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Nobody Expects the Irish Extrasensory Perception

Nobody Expects the Irish Extrasensory Perception

Last updated on: March 17, 2023 at 8:56 pm by Thumper Forge

Nobody Expects the Irish Extrasensory Perception 2023-03-17T20:56:58+06:00 Thumper Forge

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Back in the days of my naif Pagan youth, it was generally understood that the legend of St. Patrick chasing the snakes out of Ireland was a metaphor for the oppression of Paganism. And we all felt very strongly about that.

But then, right around the onset of social media, we learned that Christianity had already spread into Ireland well before St. Patrick arrived, and that his legend was probably just an imaginative way to explain why there weren’t any snakes around. Or dragons. Sea monsters, maybe? Something reptilian. It’s been awhile since I’ve looked it up.

Anyway, now we all feel very strongly about that, and every year on St. Patrick’s Day, people share memes to debunk the myth. I don’t really have anything to add to that subject, although my heritage is predominantly Irish, and that is definitely worth celebrating. So instead of trying to deconstruct St. Patrick any further than he already has been, I’m going to share a quick anecdote about the time I’m pretty sure I met a leprechaun.

Storytime! (Image via Pixabay.)

One fine evening, many summers ago, some friends and I decided to check out this underground club in downtown Houston we’d been hearing about. And I mean literally underground — an entrepreneur had located a vast, seedy basement warehouse and converted it into a vast, seedy, gay dancehall. The whole aesthetic was very Cruising, and a lovely, mostly legal time was had by all.

It was 2 a.m. before we knew it, and after last call, we climbed the stairs to the street level. We were standing on a corner and trying to remember where we parked, when this homeless guy huddled under the awning of a nearby office building called out to us.

“Got any change?” he asked. He was kind of short, with a big, bushy red beard, and he was wearing a tan parka with the hood pulled up, which struck me as kind of odd for July.

“I don’t have any cash on me,” I said. “But would you like a cigarette?”

“Sure!” he said. I fished one out of my pack and handed it to him.

You never know where we’re going to pop up. (Image via Pixabay.)

“Thanks, buddy,” he said. “I appreciate it. We Irish, we gotta stick together.”

“Wait… how did you know I was Irish?” I asked. But before he could reply, my friend Casey lumbered over and threw his arms around me.

Casey looked exactly like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, if Wolverine really liked vodka tonics and accidentally broke people’s ribs when he hugged them. A hero at heart, Casey assumed a) that the homeless guy was hassling me, and b) that I needed to be rescued immediately.

“HEY, THUMPER,” he boomed, squeezing the breath out of me. “HOW THE HELL ARE YA, MY OLD PAL? COME WITH ME.” And he dragged me away.

“Wait, no…” I gasped, trying to break free. “The oracle…”

“YOU’RE WELCOME,” he roared with a cheerful grin, his arm still around my neck. “ANYTIME.”

Casey was very proud of himself. (Image via Pixabay.)

And that was it. The homeless guy didn’t mysteriously disappear behind a passing bus, nor did he trail after us and dare me to answer his Riddles Three. But he recognized me as Irish, which had never happened before. It was pretty cool for someone to see that there was more to me than meets the eye. And more to him, too, apparently.

Plus there’s more to March 17: If St. Patrick doesn’t do it for you, today is also the feast of Gertrude of Nivelles, the patron saint of cats, who is definitely worth more attention from Pagans.

And it’s also Sarah’s birthday! If you haven’t already sent her a card, signing up for her newsletters would be a wonderful way to offer happy returns of the day.

*Like what you’ve read? You ca**n buy me a coffee about it. (CashApp and Venmo are always options as well.)*

Oh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Fivefold Law on *Facebook**,* *Instagram**,* Mastodon, *TikTok**, Twitter, YouTube, and* *Zazzle**.*

St. Gertrude of Nivelles

St. Patrick

Wolverine

About Thumper

Thumper (Horkos) Marjorie Splitfoot Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, an Episkopos of the Dorothy Clutterbuck Memorial Cabal of Laverna Discordia, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public from Houston, TX. You can read more about the author here.

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Nobody Expects the Irish Extrasensory Perception

Like what you’ve read? You ca**n buy me a coffee about it. (CashApp and Venmo are always options as well.)

Oh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Fivefold Law on Facebook**, Instagram**, Mastodon, TikTok**, Twitter, YouTube, and Zazzle**.

To whom does Paul say he has become all things so that by all possible means he might save some?

*Like what you’ve read? You ca**n buy me a coffee about it. (CashApp and Venmo are always options as well.)*

Oh, more discord, you say? But of course! Follow Fivefold Law on *Facebook**,* *Instagram**,* Mastodon, *TikTok**, Twitter, YouTube, and* *Zazzle**.*