Kids W/out A Conscience–Where Do They Come From? Next Door.

Last updated on: February 26, 2013 at 2:38 pm by Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak

Kids W/out A Conscience–Where Do They Come From? Next Door. 2013-02-26T14:38:43-06:00 Rachael Popcak and Dr. Gregory Popcak

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As Catholic parents, we are eager to raise truly moral kids; that is, children who can do the right thing, not because we are breathing down their necks, but out of a genuine sense of love and responsibility. When we read news stories of kids doing horrible things like the recent shootings in Connecticut, we wonder “what happened?” and struggle to understand how some kids can grow up without a conscience.

The technical name for “kids without a conscious syndrome” is Radical Attachment Disorder (RAD). It is not caused by genetics or biology. It is caused when a child fails to receive the consistent caregiving and ample affection he needs for the moral and social processing centers of his brain to develop. Reading that, most of you will probably think of levels of neglect consistent with that of a Romanian orphanage. While those conditition certainly qualify as veritable RAD factories, RAD can develop under far less insidious circumstances.

A few other bloggers on Patheos have linked the article, I am Adam Lanza’s Therapist. It is a chilling look at how normal, well-intentioned parents are unwittingly raising conscience-less kids in neighborhoods near you. The author writes,

This is not about blaming anyone. It’s about understanding the infant’s point of view and our evolutionary design to stay with our mothers through our first years. It’s about how important mothers or primary caregivers are. I have heard mothers say, “I didn’t abandon my child. I went to work to pay for her food.” I so understand. Their intentions were noble, but their infant doesn’t understand. She thinks her mother prefers other places and other people more than her….

My son and daughter-in-law just told me of a couple they met that had an infant. When sharing with this couple their plans for parenthood, a vitriolic debate ensued about the Ricki Lake Show on natural childbirth and how to treat an infant. “Infants don’t think,” the couple said. “They don’t care who is taking care of them,” they insisted. “They aren’t smart enough to care until they are older,” both parents argued. I predict they will have a RAD child. At the beginning of every violent person’s life there is some version of neglect, even if not abandonment.

No parent wants to raise an amoral, violent child. Children and parents both deserve better. Getting this message out–that the biological roots of moral reasoning are nurtured in the soil of strong attachment and extravagant affection–is a job that’s especially close to my and Lisa’s heart. That’s why we wrote Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids (2nd Ed. Updated & Expanded). If you’d like to discover what it takes to raise uncommonly loving, responsible, moral kids, from birth to young adulthood, I hope you’ll take a look.

Previous Post

February 26, 2013

40 Days to a Better Marriage Tip--Tues 2/26: Manage Your Transitions

Next Post

February 26, 2013 Catholics & Depression, Anxiety, & Mental/Emotional Illness. What is Your Experience?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Anxiety atheism Attachment Church Conflict Resolution Counseling Depression faith Family forgiveness Gender Happiness Health Humor Marriage Mental Health Mental Illness Mindfulness morality More2Life Radio Parenting Personal Wellness Personality Disorder Popcak Psychology News reconciliation Relationship religion self-help Sexuality Spirituality stress theology of the body Uncategorized

Select a Month June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Satan" mean in Hebrew?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Deceiver Adversary Murderer Destroyer