n

And y\u2019all, it would tickle me fuchsia to be able to take credit for the misfortunes about to befall them. After all, they tried to hurt my friend, and as Mary Stuart Masterson stated so eloquently in Some Kind of Wonderful<\/em><\/a>, \u201cBreak his heart, I\u2019ll break your face.\u201d But in this situation, there\u2019s not much I could throw at them that they\u2019re not already manifesting. They\u2019ve made themselves known as backstabbers and troublemakers, and they will be written off and forgotten sooner than later. My friend, on the other hand, is presently known as someone who rose above the petty haters trying to pull him down<\/a> to their level. And come the competition, he will be remembered for that.<\/p>\n

And that really is the takeaway here. There are times when hexes and curses are warranted<\/a>, and the targets of those spells undeniably deserve everything that is coming to them. But there are other times \u2014 especially if the asshats involved are hobbled with overconfidence \u2014 when we as witches can skip our chores, slide out of the way, and allow the trash to take itself out.<\/p>\n

Like what you\u2019ve read? You ca<\/em><\/span>n<\/span> buy me a coffee<\/a><\/span> about it. (CashApp<\/a><\/span> and Venmo<\/span><\/a> are always options as well.)<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\nOh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Thumper Forge on Amazon<\/a><\/span>, Bluesky<\/a><\/span>, <\/span><\/em><\/span>Etsy<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/span><\/a>, <\/em><\/span>Facebook<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/span>, <\/span><\/em><\/span>Instagram<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/span>, <\/span><\/em><\/span>Mastodon<\/a><\/em><\/span>, Threads<\/a><\/span>, and <\/span><\/em><\/span>TikTok<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/em><\/span>.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n*The exit is right through the gift shop<\/a><\/span>.<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/h3>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"*******
** *******It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4491,"featured_media":17517,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[353,105],"tags":[6856,1819,7049,7046,1307,5677],"class_list":["post-12119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gender-and-sexual-minorities","category-witchcraft","tag-baneful-magic","tag-gerald-gardner","tag-hex","tag-joan-jett","tag-leather-culture","tag-mehrshad-rezaei"],"yoast_head":"\nLet Them Hex Themselves<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Let Them Hex Themselves\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Fivefold Law\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-03-07T16:46:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-03-07T20:22:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/1390\/2022\/04\/man-gfeeea22e8_1280-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"609\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Thumper Forge\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@FivefoldLaw\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Thumper Forge\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/\",\"name\":\"Let Them Hex Themselves\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2024-03-07T16:46:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-03-07T20:22:42+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#\/schema\/person\/637c721be21db31b037f7e06cce803b3\"},\"description\":\"It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Let Them Hex Themselves\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/\",\"name\":\"Fivefold Law\",\"description\":\"Discordian Witchcraft, Chaos Magic, Traditional Wicca, Geomancy, and the occasional glimpse into 12-Step Recovery from the impertinent perspective of a Post-postmodern Pagan.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#\/schema\/person\/637c721be21db31b037f7e06cce803b3\",\"name\":\"Thumper Forge\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57bdd4fe333e08e6f9c9efc96079056b?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57bdd4fe333e08e6f9c9efc96079056b?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Thumper Forge\"},\"description\":\"Thumper Marjorie Splitfoot Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, an Episkopos of the Dorothy Clutterbuck Memorial Cabal of Laverna Discordia, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public from Houston, TX.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/FivefoldLaw\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/author\/tforge\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Let Them Hex Themselves","description":"It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Let Them Hex Themselves","og_description":"It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/","og_site_name":"Fivefold Law","article_published_time":"2024-03-07T16:46:21+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-03-07T20:22:42+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":609,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/1390\/2022\/04\/man-gfeeea22e8_1280-scaled.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Thumper Forge","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@FivefoldLaw","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Thumper Forge","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/","name":"Let Them Hex Themselves","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#website"},"datePublished":"2024-03-07T16:46:21+00:00","dateModified":"2024-03-07T20:22:42+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#\/schema\/person\/637c721be21db31b037f7e06cce803b3"},"description":"It seems I\u2019ve been named as a person of interest in a local subcultural scandal. Well, gee. I wonder who started that rumor.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/2024\/03\/07\/let-them-hex-themselves\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Let Them Hex Themselves"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/","name":"Fivefold Law","description":"Discordian Witchcraft, Chaos Magic, Traditional Wicca, Geomancy, and the occasional glimpse into 12-Step Recovery from the impertinent perspective of a Post-postmodern Pagan.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#\/schema\/person\/637c721be21db31b037f7e06cce803b3","name":"Thumper Forge","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57bdd4fe333e08e6f9c9efc96079056b?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/57bdd4fe333e08e6f9c9efc96079056b?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","caption":"Thumper Forge"},"description":"Thumper Marjorie Splitfoot Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, an Episkopos of the Dorothy Clutterbuck Memorial Cabal of Laverna Discordia, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public from Houston, TX.","sameAs":["https:\/\/twitter.com\/FivefoldLaw"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/author\/tforge\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4491"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12119\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17517"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/fivefoldlaw\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}*******