Some grace for the CT Dude #TakeDownThatPost

Last updated on: June 17, 2014 at 1:48 pm by Grace Sandra

Some grace for the CT Dude #TakeDownThatPost 2014-06-17T13:48:14-04:00 Grace Sandra

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****Added: I wanted to say more about the “why” of what I said below, so I shot a quick video to do so since my kiddos are here & I didn’t have the time to write it all out eloquently. I posted a “quick” (15 minute—oops) to my Facebook page.****

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Hey CT Dude. I wrote a Facebook status in honor of you today. Yes, I said, IN HONOR. Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING God made and loves.

“I’ve been decidedly quiet on the #TakeDownThatPost fiasco. My “role” as abuse survivor has always been the “abuser protector.” I protected, defended & argued for my Dad for many years even as he sat in prison for his crimes against me. That is what abuse does to kids brains, we all know that. We blame ourselves. Thankfully, counseling and wise people can drag us out of that. The rub for me about the CT article was that a bunch of people went into attack mode against the abuser, not merely his article. (So. Basically I mentally stepped in front of him to protect yet another abuser)…which is confusing to say the least. (PLEASE HEAR ME ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONFUSION).

There’s a time and a place for grace and forgiveness…and I realized it wasn’t time for me to stand on a soapbox of preachiness about how it’s time the world forgives child abusers. And for the most part, I agree with the fact that the post was taken down & after reading all the critiques of his original article, I agree, I agree. But….

I just…. I just still struggle when hordes of Christians go on the attack for sins and addictions and crimes and battles they themselves have never fought…or even been tempted by. Because, y’all it’s TOO easy judge what you’ve never faced it. It’s too damn easy. If you’ve never been wrangled down to the ground by sexual addictions, pornography & other battles of a sexual nature just be quiet for a little while. Take a breather. Step back for a minute, because you do not understand those of us who have lived through this type of ongoing abuse & who have fought these types of battles in a way that allows you to siphon your anger enough to say things in a loving way.

I’ve never been tempted to do the things this man did, however, I’m also not going to bash his head in either for writing an article. He’s serving his time…it sounds like he’s trying to face his sins and his crimes before God and country & even to explore his vulnerability by writing about it. He needs more therapy, yes. He needs more ownership, yes. This man needs some help now AND when he gets out. Bottom line. Are his critics going to be there? No? Okay, then shut the hell up.

I don’t know why I want to find a place in my heart for grace for child abusers given what I went through myself, but I do. I absolutely 100% do. I could fight with myself about that or I could just let this man know that I have grace for him…and I understand what it means to fall hard and fast from glory and grace and the “hand of fellowship.” I’d want him to know he fucked up majorly, but so have I. I HAVE FALLEN in ways I NEVA-EVA thought possible. And, just like him, I want to know that my particular battles and temptations are forgiveable and redeemable and even *gasp* write-able. And that it’s okay to still be in process and to still need more therapy, and to still be confused by your sins and crimes and addictions and battles. And that God is still there and available and loving and forgiving and kind and mostly I just want let him know that even though the whole Christian internet blew up in his damn face, there’s a few of us, even the abused, who just AINT GOT THE DAMN TIME OR ENERGY OR WHERE-WITH-ALL to judge or hate someone when we know we are only held within God’s mighty grace & 2 steps (maybe 1) away from our own destruction and disasters. So, press on! Don’t give up. He may be confused now in a way he might not be in 12 months.

I wanted the article down, yes. He needs more time. But I’m also not willing to be part of ganging up on him. I’ve never been part of the bullying crowd and I never will be… I don’t care what he did. Because NO ONE can convince me that every single human being on this planet does not have it within them to do EXACTLY what he did and worse. I know I do, I aint TRYIN’ to perpetrate, y’all.

Jesus was not jokin’ with that whole “let he without sin cast the 1st stone.” He wasn’t.

I’m every bit as f*cked up as that dude, it just doesn’t present the same way.

So. You can call me confused and needing more therapy (and you’d be right) but I will not be dissuaded to stand on the side of grace. I will not be moved from that.

If that is what God has given me IN ABUNDANCE, then who the freak do I think I am to with hold?

Can’t even.

So. Dude. Keep yo ass in counseling. Serve your time. Keep ya head up. You’ll get through this. God’s grace abounds for even you.”

I’ve said it before, grace is messy & COSTLY.

Abuse Survivor

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