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20 Questions to Ask Before an Interfaith Marriage, Not After

20 Questions to Ask Before an Interfaith Marriage, Not After

Last updated on: September 16, 2026 at 8:40 pm by Dr. Dilip Amin

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20 Questions to Ask Before an Interfaith Marriage, Not After 2026-09-16T20:40:39-07:00 Dr. Dilip Amin

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Four questions every interfaith couple should discuss before marriage:

Conversion. Will either partner be expected to convert — now or in the future?
Religious practice. Will each partner be free to practice their own faith? How will holidays, worship, traditions and religious identity be handled?
Children. What religion, if any, will your children follow? Who will make those decisions?
Family, separation and divorce. How might religious expectations affect your relationship with both families — and what happens if the marriage later ends?

These conversations can be uncomfortable before marriage. They can become much more difficult after marriage.

Why this guidance

Love brings people together. Understanding helps them build a life together.

Interfaith relationships can be loving, respectful and successful. But couples sometimes discover after marriage that they had very different assumptions about religion, children or family expectations.

The purpose of this article is to create a safe, respectful and fact-based conversation, so that both partners can understand what they are agreeing to.

You don’t have to decide now. Today, you do need to understand the questions.

These above four questions are the starting point. For couples who want to explore the issues more deeply, here are 20 specific questions to discuss before marriage.

20 Questions to Ask Before an Interfaith Marriage, Not After

If you are in a Dharmic–Abrahamic relationship—for example, Hindu, Jain, Buddhist or Sikh with someone who is Jewish, Christian or Muslim—these are important questions to discuss before marriage, rather than after.

Love is important, but marriage also involves religion, family expectations, children, traditions and daily life.

Before making a commitment, ask your partner to discuss these questions with their parents and, where appropriate, their religious or community leaders. This is important because an individual’s answer may change when family or religious expectations become involved.

Marriage and Conversion

Conversion
Is there any expectation that either partner will convert for the marriage? Could there be pressure or coercion to convert after marriage?
Marriage ceremony
What marriage rituals will we follow? Will we have one religious ceremony, two religious ceremonies, or a secular ceremony?
Religious agreements
Will either family or religious institution expect a written religious agreement—such as a Shahadah, Ketubah, church agreement or other document—that could influence our married life?

Religious Life at Home

Practicing our faiths
Will both partners be free to practice their respective religions at home? Will either religion place restrictions on the other?
Religious symbols and practices
Can we display religious items such as a murti, cross, menorah, a photo of kaaba or other symbols? Will daily puja, aarti, prayer or namaz be welcomed in our home?
Religious holidays
Which religious holidays will we celebrate, and how will we decide which traditions to follow?
Holidays with families
How will we divide time between our families during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Diwali, Eid, Hanukkah and other important holidays?
Role of parents and extended family
What role will each set of parents have in our married life? How often will we (they) visit them (us)? Will they bring their religious practices or expectations into our home?
Food and dietary practices
What dietary practices will we follow? Will our home be vegetarian, kosher or halal? Will we keep beef, eggs or alcohol in the house?
Clothing and appearance
Will either partner have expectations about wearing—or not wearing—a sari, bindi, hijab, turban or other religious or cultural clothing?

Religion of Children

Circumcision
Considering there is no compelling scientific merit to circumcision, will our sons be circumcised for religious reasons?
Children’s names
What names will we give our children? Will their names reflect one religion, both traditions, or neither?
Religious ceremonies
Will our children have ceremonies such as christening, baptism, bris, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Shahadah, Sunat, Namakarana or other religious rites?
Religious education
Will we teach our children about both religions? Which religious tradition, if any, will be considered their primary faith? Will one parent’s religion be treated as less important?
Raising children in two religions
Can our children be raised with meaningful exposure to both faiths? If not, why not?
Time devoted to religion
How much time will our children spend each week in religious education, worship, classes or community activities?

Religious Institutions and Community

Religious participation
Will either partner be expected to attend a religious institution on a regular schedule? If so, how will we balance participation in both communities?
Financial contributions
Will we make regular financial contributions to religious institutions? In some cases it could be 3-12% of our gross income. If so, what amount is expected, and how will we decide whether contributions should be made to one or both communities?
Equality in marriage
Will there be genuine 50-50 equality between the two faith traditions in our married life? Will either partner eventually be expected to give up, minimize or subordinate their religious identity?

End-of-Life Rituals

Death and funeral practices
If one of us or our child dies, will the person be cremated or buried? Which religious funeral and end-of-life rituals will be followed?

One final thought

These questions are not intended to discourage interfaith marriage. They are intended to encourage couples to have difficult conversations before marriage, when there is still time to understand differences, negotiate expectations and make informed choices together.

The goal is not to eliminate every difference. The goal is to know what those differences are and to agree on how you will handle them before they become sources of conflict.

These questions grew out of my work with Global Spiritual Care in helping couples and families navigate interfaith marriage. For readers who would like to learn more about this approach, additional information is available on this interfaith-marriage resource page.

Specific Religion Related FAQ

10+10 Questions to Hindu-Muslim Couples

11 FAQs for Hindu-Christian couples

10 FAQs for Hindu-Jewish Couples

10 Keys to a Successful Interfaith Marriage

15 FAQs on Interfaith Marriage

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About Dr. Dilip Amin

Dr. Dilip Amin is the founder of Interfaithshaadi.org and HinduSpeakers.org. Dr. Amin is Director of the Peninsula Multifaith Coalition of the San Francisco Bay area. He is a Dharma Ambassador and on the Advisory Committee at the Hindu American Foundation. He is a jail chaplain and a Columnist at Patheos. He is a faculty member at Hindu University of America. Dr. Amin has guided 1200 youth in interfaith relationships over the past 18 years and has summarized his experiences in several books: Hindu Vivaha Samskara, Interfaith Marriage-Share & Respect with Equality and Hindu-Muslim Marriage: Difficulties and Reconciliations. His books are translated in Hindi, Bengali and Malayalam. You can read more about the author here.

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