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What If You’re Wandering From God and Don’t Know It?

What If You’re Wandering From God and Don’t Know It?

Last updated on: August 27, 2026 at 11:25 am by Teresa Devine

What If You’re Wandering From God and Don’t Know It? 2026-08-27T11:25:57-04:00 Teresa Devine

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What if wandering doesn’t always look like walking away from God? | Image created in ChatGPT by the author.

Mary believes in God.

So does David.

Neither would describe themselves as wandering.

That’s part of the problem.

When we think about someone wandering from God, we tend to imagine the obvious. Someone who walked away from church. Rejected Christianity. Stopped praying. Maybe they openly question whether God even exists.

But what if wandering doesn’t always look like walking away from God?

What if it can look like building a successful, respectable, even enviable life in which we rarely need Him?

Meet Mary

Mary is accomplished, intelligent and strong.

She knows how to walk into a room and command attention. She has built a successful career, developed tremendous personal discipline and learned how to take care of herself.

People admire her confidence.

What they don’t see is the armor.

Mary has been hurt deeply enough to learn an important lesson: don’t let people get too close.

Her armor has been constructed over years, welded together with disappointment, resentment, heartbreak, bad decisions, shame and words she still remembers long after the people who spoke them have forgotten.

She wears it well.

From the outside, it can look like strength.

Inside, it’s heavy.

Mary carries her heart on her sleeve until someone gets close enough to see the vulnerable parts of it. Then the vault closes.

Betray her? You’re done.

Disappoint her badly enough? You’re out.

Show too much weakness or pettiness? She has little patience for it.

Mary’s internal philosophy is fairly simple:

You get one shot at knowing me. If you blow it, you’re done.

She’s proud of her independence.

She doesn’t need anyone.

At least that’s what she tells herself.

Mary has become exceptionally good at protecting Mary.

And by worldly standards, much of what she has accomplished looks admirable. She’s resilient. Successful. Professional. Sharp. She has learned personal mastery.

But somewhere along the way, self-mastery became self-reliance.

Mary believes in God. She may even attend church on Sunday. She can speak well of Him and probably knows some Bible verses.

But if she’s honest, much of what she knows about God has come from other people.

Sermons.

Podcasts.

Books.

Social media.

Other Christians.

She has spent surprisingly little time discovering Him through His Word.

So Mary has constructed an understanding of God much the same way she has constructed the rest of her life: piece by piece, using information she has gathered along the way.

And that means some of Mary’s principles aren’t aligned with God’s way.

They are worldly viewpoints wearing Christian clothing.

She doesn’t know the difference.

Mary isn’t a bad person.

She’s wounded.

She’s guarded.

She’s capable of tremendous love and possesses gifts that could deeply impact other people.

But some of those gifts remain paralyzed beneath the pain she has spent years learning to manage.

Mary isn’t running away from God.

She’s simply learned how to live without depending on Him.

Do you relate with Mary? Check out Facing The Mind Trap

Now Meet David

David is a good man.

Ask the people around him and that’s probably what they’ll tell you.

He’s responsible. Hardworking. Successful.

He’s been married a long time. He’s stayed with his family through difficult seasons. He works hard to provide for them.

And he has done pretty well.

There’s the Mercedes.

The lake house.

The boat.

The motorcycle.

The latest gadgets.

Maybe your version of David has different toys, but you get the picture.

David knows how to accomplish things.

Work makes sense to him.

Put a problem in front of him and he can solve it. Give him a goal and he’ll chase it. Give him a difficult quarter and he’ll work longer hours.

Success provides something David desperately needs.

Evidence that he’s doing okay.

But when work stops and life gets quiet, things become more complicated.

His marriage isn’t what it used to be.

Sometimes he thinks about those early years with his wife. The passion. The romance. The excitement of building a life together.

Where did that go?

Now there are responsibilities, frustrations, disagreements and expectations.

When home becomes difficult, work becomes convenient.

There’s always another meeting.

Another project.

Another business trip.

Another problem someone desperately needs David to solve.

And solving business problems feels considerably easier than solving the problems waiting at home.

David wouldn’t call it escape.

He would call it responsibility.

Eventually, even work travel loses some of its appeal.

He wants things to be better with his wife. He talks with friends about marriage. They trade stories and advice, trying to figure out what women want and why relationships become so complicated.

It never occurs to David that perhaps the One who designed marriage might have something to say about it.

David believes in God.

But he doesn’t really know Him.

And because he doesn’t know Him, David doesn’t know enough about God to realize what he’s missing.

So he keeps searching.

More accomplishment.

More stuff.

More success.

More excitement.

More something.

He just isn’t sure what the something is.

And slowly, almost imperceptibly, life becomes a routine of existence rather than the abundant life he once imagined.

David isn’t running away from God either.

He’s simply built a life centered around almost everything except Him.

Maybe Wandering Looks Different Than We Think

It would be easy for me to stand outside Mary and David’s lives and point out everything they’re getting wrong.

But I can’t.

I’ve wandered too.

My wandering just looked different.

There was a time when I believed purpose had to involve doing something significant for God. Corporate America couldn’t possibly be as meaningful as serving people in poverty, could it?

I traveled to Africa four times.

Surely that was purpose.

I searched for the big thing God wanted me to do while missing something far more fundamental.

God wasn’t primarily interested in giving me an impressive assignment.

He was forming me.

And eventually He brought me back to words I had read many times before.

A religious leader asked Jesus which commandment mattered most.

Jesus’ answer wasn’t complicated.

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

And love your neighbor as yourself.

That’s Mark 12:28–31.

For years I had been asking some version of:

What am I supposed to do with my life?

Jesus was answering a different question:

Who are you becoming?

That distinction changed the way I understand purpose.

And it changed the way I think about wandering.

Look Again at Mary and David

Consider Mary’s heart, soul, mind and strength.

Her mind is sharp, but what has been forming it?

Her strength is impressive, but upon whose strength is she ultimately relying?

Her heart is protected behind walls built from years of disappointment, but has she allowed God into the places she’s protecting?

Her soul carries wounds she has learned to manage, but what might happen if she surrendered them?

Now consider David.

His strength goes into his career.

His mind goes toward solving problems.

His heart longs for the marriage and intimacy he remembers.

His soul searches for satisfaction through achievement, possessions, distraction and success.

None of those things are inherently bad.

That’s what makes wandering so difficult to recognize.

A career isn’t bad.

Success isn’t bad.

A beautiful home isn’t bad.

Strength isn’t bad.

Independence isn’t bad.

Achievement isn’t bad.

But good things make terrible gods.

And we can spend decades giving our heart, soul, mind and strength to everything Jesus never asked us to worship.

That’s the tragedy of Mary and David.

Not that they’re terrible people.

They’re not.

It’s that they could spend their entire lives using the very heart, soul, mind and strength God gave them while barely knowing the One who gave it.

Could You Be a Wandering Christian?

That’s a harder question than it sounds.

Because wandering Christians don’t necessarily look lost.

Sometimes we look incredibly successful.

We go to work.

Raise families.

Build careers.

Take vacations.

Buy houses.

Attend church.

Give money.

Help people.

Call ourselves good people.

And by worldly standards, we probably are.

Meanwhile, God can slowly become a supporting character in a life supposedly surrendered to Him.

We consult friends before Scripture.

We consume hours of media and struggle to spend fifteen minutes in God’s Word.

We ask God to bless decisions we never asked Him to guide.

We justify behaviors we already feel convicted about.

We carry old wounds while becoming increasingly skilled at hiding them.

We strive.

We accumulate.

We compare.

We resent.

We protect.

We perform.

And then we wonder why something still feels missing.

Maybe the question isn’t simply whether you believe in God.

Mary believes.

David believes.

I believed during my wandering seasons too.

Perhaps the better question is:

Is God actually forming the way I live?

My heart.

My soul.

My mind.

My strength.

My relationships.

My career.

My money.

My wounds.

My ambitions.

My decisions.

My definition of success.

That’s a very different question.

And it may reveal things we’d rather not see.

But that’s not condemnation.

It’s an invitation.

Because recognizing that we’ve wandered isn’t the end of the story.

It’s how we begin finding our way home.

Maybe today doesn’t require a new program, another book, a dramatic life change or a promise that you’re going to become a better Christian.

Maybe it begins somewhere much quieter.

Open God’s Word.

Sit with Him.

And ask:

God, what has been forming my heart, soul, mind and strength besides You?

Then be willing to hear the answer.

Mary isn’t beyond God’s reach.

Neither is David.

Neither are you.

Neither am I.

We may wander.

But God is still inviting us home.

Are you aligned with God? Take FREE Quiz

Progressive Christian

About Teresa Devine

Teresa Devine is former Fortune 500 Executive helping busy Christians amplify their spiritual growth and impact. She is the CEO of Teresa Devine Co. LLC and creator of 24/7 Purpose® Academy. Teresa is a 4x certified Christian coach. She is also a Christian writer, and professional Christian speaker. As a floundering Christian for decades, Teresa searched for ways to foster Christian development. After coming up short, she created a proven method to help activate and amplify spiritual development for the busiest Christians. Teresa has helped numerous people get unstuck and on track from folks in addiction recovery to Fortune 500 Company Executives and everyone in between. Fabric of Faith promotes self-reflection aligned with practical ways to weave Christianity into daily life. With an emphasis on career and the workplace, Teresa brings a unique perspective as a former corporate executive you won’t want to miss. To learn more, visit TeresaDevine.com. You can read more about the author here.

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