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August 2022

August 11, 2022

Persephone and the Poultry of the Night

Depression lies, y'all. Don't forget that.

August 04, 2022

Broom Closet Blitz: Getting Outed as a Witch

As much as I love being described as a Dungeons & Dragons character, it's surprisingly...

July 2022

July 31, 2022

Fermented Gods and a Decade of Sober Witchcraft

I spent a big chunk of my life repeatedly sticking a fork in my eye...

July 23, 2022

And Then Devin Hunter Called Me a Sell-Out, Which Means I Have ARRIVED

Taking the first step toward becoming a Pagan author has me reminiscing about the first...

July 21, 2022

Snuffleupagus Wicca

How could they be so callous towards Big Bird's pathos? Why did they need absolute...

July 14, 2022

Kill the Game: Soccer as a Metaphor for Chaos Magic

Alright, my fellow Chaotes and Discordian Witches: It's time to play some sportsball.

July 07, 2022

Becoming Thumper: Microaggressions and Pagan Identity

The name started out as a joke at my expense. But I claimed it and...

July 02, 2022

Queer Pride and Straight Prejudice

It was an extremely hectic but enjoyable Pride Weekend. And I only had to deal...

June 2022

June 29, 2022

Eris in the Machine

"There's been a slight change of plans," I said. "Eris is holding my blog hostage,...

June 26, 2022

Essential Texts for Activist Witches

Witchcraft is historically an instrument of the oppressed. You have access to that instrument. Now...

June 21, 2022

Just a Stone’s Throw: Chaos Magic Divination

For the purposes of the column, Chaos Magic is defined as an experimental, non-dogmatic approach...

June 11, 2022

I Broke My Job with Sigils, and You Can Too

Hindsight is freaking hilarious, and bad decisions make great stories. As such, I am 100%...

June 07, 2022

“Gardnerian Extremist” Is the Name of My New Queercore Band

Ah, yes: The cynical world-weariness that can only exude from a twenty-something Pagan who Knows...

May 2022

May 31, 2022

Scarlet Chaos

If we're looking for a fictional role model on which to base our real-world approaches...

May 28, 2022

All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Baywatch

If a victim gets banged up during an ocean rescue, they can still recover. But...

May 18, 2022

How to Rile Up a River Spirit

Trying to bend wily and volatile river spirits to your will is a terrible, terrible...

May 12, 2022

Read to Sludge: Divination, Auto Repair, and Honesty Over Temptation

I never again want to get myself into a situation where I'm second-guessing not swindling...

May 05, 2022

Wake Me Up Before You Disco: Wokeness in Discordianism

If our anarchy isn't happy, and we're bent on taking anyone's freedom away, then we're...

May 03, 2022

Big Gay Beltane

I wasn't worried about my dad's acceptance, but I was concerned that he might not...

April 2022

April 30, 2022

Guilty Until Proven Slightly Less Guilty (As Above, So Below)

As Eldridge Cleaver said, "You either have to be part of the solution, or you're...

April 28, 2022

Storm Faerywolf Hates James McAvoy: A Discordian Review of The Satyr’s Kiss

Storm Faerywolf can block me on social media, but he can't escape the pyroclastic cloud...

April 25, 2022

The Witchcraft of Being a Notary

People often assume that the stamp makes a document "official." But the reality is that...

April 21, 2022

Shooting the Breeze with Dead Relatives. Like You Do.

My niece loves chatting with her grandmother. The fact that her grandmother died three years...

April 17, 2022

That Feeling When Your Friends Are More Psychic Than You Are

Even those of us who spend our days immersed in the occult tend to freak...

April 12, 2022

Catching the Spirit of Leather

"That wasn't an interview," he said. "It was an audition. You're my new co-host." Thus...

April 08, 2022

By the Pricking of My Thumbs

Nothing is true, and everything is permitted, but trust me on the sunscreen.

April 05, 2022

Big Fish, Small Pond, Brutal Truth

He got it into his head that he wouldn't be taken seriously as a practitioner...

March 2022

March 29, 2022

May the Freak Occurrences Be Ever in Your Favor

Every spell has an impact, but whether that impact is a poke or a shove...

March 27, 2022

I’m Not Like a Regular Wiccan. I’m a Cool Wiccan.

When one believes oneself to be the piece of shit at the center of the...

March 24, 2022

Fertility Symbols and the Witch Who Won’t Stop Hoarding Them

It's me. I am that Witch.