Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

EVOLUTIONARY POWER

Home

Home
New Visions
Depression’s elegy

Depression’s elegy

Last updated on: August 12, 2014 at 9:33 am by Julie Colwell

Depression’s elegy 2014-08-12T09:33:05-05:00 Julie Colwell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Robin Williams, our beloved cultural jester, gone by his own hand. How could this be?

For those of us who have struggled with the mighty darkness of depression, hearing about Williams’ suicide is shocking but not surprising. We know about inner monsters, about how full of toxicity the stream of the inner voice can be.

I have no idea what Williams’ journey was like. It sounds tortuously unending, in how the promise of new tomorrows appeared to be interrupted by the reality of how he experienced each moment. As a psychologist and a recovered depressed person, however, I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned about facing into the darkness. I use the below list as rules for living, ladders that I know now I can climb when I fall back into the pit.

#1: DEPRESSING YOUR FEELINGS CREATES DEPRESSION

I first read this revolutionary idea in Cheri Huber’s The Depression Book (later re-released as Being Present in the Darkness). I had no idea that my emotions had anything to do with my depression, which now seems quite bizarre in the face of having had years of therapy and having been to graduate school in clinical psychology. Now I can see how my flatness of being has everything to do with the anger, fear, sadness–and joy, and sexuality–that I hadn’t been willing to actually experience in my body.

#2: FEELING YOUR FEELINGS IS THE ANTIDOTE TO DEPRESSION

The corollary to #1, being willing to fully experience the complete cycle of your feelings in your body allows your inner experience to flow on through.

#3: ANYBODY GETS TO FEEL ANYTHING, ANY TIME, FOR ANY REASON

There is no emotion that is valid or invalid. What is happening in your body–the clench of anger in the jaw, the tightness of fear in the belly, the pain in the heart of sorrow, the sizzle of life energy of sexuality and joy–all of these are your birthright. You get to feel them. Any time. For any reason.

#4: SOMETIMES GETTING DEPRESSED IS A SIGNAL THAT YOU NEED REST

Depression is reliable for its impulse to stay inside, to isolate and just stop. If I notice any signs of depression now, I take them seriously as signals that my body needs to sleep more, to stop relating to the outside, and to look within for what my body is trying to tell me.

#5: DON’T BELIEVE YOUR MIND

I have said many times that my real job is to help people lose their minds. “The mind does not wish the best for you”, said Gail Kali, a dear teacher. Our thoughts only reflect our emotional state. Believing them is like listening to a drunk on the street. Some of it might be useful; all of it is to be questioned.

#6: IF YOUR THOUGHTS AREN’T LOVING AND KIND, FOCUS ONLY ON SHIFTING YOUR EMOTIONS

Since thoughts reflect emotions that are stuck in the body, if you want to change your thoughts, focus on moving the emotions through. Shift moves like breathing, moving, appreciating, wondering, and playing will support this flow.

This rule is particularly important if your thoughts are self-destructive. If you want to hurt yourself in any way (including through addictions, over-exercise, eating poorly, not resting, overworking, or any other way of treating yourself that is not kind and compassionate), your work is in simply allowing the energy of emotions to move through your body.

We have lost a beloved man. Let us honor his life, and his death, by learning what we can about how to be with our own darkness and to fully embrace what it has to offer us–in life.

Watch for my new book, The Relationship Skills Workbook: A Do-it-Yourself Guide to a Thriving Relationship, due to be coming out October 1st! (Click here for pre-order information.)

Previous Post

July 18, 2014

The scourge of blame

Next Post

August 19, 2014 Bark, Growl and Wimper!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Appreciation Authenticity Blame Blog Highlight Classes Co-Creativity Communication Creative Brain Creative Brain Communication Creativity Emotions Energy Essence Events Evolutionary power Generosity Health Inner Map Inspiration Integrity Love Manifestation News Podcast Presencing Reactive Brain Real Power Relationships S.E.W. Self-hate, self-love Taking responsibility Transparency Triangle Trust Unarguable truth Uncategorized video Workshops

Select a Month November 2017 October 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 January 2016 October 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 January 2014 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 May 2010 April 2010 January 2010 August 2009 February 2009 December 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 April 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How old was Jesus when He started His public ministry?

Select your answer to see how you score.

About 12 About 21 About 30 About 50