Trust Me, Church: What I’m Longing for in a New Member Class (and Beyond)

Last updated on: February 3, 2015 at 5:42 pm by Erin Lane

17 Comments

Trust Me, Church: What I’m Longing for in a New Member Class (and Beyond) 2015-02-03T17:42:23+00:00 Erin Lane

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

No one was more surprised than I was to find myself in a new member class after less than a year at my local church. Perhaps it was a result of growing up Catholic that the idea of membership held little appeal; the only benefits appeared to be (1) eligibility for church governing committees and (2) getting to vote for leaders of said governing committees. It’s not that I didn’t consider myself a member of the body of Christ. It was that I didn’t get why this membership needed to be made official beyond baptism or confirmation. Worse yet was the thought of transferring membership among any number of congregations over the course of my life like some serial monogamist. What was the function of a class or a covenant or a pledge to make known a membership that seemed to change so very little?

This is the last of five posts in the “Trust Me” series in which I’ve been lifting up the small ways church leaders can make a big difference in building trust with Millennials. By now you’ve probably figured out that these “micro-resolutions” aren’t rocket science. Nor all they all that different from how trust is built with anyone else. It’s as simple and as hard as being real and living real: being real means our church knows who we are, what we’re about, and where we need help seeing ourselves rightly; living real means our church knows who’s in our neighborhood, what they’re going through, and why we need them in order to thrive. In sum, membership in a local church is the process by which we recognize our shared need for one another.

The popularity of a “new member class” is relatively recent in American Protestantism. In an informal survey, Thom Rainer found the percentage of churches requiring such a class had gone from around 17% in 1997 to as many as 86% of those polled in 2013. It used to be that church membership was synonymous with birth. In medieval Europe, for example, only Jews and Turks were considered to be outside the bounds of church participation. Now, it’s often a one-time decision or a five-class commitment. One consulting book I’ve read suggests churches have two tracks for membership; a quick route for those who don’t have a lot of questions and a longer period of discernment for those like me who have an unending appetite for reflection and a community of practice. My favorite model, though, of a “new member class” comes from the Quaker tradition: prospective members request a Clearness Committee in which they gather with a small group of congregants to recount their journey to belonging. The process is often a formal recognition of a reality long felt rather than a test of one’s allegiance.

At my new member class there wasn’t a lot of real talk about who we were, what we were about, or where we needed this church’s help. There was no real talk about how I was worshipping apart from my husband each week and needed someone to sit with on Sunday mornings. No talk about how I was about gender equity and needed someone to talk feminism with after the male-centric sermons. Nothing about how hard it was for me to trust my needs to be met by any church, any one, who wasn’t God. Instead, the senior pastor led us through a study of church history, denominational polity, and how we could plug-in to the various ministries of the church already in motion. At the end of our fourth class, I wasn’t sure I knew enough about who I was committing to to become a member. They certainly didn’t know much about me.

In the last three years, there’s been a lot of ink spilt on whether Millennials still need the church. I’ve read less about why the church still needs me. More importantly, what I really want to know in a new member class is How is that we belong by our longing for each other? After all, it was God’s own longing for us that caused Jesus to pray “that they may be one as we are one” (John 17:22).

Membership is about maturing into the fullness of belonging in Christ. Maturity, according to the apostle Paul, is inseparable from unity in the church body (Ephesians 4:12-13.) But unity, the kind of unity that models itself on three persons in one Godhead, does not erase the need for each one of us to be seen uniquely. That’s why if I am to join a church, any church, maybe even your church, I need to believe that you want me to belong, not just another member, not just another Millennial, but Erin Lane, grade-A awkward, introverted, and sensitive human being. And when this me is tempted to walk away, go on ahead, and forge the narrow path by herself, I need you to say the following words with some sense of urgency:

“Stay with us.”

And God help me, I’ll try.

Micro-Resolution #5: Invite me to stay. Not just when I first walk in the door and pick-up a bulletin. Not just when I get the courage to sign my name on the pew pad. Not just when I reach across the aisle to shake hands with strangers. Not just when I show up, expectantly, to your new member class. But when after a year and a half, I decide to leave. Then, too.

I promise to do the same for you.

Erin S. Lane is author of Lessons in Belonging from a Church-Going Commitment Phobe and co-editor of Talking Taboo. Confirmed Catholic, raised Charismatic, and married to a Methodist, she facilitates retreats for clergy and congregational leaders through the Center for Courage & Renewal. To find more of her writing, visit www.holyhellions.com.

Trust Me Church

christianity

church

future of christianity

millennials

Previous Post

February 2, 2015

Who or What Is God?

Next Post

February 5, 2015 “Papa, if God wants to bring us peace and light, why did he help the Israelites destroy a city and kill people?”

Recent Comments

17 Comments | Leave a Comment

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advent Author Interviews Battle Over the Body and Blood of Christ Bearing Beauty Book Reviews Christian Education christian spirituallity christianity Christmas Church Church Leadership Contemplation Creation Care Death and Dying Death Penalty Disruptive Change Disruptors Series Easter Education Evolution and Faith Future of Progressive Christianity Gun Violence Health & Wellness Holy Week Interfaith Israel-Palestine Leading Differently Lent LGBTQ Living with Cancer Meditations on the Cross Mental Illness millennials Mimetic Mondays Monday Meditations Movie Reviews New Monasticism Pando Populus Parenting Patheos 10+1 Q&A Series PC(USA) Politics Pop Culture Practical Theology Series Prayer progressive christian Race Relations Reformation religion Religion and Politics Religion in America Rethink Church Social Justice Spirituality Spirituality of the Body Stump a Scholar Technology and Faith Thanksgiving Theodicy Trust Me Church Uncategorized Why I'm Still Christian Youth Ministry

Select a Month December 2025 April 2025 January 2025 September 2023 September 2022 May 2022 February 2022 January 2022 November 2021 October 2021 May 2021 February 2021 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 June 2020 May 2020 March 2020 June 2019 March 2019 January 2019 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What queen led Israel into idol worship with Ahab?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Bathsheba Athaliah Jezebel Vashti