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When the Truth Comes Out (Or, Divindication)

When the Truth Comes Out (Or, Divindication)

Last updated on: February 1, 2025 at 9:38 am by Thumper Forge

When the Truth Comes Out (Or, Divindication) 2025-02-01T09:38:28+06:00 Thumper Forge

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“As for where I get the information — well go figure. But I’m right more often than I’m wrong.” –Rosemary Edghill

“You said I’d have a boyfriend by now.”

“I did?” The woman standing at the entrance of my booth and glaring at me looked familiar, but I do a lot of lithomantic readings at Pixie’s Intent, and sometimes all the faces kind of blend together.

A pleasure to see you, too! (Image courtesy of Dean Lewis.)

“Yes, you did,” she replied. So where is he?”

“Well, let’s see if we can find him,” I said, suddenly remembering our previous interaction. “How did your court case go?”

“It was okay,” she said, taking a seat. “I had to pay more fines than I wanted to, but at least it’s over and done with.”

I breathed a subtle sigh of relief. At the end of her last reading, she’d casually remarked, “Oh, and also, I’ve got a warrant…” and the magic pebbles proclaimed that things would not go in her favor, but that she wouldn’t be taken to jail. If I was right on that call, I figured I was probably not too incorrect about the boyfriend.

I gave the stones a shake and let them fall onto my casting cloth. Jupiter and Love landed right in front of the Indicator, with Venus and Saturn a few inches behind it.

“That’s odd,” I said. “This is suggesting that a love interest is already present, but that there was a breakup in the recent past.”

She was quiet for a few moments. And then she mumbled, “We’re… working some things out.”

In her defense, she wasn’t trying to test my abilities or anything. It’s just that logically, divination shouldn’t work. So when it does, or when it works a little too well, the rational mind immediately tries to poke holes in it. Yes, I’d told her she’d have a boyfriend, but she did not, at this particular moment, have one: Ergo, her brain decided that the reading was not accurate.

“A clock that stands still is sure to point right once in twelve hours.” –Joseph Addison (Image courtesy of Dean Lewis.)

Fortunately, this is not something I’ve had to navigate with any regularity. Most people who book readings are looking for ballpark answers, not specifics — plus, they’re usually comfortable enough with the general occult that they’re not driven to dissect a reading in search of reassuring flaws. Although when I first started offering online readings, I got myself into a scenario involving accuracy that required a lot of tap dancing and customer service skills to get back out of.

A Pagan acquaintance booked a reading, which made me wary, since he was rather known for his Witchier Than Thou worldview. The questions he provided were a little too vague to hone in on (“Will I or won’t I? Show your math.”), which very much was a test, to see if I was as good as people seemed to think I was. But hey, $40 is $40, so I threw the stones, wrote up the reading, and fired it off to him.

He immediately booked a second reading. Apparently, I passed.

The inquiries this time around were full of complexities: He was up for a promotion at work but considering a position with another company, and he wanted to know which was the best option, when he would hear back, how long he should wait before responding, et cetera, along with what to expect from his new supervisor if the promotion came through. It was a lot of information to hash through, but I gave it my best shot. And while I am too lazy to dig through my files don’t remember all of the details, I do recall that the stones said he would in fact get a promotion; it would be a better fit than a job with the other company; and his supervisor would be a woman with authority.

A few days later, he sent me an email, in which he described, quite lovingly, how literally nothing in the reading came true: He did not get the promotion, and the other job was now offering better pay and benefits. How, he wanted to know, was I so painfully mistaken? Would I mind going back over the reading, so that I could explain to him how I ended up so far off course?

When you have to tell fortunes at 3:30 but fight for your life at 4. (Image courtesy of Dean Lewis.)

I was pretty curious about that myself. But before I responded to him, I threw the stones to answer a couple of questions of my own.

Is the querent being honest with me? The Indicator landed much closer to Saturn than Jupiter (the “yes” stone): No, he was not.

Okay, then. Does the querent know he’s not being honest? Once again, the Indicator landed next to Saturn, and Jupiter rolled out of the circle: No, he did not.

With the understanding that dude was either unintentionally withholding information or reacting without full awareness of the situation, I wrote back and apologized for any confusion, asserting that I stood by my interpretation, but acknowledging that divination was never 100% accurate, and in this case, the reading itself just may have been faulty. I suggested waiting a month or so to see how things played out, and if at he was still unsatisfied by then, I would be happy to give him another reading for free.

He agreed, and I never heard back from him. But I did happen to catch one of his Facebook posts after a few weeks had passed, in which he announced that he’d accepted a transfer to a different department, where he’d be working directly with his company’s chief financial officer. She was a lovely person, and he was excited about his new role and responsibilities.

I don’t know if he ever made a connection between the reading and his current circumstances, but it honestly doesn’t bug me if he didn’t. I am glad things worked out well for him, though, and I’m glad I can remain confident in my expertise at throwing rocks on the ground to see the future. In that respect, things worked out well for us both.

*Like what you’ve read? You ca**n buy me a coffee about it. (CashApp and Venmo are always options as well.)*

Oh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Thumper Forge on Bluesky, *Etsy, Instagram**,* Lemon8, Mastadon, Threads, and *TikTok**.*

The exit is right through the gift shop.

Careers, Workplace and Religion

About Thumper

Thumper (Horkos) Marjorie Splitfoot Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, a Discordian chaplain, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public from Houston, TX. Their first book, VIRGO WITCH, co-authored with Ivo Dominguez, Jr., is currently available at open-minded bookstores everywhere. You can read more about the author here.

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When the Truth Comes Out (Or, Divindication)

Like what you’ve read? You ca**n buy me a coffee about it. (CashApp and Venmo are always options as well.)

Oh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Thumper Forge on Bluesky, Etsy, Instagram**, Lemon8, Mastadon, Threads, and TikTok**.

The exit is right through the gift shop.

Which Old Testament prophet confronted King Ahab about worshiping Baal?

*Like what you’ve read? You ca**n buy me a coffee about it. (CashApp and Venmo are always options as well.)*

Oh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Thumper Forge on Bluesky, *Etsy, Instagram**,* Lemon8, Mastadon, Threads, and *TikTok**.*