Black Women, Please – Can We Fix This?

Last updated on: October 12, 2009 at 11:11 pm by Grace Sandra

Black Women, Please – Can We Fix This? 2009-10-12T23:11:54-04:00 Grace Sandra

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One of my fave blogs is Black Girl with Long Hair. It’s fun, inspirational & downright helpful for a gal like me with a lot of thick, curly hair.

However, today’s post included an interview from a web-designer/blogger/illustrator which included this design she made:

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This is redonkulously annoying! Not to mention unfair.

You know what this says to me? It says, “black girls who choose to wear their hair with a perm, or a weave don’t love themselves.”

C’mon, seriously? Are you kidding me? Does getting a perm or pressing your hair say you don’t love yourself? What on freaking earth? Why do pro-naturals judge us so harshly? I don’t ever (& will ever) rush to judge why you choose to only go natural, rather I support you.

This picture & that overall attitude shows absolutely no progress to me in helping black women love each other. For some reason this doggone hair issue has us pitted up against each other & I hate it. I hate it, I hate it.

For whatever reason, black girls who are very pro-natural have nothing but judgement for those of us who choose to perm, press, bump or weave. (If your white, male or new to the issue, these types can be compared to the strictly pro-breastfeeeding ladies –where there is no room for formula or you must be a bad mother). So, I’m a bad black girl if I press my hair in this line of thinking. It just annoys me.

My middle-of-the-line stance is that black women can look beautiful in so many hairstyles, and it’s a matter of choice, $ & convenience what you choose to do.

I wear my hair in whatever way is most convenient & generally the cheapest for me to maintain due to my absolute brokeness right now. I get perms when my hair is long b/c it’s 90% easier to maintain then when I’m all natural. Right now I’m all natural & honest to blog, it’s a pain in the neck.

I have never in all my life with every black girl I’ve ever met, ever, ever ever, met a black girl who has articulated in any way that she just hates herself and wants to be a like a white girl & so chooses to wear her hair straight. Give me a break! And even if there are a few out there like that, why do the rest of us get thrown into the “we don’t love ourselves” bucket. arrghgh!

I’m basically demanding that all black women out here treat each other better on this issue & quit judging each other & start celebrating that we have so many wonderful style’s to choose from.

I’m tired of the pro-natural group harassing us non-natural-100%-of-the-time types.

Leave me alone.

I’ll get my perms when I feel like it. I’ll get my hair pressed when I can afford it. I’ll get my weave when I go on vacation. I’ll wear my hair natural when I have the time & energy to devote to it. I’ll do whatever style I feel beautiful in. I hope you will too! There should be no pressure. This isn’t life or death for crying out loud.

Most of all, I’ll do what I doggone please with my hair & expect that pro-natural black women will be mature enough not to presume to articulate for me what my motives must be.

In love & truth,

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p.s. After I see Chris Rock’s doc I’ll write a review & perhaps a less emotive post. I am curious if any of you have ever felt this same type of judgement over your pressed hair? Or if any of you “100% natural” types will explain your position…

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October 13, 2009 Black Women, Please Can We Fix This? Part 2

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