“What happened to the zing?”

Last updated on: July 10, 2012 at 4:18 pm by Julie Colwell

“What happened to the zing?” 2012-07-10T16:18:42-05:00 Julie Colwell

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I was just in Madison, Wisconsin, at the National Women’s Music Festival, where I taught some workshops on catalyzing conscious relationships. Since we were in a swanky hotel, I decided it would be fun to have a happy hour chat. Nine of us sat around doing a q+a about relationships.

When one woman asked this question, the others leaned forward, straining to hear my response. “What happened to the zing?” she wondered. “It was there at the beginning–where did it go?”

I paused, knowing that this was the question that was on everyone’s mind. It’s the zing, the oomph, the hubba-hubba that gets us into relationships–so where does it go?

I asked her some questions. Like–how long have they been together (7 years), how do they do money (her partner makes the money, decides what to do with it), whose house is it (her partner’s). As we talked, I could see how much support they offered each other, feel the love between them. They held hands and exchanged loving looks. And yet–where was the zing?

Then I said it. The thing. “Power differences show up in how energy is allotted. If you’re not combining all of your energies–your money, your time, your physical energy, your creativity–the zing is going to go. Combining energies into pure co-creativity erases the power issues and brings the zing back.”

This statement caused a stir. The couples around me, even the currently single ones sat upright. Instantly people were arguing with me, defending their choices. Certainly they could keep control over what the flow of their personal resources and keep the zing; it was just about finding the right person.

I appreciate the passion of the conversation and the willingness of these folks to ask the hard questions about relationship. I love how these salt-of-the-earth Midwestern women were willing to spend their time learning new tools and opening to ideas from a person from Boulder, Colorado.

And still, I declare again what I’ve seen and experienced, both personally and with hundreds of couples : The zing comes from being met by a partner in the vulnerability of giving up control, speaking the truth, finding a place of connection beyond the familiar. If you want passion, aliveness, newness, discovery–consciously combine your energetic resources and let go into the slipstream of life. Zing can be reignited right here, right now. And its twin is risk.

Authenticity

Co-Creativity

Communication

Creative Brain Communication

Previous Post

June 29, 2012

Announcing the RIDE Program!

Next Post

July 21, 2012 A response to the theatre shootings

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Appreciation Authenticity Blame Blog Highlight Classes Co-Creativity Communication Creative Brain Creative Brain Communication Creativity Emotions Energy Essence Events Evolutionary power Generosity Health Inner Map Inspiration Integrity Love Manifestation News Podcast Presencing Reactive Brain Real Power Relationships S.E.W. Self-hate, self-love Taking responsibility Transparency Triangle Trust Unarguable truth Uncategorized video Workshops

Select a Month November 2017 October 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 January 2016 October 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 January 2014 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 May 2010 April 2010 January 2010 August 2009 February 2009 December 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 April 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What Christian group refers to their main worship service as "Mass"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Presbyterians Methodists Catholics Baptists