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Chaos Magic

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January 2026

January 01, 2026

How to Succeed in Chaos Without Really Trying

Y'all, I may have Discordianed a wee bit too close to the sun.

May 2025

May 25, 2025

Lapsed Lutheran on the Loose at Austin Witchfest 2025

As far as I'm concerned, any Austin Witchfest that starts with me not getting disappeared is...

March 2025

March 23, 2025

Further Tales of Life as a Witch in Retail

If your intuition is telling you that a given situation calls for Witchcraft, trust your...

March 07, 2025

I Promise You Don’t Have to Read Tarot to Be a Witch

The right deck for me is no deck at all.

February 2025

February 28, 2025

Snitches Get Stitches, Heather

I am being encouraged to promote my upcoming book, and my knee-jerk response is, "Come...

November 2024

November 23, 2024

I Hated the Ending of Agatha but Loved How We All Got Gaslit

And frankly? We kind of deserved the bait-and-switch.

October 2024

October 18, 2024

Defining Chaos Witchcraft (Or, Traumatic Wicca Flashbacks)

The word "chaos" offers an allure that "eclectic" does not, and directionless Witches are starting...

July 2024

July 13, 2024

A Midsommar Night’s Dream (Or, Disco Inferno)

It's certainly not the weirdest way Eris has ever reached out to me. And hey,...

April 2024

April 21, 2024

A Warlock with a Bible Has Entered the Chat

As Pagans, we would all do well to keep a Bible around. But only because...

February 2024

February 20, 2024

Chaos Veiling (or, Making Du)

Color me surprised by how quickly things went from "experimentally wearing a hat" to "unpacking...

January 2024

January 27, 2024

And That’s How I Renovated a Psychic Fair

Divination may not be the world's oldest profession, but it is clearly a close second.

December 2023

December 11, 2023

Stealing Magic from a Karen

My familiar and I live across the hall from a textbook Karen, and we've snagged...

October 2023

October 25, 2023

Faster, Red Goblin! Die! Die!

Car trouble. Chaos magic. Italian folk spirits. Business as usual.

July 2023

July 21, 2023

Things You Hear at Mystic South

Some people go to Pagan conferences to collect memories, or inspiration, or souvenirs. Me, though,...

July 03, 2023

Coming Out as a Chaos Warlock

I'm not aware of any chaos magic practitioners who actively describe themselves as warlocks. So...

June 2023

June 30, 2023

Thump and Stang: Witchcraft with Random Weaponry

My athame came from an army surplus store, and my wand looks like something a...

June 26, 2023

Adopting a Chaos Familiar

The familiar assists the witch with their magic, and in return, the witch introduces the...

May 2023

May 23, 2023

All Fails Are Final: Life as a Witch in Retail

Out here in the non-fiction boondocks of customer service, witches are unfortunately stuck playing by...

March 2023

March 10, 2023

Divining the Details: Rise of the Virgo Witch

The Full Moon in Virgo feels like the right time to divulge this information.

November 2022

November 29, 2022

I Am the Kink Witch of TikTok, and I’m Making That Everyone’s Problem

I’ve also got 184 dabloons, if anyone is running low.

August 2022

August 13, 2022

Legit Reasons to Cast Love Spells

All’s Fnord in Love and War.

August 11, 2022

Persephone and the Poultry of the Night

Depression lies, y'all. Don't forget that.

August 04, 2022

Broom Closet Blitz: Getting Outed as a Witch

As much as I love being described as a Dungeons & Dragons character, it's surprisingly...

July 2022

July 14, 2022

Kill the Game: Soccer as a Metaphor for Chaos Magic

Alright, my fellow Chaotes and Discordian Witches: It's time to play some sportsball.

June 2022

June 29, 2022

Eris in the Machine

"There's been a slight change of plans," I said. "Eris is holding my blog hostage,...

June 21, 2022

Just a Stone’s Throw: Chaos Magic Divination

For the purposes of the column, Chaos Magic is defined as an experimental, non-dogmatic approach...

June 11, 2022

I Broke My Job with Sigils, and You Can Too

Hindsight is freaking hilarious, and bad decisions make great stories. As such, I am 100%...

May 2022

May 31, 2022

Scarlet Chaos

If we're looking for a fictional role model on which to base our real-world approaches...

May 18, 2022

How to Rile Up a River Spirit

Trying to bend wily and volatile river spirits to your will is a terrible, terrible...

May 12, 2022

Read to Sludge: Divination, Auto Repair, and Honesty Over Temptation

I never again want to get myself into a situation where I'm second-guessing not swindling...