Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Emergent Village

Home
Progressive Christian
On Healing and Recovery

On Healing and Recovery

Last updated on: September 12, 2014 at 8:41 pm by Marg Herder

On Healing and Recovery 2014-09-12T20:41:58-05:00 Marg Herder

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Great crowds came to him, bringing the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute and many others, and laid them at his feet; and he healed them. — Matthew 15:30 (NIV)

Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. – Steps Two and Seven of the 12 steps

Several weeks ago I attended a charismatic worship service. As the musicians played, expertly modulating the spiritual energy in the room, as the liturgical dancers danced with flags and ribbons, as the crowd, arms up, singing and swaying, pressed forward seeking healing from their Source, the ministers of the Word moved among them, praying and touching, before gently lowering the shaking bodies of the healed to the ground. There they lay, as others knelt and guarded them, held them, cried over them until the shaking stopped. Those encircling them moved away only after the eyes of the one healed had opened, wide with the understanding they had been made new by the Holy Spirit.

It was not my first time attending a service like this. But it was my first time in many years, and my first time attending while being aware of a certain desperate need for healing within my own self. I was too self-conscious to walk to the front of the room. I stood in place and watched, tears filling my eyes as I silently prayed that someday I would be courageous enough to let go of my own judgment, to let go of my own cynicism, and give myself over to the mystery and miracle of that type of certainty in God’s immediate healing power.

Since then I’ve thought of this experience frequently. I’ve wondered how those who lay shaking on the floor emerged from the church that day. I’ve considered what might have changed in their lives. I’ve thought about going back, alone, and walking to the front of that room. Looking in the eyes of a minister as she prays fervently, confidently, for my healing, holding my head in her hands.

I’ve thought about being overcome and gently being laid on the ground. I’ve thought about those who would pray over me. I’ve thought about awakening with new eyes to see and new ears to hear.

I’ve thought about what life would be like for me if my brain were instantly rewired by this experience. If suddenly I were “well,” and my troubled thinking became what I have heard referred to as “perfect in Christ Jesus.”

I imagine I would no longer suffer from the sadness and traumas I’ve experienced in this life. I imagine I would no longer struggle with my internalized homophobia, the self-loathing that is constantly reinforced by some Christians and other religious people who take every opportunity to denounce and denigrate me. I imagine I would feel confident about my right to claim my own unique place on the gender continuum, not within the imposed gender binary. I imagine I would no longer be so emotionally sensitive, and never again would I lose myself to tidal waves of tangled feelings that break over me and cause me to lose awareness of my very self.

I imagine I would never feel the need to reach for another numbing agent, not drugs, or drink, or food, or work, or sharp objects.

I want to be the one “from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus’ feet, dressed and in [hir] right mind.” (Luke 8:35 NIV)

I want to be healed in a few minutes. I want this for me.

Isn’t that supposed to be what happens if we really believe? Isn’t that how the truly faithful are restored? Isn’t that the reward for having enough faith in God’s omnipotence and the redemptive power of Christ/Sophia and the Living Word?

But this is not my experience. Nor is it the experience of millions upon millions of us who struggle daily with addictions and mental health issues. For years we walked through life expecting something magnificent to happen, some magnanimous soul to come to our aid, and touch us, instantly causing everything to pivot on an unseen axis. In the place where we stood broken only moments before would stand a new person, no longer sick and stuck and facing a life that is utterly unmanageable.

I’ll wait to hear from the one or two people for whom this actually happened. The people who were healed in an instant and were able to walk away having been made new. Who are sure it could happen to any of us, if only we are good enough Christians, and have enough faith.

In the meantime, I’ll explain to you that the rest of us have had to find another way. The rest of us have had to become humbled and humiliated enough to surrender ourselves to a life-long process called recovery. The rest of us are sitting in the offices of treasured therapists, or are drinking coffee in folding chairs in a church basement, or are on the phone with trusted friends and others in recovery. The rest of us are celebrating days clean, sober, or injury free. The rest of us are listening intently to each other, trying to hear the words meant to keep us from giving up on ourselves, again. The rest of us are praying prayers of surrender and serenity each day of our lives.

The rest of us are betting our lives on the fact that healing looks very different, for most people, than just reaching out and touching His cloak.

September is National Recovery Month in the US. For more information click here.

For more information on 12 step programs click here.

For online 12 step meetings available nearly any place in the world, at any time of day, click here (StepChat) or here (RecoveryChat).

Previous Post

September 12, 2014

Soren Kierkegaard: The First Emergent Thinker? (Part One)

Next Post

September 14, 2014 Authenticity and Community

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Addiction Advent Atheism Authority Bible Cartoons Christian Year Christmas church church planting Civil Rights Community Contemplative Spirituality Culture emerging church Empire Eschatology Evangelism Events Gender Healing Humanism Islam Justice Kingdom Lent Movement Building Multi-Faith Music mysticism New Wave Emergence origins Personal Poetry politics Prayer Preaching Privilege Racism Religious naturalism Resurrection salvation SKEPTIMERGENT Theology Trauma Uncategorized

Select a Month December 2017 November 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "El Shaddai" mean?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Prince of Peace Provider God Almighty God is Judge