Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Everyday Black Matters

Home
Progressive Christian
37 Birthday Pearls

37 Birthday Pearls

Last updated on: December 30, 2013 at 12:05 am by Grace Sandra

37 Birthday Pearls 2013-12-30T00:05:27-04:00 Grace Sandra

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Today, I am 37. How woefully late thirties of me. Last year I wrote 36 Birthday Pearls. This year I decided to repost & add one new pearl of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way.

1. People are hurting, err on the side of kindness. If they aren’t now, they will be soon. So many of us, so often in misery taken out by life’s brutal curve balls. Your kindness can make all the difference in the world. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind.

When you tweet, when you blog, when you visit family, when you come home to a cranky spouse, when you change a diaper, when you are in traffic, when you are on your period, when your cat pisses on your shirt, when you have no words for the exasperation you are feeling….no matter what, be kind. Play nice.

2. Always have hope, preferably in Jesus. Beg, borrow or steal if you have to, but maintain a steady supply. Or, like me, you could get it tatted on your hand for a handy -pun intended- constant reminder.

3. It is no one’s job but your own to inspire yourself to grow as a human being. Overall growth as a life goal is implied.

4. Just because you are a good writer, a clean house-keeper, an “A” student, a loving wife, a long-suffering husband, a conventionally pretty or handsome person, a hard worker, a middle-class person, a wonderful speaker/teacher/trainer/blogger, or _____ or ______ or _____ it does not make you better than anyone else. As soon as you possibly can, get over yourself and value others no matter what they have or don’t.

5. Jesus is legit. 2 legit 2 quit. Sorry. I could. not. resist the Hammer. As I was saying, in Jesus, I have found life to the full! He is worth getting to know.

6. The Bible is an amazing book that is majorly confusing and deserves a lot of time and attention to understand well. Study it often, study it through study guides. Better yet, study it with others.

7. Everyone -all 7 billion of us- are racist (sexist/ageist, etc.) Embrace that you will always find a reason to assume you’re better than someone else. Explore the reasons why you choose to live in that ignorance and try as best you can to believe the truth. The alternative is the choice to live in superficial ignorance & privilege. All 7 billion of us mugs are blight with sinful pride showing up most often in racism, ethnic tension & wars. Own it in yourself first. Acknowledge it. Be better than it.

8. Read. Read. Read.

9. Live to your full potential. Your motives for doing so will likely always be a mix of selfish ambition and selfless service to others.

10. Decide to embrace tension. Life is too complex to force into simplicity. A life worth living is rife with tension. For example, see #9.

11. Be vulnerable with at least 1 person, but shoot for 3-5. An inner circle is vitally important. Additionally, get a mentor. And if you can swing it, a counselor & a Spiritual Director too.

12. Marriage is the hardest fracking thing you will likely ever do besides parenting. I’ve never hurt more or done anything harder than the consistent choice to love Dave the way he deserves day after day after day for almost 14 years…and to face myself when I don’t. Enter in slowly. Respect the power of covenant.

13. God absolutely loves poor people, ugly people, sick people, displaced people, emotionally abused people, mentally-ill people, train-wrecks, immigrants & even homophobes. You should to. Your love should be tangible. If you are wealthy enough to read this post from your own private computer or smartphone, one tangible way to love the downtrodden must be financial in addition to whatever non-financial acts of service you feel called to. Even if you are on food stamps, you should be financially giving to the poor. There is hardly an excuse I could tolerate if you live in a 1st world country and are not in some way financially serving the poor. The poor will always be with us, so please don’t give me any “I don’t have any resources or opportunity” tomfoolery.

14. God cares more about what you do with your coins than your loins. See #6.

15. Dream big, but don’t step on others trying to achieve it. See #1.

16. Seek wisdom often. Read Proverbs 31 daily reading the chapter number that corresponds with the date of the month. Warning: after 17 times through the book, you’ll need a break.

17. If you live in America, when you pass an African-American man look him directly in his eyes and say hello or smile. You have no idea how many people find it easier to fear and stereotype them rather than give my brothers the respect and dignity they deserve as human beings. See #1.

18. Children are the most vulnerable population on our planet and they deserve respect, love and honor. In my humble opinion, this includes children who are not yet born. All children deserve to be protected. Loved. Cherished. Respected. See #1.

19. You’re not likely to flourish without taking some risks.

20. When in an airport, go out of your way to help those traveling with small children through the security line or boarding the plane. Especially weary Mom’s traveling alone with children, the car seat, the stroller & the diaper bag. If you have a free hand, there is no excuse people. None. Trust me, they want your help. See #1.

21. In general, don’t ever pass up an opportunity to help someone physically in your presence. See #1.

22. Whether it will take 5 min.’s or 5 years decide that you will, one day, forgive those who have deeply wounded you. That includes yourself. On both fronts.

23. Give grace to the humble, rebuke to the proud. There is a time and place for everything under the sun. Rebuke, though harder to give out, is absolutely necessary and quite effective when given in love.

24. Don’t allow passive aggressive folks to go unchecked. Shockingly, they respond well and often change. If you allow a passive aggressive person to continue to carry out their crazy and affect your life, that’s on you, Playah.

25. Great leaders, great people, great change agents ALWAYS have accountability. Never eva, eva, eva let yourself get to a place where no one can put you in your place when you act like a crazy, hot, wild mess. Even the best fall down sometimes.

26. Try not to assume what major aspects of life are going to be like: marriage, parenting, the pursuit of wealth, dream jobs, health, etc. Instead, plan for the worse, hope for the best.

27. How you treat those who can do nothing for you says a lot about your character.

28. Have character & seek integrity. If you are in need of either, ask God for it.

29. When floundering in life, start with your physical health. It is the one thing you can control in small ways each day which will improve your mood, give you the satisfaction of meeting goals, teach you discipline, endurance & restore pride in yourself when all else is lost.

30. If you need help and support that are currently lacking among friends and family members, go see a Therapist. There is no shame in getting the help you need. None. Also, anti-depressants? YESSSSSSSS.

Me? I’ve been on & off counseling since 1998. If I hadn’t been in therapy you may find me today on the side of the road wearin’ my finest hooker gear. You think I’m kidding? Nope. Serious as cancer.

31. Don’t rush mourning. Mourning is necessary. There are many stages to mourning, each deserves time and space. Don’t cover over mourning, don’t drink, eat or shop mourning. Don’t sex, porn or otherwise fritter away precious time to mourn. In this life, there will be hardship whether it’s for Sandy Hook kids, Michael Jackson or your own personal hell, mourn it on out, babe. Mourn that ‘ish out!

32. Take a Sabbath, for all that is good in the entire world, claim one day a week to rest. Take a break from work (yes, even the work you love) & cleaning (yes, even the cleaning that needs to be done). Do that which is a break from your normal routine and rest. Not legalistically. Jesus couldn’t have made it more clear: Sabbath was made for people, not the other way around.

33. Embrace spiritual disciplines. Prayer is my favorite. Fasting is my least.

34. Every time you see a sunset, a group of ducklings waddling behind their Mama or a beautiful mountainous overhang…audibly thank God. Acknowledge his artistic expressions, made for us.

35. Choose to be resilient, flexible & consistently optimistic. The most influential people in all humanity possessed these qualities in abundance.

36. Let your “yes” be “yes” and your “no” mean “no.” What if you were forced to follow through on everything you’ve said “yes” to? Everything from lunch with a friend to staying married while unhappy? Would you think more clearly about what you agreed to if your life depended on your follow through? If you agreed to it, promised it, than do it. Also, you may need to say “yes” less often.

37. Your mistakes don’t define you. Your tragedies don’t define you. The power of the human spirit is much more resilient than any of us realize. You can make it through this. You will make it through us. My assurance comes only from my deepest core belief that God. loves. us. Sees us. Longs to be gracious to us. Has his eye on us. I keep pressing on, pressing in…because…each year, 37 so far, He’s never failed me yet.

I don’t know much, y’all. But I do know these few things. Here’s to another year!

////

As a birthday present to me. I’d love for you to introduce yourself via the comments!

1. Where are you from?

2. How old are you?

3. What is one life lesson you’ve learned in this past year.

Make my birthday a better one & come out of hiding lurkers! =)

My Life

Previous Post

December 24, 2013

What Makes My Christmas Merry

Next Post

December 31, 2013 Fatherlessness

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Abuse Survivor African Americans Black Campus Ministries Blogging Books Celebrities Depression Detroit Divorce Dreams entrepreneurialista Family Fashion Fashion & Hair Fashion Finds Fashion Tips Fitness & Body Love For You Girly-Girl Giveaways! Goal Setting Hair Adventures Home Human Trafficking Humor & Fun InterVarsity iphone Apps iphoneography Leadership Marriage Memoir Mentoring Movies Music My Faith My Life My Pregnant Life My Weight Watcher's Journey Netizen One Word Opinion Parenting Photography Policy Politics Pop Culture Product Reviews Race & Ethnicity Racism Ransom Rhys Second Marriage Self Leadership Social Justice Social Media Spiritual Disciplines T.V. Uncategorized Western Theological Seminary What I Wore What I Wore Wednesday Writing Writing Tips

Select a Month May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 December 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 April 2016 March 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz