You’re Just Not as Awesome as You Think. Fostering A Healthier Take on “Self-Esteem”

Last updated on: December 10, 2013 at 10:39 am by Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak

You’re Just Not as Awesome as You Think. Fostering A Healthier Take on “Self-Esteem” 2013-12-10T10:39:37-06:00 Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

It might surprise you coming from a mental health professional, but I’m not a big fan of “self-esteem.” Not that I want anyone to feel badly about themselves. It’s just that what most people think of as “self-esteem” (i.e., telling a child that he is awesome just because he managed to draw breath without tripping over his tongue) isn’t terrifically effective and doesn’t bear terrifically good fruit.

But as much as you hear about self-esteem on children’s television and daytime talk shows, psychologists prefer to talk about “self-efficacy.” Self-efficacy is defined as the good feelings one gets from knowing that one has ability to set and meet personal, emotional, or temporal goals. Knowing I have the power to effect change, to achieve, to identify how to move from how I do feel to how I would like to feel, is an important component of a healthier and more authentic sense of self-esteem.

It is this second type of self-esteem, rooted in self-efficacy, that Dr. Justin Coulson, discusses in this article at the Family Studies Blog (of the Institute for Family Studies). Dr. Coulson is an Australian parenting expert and psychologist (as well as a father of six kids). He notes that the type of self-esteem that you usually think about and that studies usually measure is actually related to risky, violent, and aggressive behavior as well as other problems. As an alternative, Dr. Coulson suggests instilling in kids a healthier form of self-esteem built on doing good things, using their talents, and having a solid relationship with their parents. Its some good stuff. Check it out!

And if you’d like to learn more about raising kids to have a healthy sense of self-esteem (instead of the narcissistic, insidious kind) check out Parenting with Grace: The Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising (almost) Perfect Kids.

Parenting

self-esteem

Previous Post

December 4, 2013

Toward a Theology of Authentic Masculinity

Next Post

December 11, 2013 Are Catholic Families Really Any Different? Should We Be? (Some Points from My Response to the 2014 Extraordinary Synod-- Part I)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Anxiety atheism Attachment Church Conflict Resolution Counseling Depression faith Family forgiveness Gender Happiness Health Humor Marriage Mental Health Mental Illness Mindfulness morality More2Life Radio Parenting Personal Wellness Personality Disorder Popcak Psychology News reconciliation Relationship religion self-help Sexuality Spirituality stress theology of the body Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the youngest friend who rebuked Job and the other friends?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Bildad Elihu Eliphaz Zophar