Should Men Mentor Women?

Last updated on: May 1, 2018 at 6:18 am by Michael F. Bird

Should Men Mentor Women? 2018-04-09T05:51:40-04:00 Michael F. Bird

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Over at Missio Alliance, Karina Kreminski has a great article on Should Men Mentor Women Ever After the #MeToo?

At one level this should not be a problem, since men teach, coach, and train women all over the place, in various contexts, and this should be normal. However, I must say, that I am drop dead paranoid about avoiding any situation where I can ever be accused of harassing a female student. The mere accusation of impropriety or harassment is enough to destroy one’s career. While I will give a male student a man hug when appropriate, female students only get high fives or fist bumps (and truth be told, none of my female students are particularly disappointed by this restriction). While I will happily meet a male student one-on-one in a bar or cafe, I’d never do that with a female student unless its a very public place. I feel completely at ease with a male student in my office, but I prefer to meet with female students in open areas or with people within earshot. I spent my fortieth birthday in Las Vegas, speaking at a Christian college and visiting some churches, before heading off to SBL, and I had with me one of my male doctoral students as a companion for the whole Vegas trip, and it was great fun. But I would never consider the possibility of taking a female doctoral student with me for such a weekend trip.

I want to train, mentor, and encourage women in ministry, leadership, and academia. At the same time conceding that my relationship with male mentorees will be different than with female mentorees. Mentoring women should be effective but I can’t help but think that the relationship will never be completely equivalent to how I relate to male students (i.e. I’m not scared of them accusing me of sexually harassing them). The key things to remember is that it is not just a gender difference, I am in a position of power and authority over my students, it is those two factors combined – gender and power – that means one must proceed with caution.

My takeaway is that men should mentor and encourage women, but we need to recognize that we will relate slightly differently to our male and female mentorees. One should insist on boundaries so that men and their female mentorees feel comfortable and nobody feels vulnerable. Every Paul needs his Timothy and his Thecla.

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