Here at the End of all Things

Last updated on: July 20, 2015 at 5:25 am by David Russell Mosley

Here at the End of all Things 2015-07-20T05:25:21-04:00 David Russell Mosley

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David Russell Mosley

A joke title page for my thesis made by a friend.

Ordinary Time

Margaret of Antioch

20 July 2015

The Edge of Elfland

Beeston, Nottinghamshire

Dear Friends and Family,

I sit here in the Humanities Building four hours before my viva waiting. It has been nearly four years since my wife and I got on a plane for England, not knowing what life would bring us. These four years working on my PhD, changing my thesis topic five times and my supervisors once, growing in our marriage, becoming parents of twins, becoming parents of a cancer patient, moving back to America have felt like a whole life’s worth of experiences. It feels almost as though we’ve lived one life all the way through, from the beginning, and now, this viva is it’s conclusion.

Toward the end of The Return of the King after the one ring has been destroyed, Frodo’s hand is short one finger; he and Sam sit on the edge of ruin and wait. Frodo says to Sam, “For the Quest is achieved, and now all is over. I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam.” Frodo believes that he and Sam are about to die as the world of Mordor comes crashing down around them. What they don’t know, of course, is that only in Mordor is it the end of all things. Only the bad things are falling away. Yet in the moment, it seems to Frodo that all is now done. This is how I feel.

For four years, really for 10 years now this has been my goal. I have worked, often tirelessly (sometimes rather lazily), toward this end, the attainment of PhD. As that end looms nearer it feels to me like it’s conclusion will be the end of me, will be the end of all things. In a sense, this is true, for it is the end of this part of my life. My formal, institutional education is nearly at an end (unless I go on to get another degree in another field, philosophy or English, for example). The life I have lived up to this point is nearly over. Yet unlike Frodo, I know that this end is also a beginning. I know that this old life is making way for a new one. Soon, hopefully, I will be David Russell Mosley, PhD., husband of Lauren, father of Theodore and Edwyn (and hopefully more), servant of Christ.

In a way, Frodo wasn’t wrong either. For him and Sam too it was an end of one life making way for another. Frodo could not return to the Shire, not fully, not now that the quest was over. He had saved it, but not for himself. He had to move on, to bliss. I hope this is not my new life, not yet. I hope instead that my end will be more like Sam’s. He too couldn’t return to his old life in the Shire. Gone were the days of Sam the Servant of Sam the Gardener, at least in the sense of being someone else’s gardener. Now came the days of Sam the husband, Sam the father, and then, Sam the Mayor. I humbly recognise that my chickens are not yet hatched and so I should not worry too much about counting the eggs. Nevertheless, I pray that my return will be like Sam’s one where I cannot return to the life I had, but that the new life will be all the better.

UPDATE

I passed my viva today with minor corrections, 3 months. This means I am officially a doctor, but I need to turn in those corrections within 3 months or else I won’t be a doctor. Still, I’m so happy, grateful, and pleased. Praise God!

Sincerely,

David

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