Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Home
Muslim
Family, Parenting and Religion
Does One of Us Have to Change Religions to Marry?

Does One of Us Have to Change Religions to Marry?

Last updated on: November 10, 2026 at 5:44 pm by Dr. Dilip Amin

0 Comments

Does One of Us Have to Change Religions to Marry? 2026-11-10T17:44:53-08:00 Dr. Dilip Amin

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Twenty Years of Listening to Interfaith Couples

A couple can spend years getting to know each other and still arrive at their wedding plans with a question neither has asked aloud: Does one of us have to change religions for us to get married? A second question may wait even longer: What will we teach our children about the faith each of us grew up with?

I began working with people in interfaith relationships in May 2006. Twenty years later, those questions still come up. When I ask myself what kept me going, I think of the people who trusted me with questions they had trouble asking at home. I also think of the ones who wrote back, sometimes years later, to tell me what those conversations had meant to them.

The Stories a Wedding Registry Cannot Tell

Over two decades, InterfaithShaadi has grown to about 1,300 public posts. Separately, I have offered guidance to more than 400 couples and parents by email, WhatsApp, or in person. I have written five books and hundreds of articles, including 35 for Patheos, and produced about 500 videos. My YouTube channel has drawn approximately six million views, and I have spoken about interfaith marriage in several countries. I did this work entirely on a nonprofit basis, driven by a sincere desire to help others. InterfaithShaadi

In one study, I examined 910 selected entries in a Macy’s wedding registry. Using names as clues to religious background, I classified roughly 38 percent as pairings across the boundaries of the Dharmic traditions represented in the sample. The registry offers a glimpse of one group of prospective weddings. To estimate how common interfaith marriage is among Hindus, Muslims, or other communities today, we would need representative research that asks both partners how they identify. My Patheos article on the registry study

A wedding registry captures couples who expect to marry. Most of the stories that have stayed with me came from people whose weddings never happened.

The Pain That Stays Private

Two people who meet in college may enjoy discovering each other’s traditions. Years later, as they plan a wedding, they may encounter expectations from parents or religious institutions that neither anticipated. A question about who will perform the ceremony can become a question about conversion. After the wedding, decisions about religion of children can reopen questions the couple thought they had settled.

The accounts collected on InterfaithShaadi show how much can be hidden when friends hear only that a couple broke up. One contributor described three years of depression and suicidal thoughts. Another described both partners sinking into depression. One person feared that their parents would refuse to accept the relationship and wrote that both partners were considering suicide. A married contributor described despair after a spouse used a religious label to demean them. Others wrote about self-harm or reported a partner’s suicide attempt. The accounts came from several kinds of interfaith relationships, including Hindu–Muslim, Hindu–Christian, and Sikh–Muslim relationships. InterfaithShaadi’s collection of accounts

A few entries record recovery or progress toward it. For most, the collection leaves the outcome unknown. These are personal accounts of distress, with circumstances that differ from one person to another. Hearing from young people in that much pain was one of the hardest parts of my work. Sometimes the immediate thing I could offer was to listen. Someone in serious distress deserves qualified mental health support. Those conversations also made me want to reach couples earlier, while they still had time to talk through difficult questions without a wedding date approaching.

What People Told Me Afterward

The endorsements on InterfaithShaadi are only part of the record. I did not keep every note over the years, but the ones I saved show how differently a conversation can help. Bittu said that being asked questions helped clear their head by giving them a chance to think aloud. Kathy, a Catholic reader, found encouragement in the fact that someone had taken the time to respond. A Muslim reader used the forum to think through both the challenges and the benefits of interfaith marriage. Aishwarya wished she had found the material three or four years earlier. Geet wrote back two years later to say she was at peace with her decision. I was grateful she came back to tell me. Reader endorsements on InterfaithShaadi

My book, Interfaith Marriage: Share and Respect with Equality, had a rating of 4.7 out of 5 stars from 63 ratings in my October 28, 2026 review record. One reader valued the questions the book gives couples to discuss before marriage. Another singled out the questionnaires and examples about religious traditions and raising children. A Hindu priest who had officiated at many interfaith weddings appreciated the attention to conflicts that can surface after the ceremony. A Muslim reviewer found the personal stories worth reading and challenged my treatment of some Quranic passages, pointing to teachings about justice and the treatment of spouses. Both the encouragement and the specific criticism have given me reasons to keep writing. Amazon listing and reader reviews

What Equality Asks of a Couple

I write at Patheos under the theme Equality for Happiness because I hope couples can practice equality at home. I would like families and religious institutions to stop making conversion a condition of marriage. Choosing a new faith is a matter of conscience. So is choosing to keep the faith one already practices.

I also hope more couples will give their children a genuine opportunity to know both traditions. A child might hear stories from both sides of the family, celebrate with both sets of grandparents, and ask questions without feeling disloyal to either parent. That kind of pluralism asks adults to give up the expectation that one faith must prevail at home. It gives children room to develop convictions of their own.

The Work Ahead

The young people who asked for help gave me a reason to begin. Those who wrote back helped me see what was worth continuing. Their messages showed me that a question asked early, or time spent listening when someone felt alone, could matter long after the conversation ended.

I hope religious leaders, parents, and experienced couples will start their own initiatives to help other interfaith couples. A clergy member can make time to meet with a couple before they begin planning the ceremony. Parents can listen to what their children are trying to tell them before setting conditions. Couples who have worked through these questions can share what helped and what they wish they had discussed sooner. I would like the next generation to have more places to turn while they still have time to think together about the home they want to build.

Authors other articles

20 Questions to Ask Before an Interfaith Marriage, Not After

Myth: I Converted by My Choice for Interfaith Marriage

Conversion for Marriage

10 Keys to a Successful Interfaith Marriage

15 FAQs on Interfaith Marriage

Muslim

Hindu

Relationships and Religion

About Dilip Amin, Ph. D.

Dr. Dilip Amin is the founder of Interfaithshaadi.org and HinduSpeakers.org. Dr. Amin is Director of the Peninsula Multifaith Coalition of the San Francisco Bay area. He is a Dharma Ambassador and on the Advisory Committee at the Hindu American Foundation. He is a jail chaplain and a Columnist at Patheos. He is a faculty member at Hindu University of America. Dr. Amin has guided 1300 youth in interfaith relationships over the past 19 years and has summarized his experiences in several books: Hindu Vivaha Samskara, Interfaith Marriage-Share & Respect with Equality (also published in Malayalam) and Hindu-Muslim Marriage: Difficulties and Reconciliations (also in Hindi). You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

October 22, 2026

10% or 38%? Counting Hindu - American Interfaith Marriages