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Sit with me in the I don’t know

Sit with me in the I don’t know

Last updated on: May 5, 2015 at 10:54 pm by Anita Brown

Sit with me in the I don’t know 2015-05-05T22:54:37-05:00 Anita Brown

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Does the weight of the world lie heavy on your shoulders most days these past few weeks? I wrote many drafts for this month’s blog post on topics such as

my first experience at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in support of a friend celebrating 6 years sober
how mindfulness practice can quickly ease the inner voice of resistance
my inspiring experience at the Transform Network DC conference on urban transformation.

But ultimately, I’ve decided that the timing isn’t right to offer my thoughts on these today. And so I sit and I cry…a lot. I feel the pain of our world’s groaning toward reconciliation. The distress and suffering of my loved ones in their grief and fear bring me to my knees. And so I pray, write, practice and teach yoga, centering prayer, cook for my family and walk my dog in the woods.

We must each ask ourselves the question: what am I doing in my corner of the world to encourage peace and love to flourish?

Is my art and poetry seeking to surrender to the life force power GREATER in me?

Where am I being dishonest about my own prejudices and how can I open my heart to see with new eyes and hear with new ears?

May we humbly recognize our limited view from our small self. When we devote our whole self to serve the highest good with the intention to love on a daily basis, we just might hear HIM say in our hearts:

I DO IT ALL FOR YOU. ALL OF THIS, I HAVE DONE FOR YOU.

Sit with me in the I don’t know

i don’t know what the words mean
and i don’t know
if they matter.

this is suddenly so shocking
i may just topple,
like a rooted oak
recently struck
by a great bolt of lightening
and beginning its inevitable
descent.
into
what?
the earth of course,
where it first began its
journey to greatness
as an inconsequential
acorn, containing all the
instructions
for magnificence.

imagine
the end of communication
as we know it.

yet i feel so attached
to
those
words.
the ones that ring true in my spirit.

i love the way they roll off my tongue:
embody
delicious
serendipity.

my word is my bond
whatever that means…

but what if…
what if
what i really needed
was to release
the words and their
groaning.
to set the prisoners free!

to express my deepest feelings-
right from the pit
of
me.
i would not verbalize
any longer.
i’d just quit talking and
get right to the
doing.

i’d be left with
bear hugs
and divine gazes,
long, sultry kisses,
rich sighs and
toothy smiles.
pregnant pauses
filled with pure potential.

i’d be left with
B R E A T H:
fully inspirational inhales
emptying exhales
replete with surrender.

oh,
and
deep listening.
i’d be all ears.
because there’s still a lot
i don’t know.

and i can’t possibly know
if i continue on,
talking
and writing
writing
and talking.

won’t you
sit with me?

Contemplative Spirituality

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