Fight Like a Gentleman: Wisdom from Dad

Last updated on: June 19, 2017 at 7:17 pm by John Mark N. Reynolds

Fight Like a Gentleman: Wisdom from Dad 2017-06-19T19:17:07-04:00 John Mark N. Reynolds

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I hope I have learned more than one thing from my dad, but here is one lesson for today. Over the course of his life, I have seen my dad “lose” in a power struggle rather than go fully public, fight as hard as he could, and win.

Dad is no weakling. He will tell the truth to power or to his employers regardless of the cost. I can remember times when, if you listened to him preach after such an encounter, and you knew the backstory, you could hear the prophetic rebuke to those who were walking away from right doctrine or right practice. Many a ministry or minister, ruined their ministry by using the wrong means for good ends.

Dad knew (as one of my great-grands said) that a man could be “so straight, he leaned a little.” In the name of a good cause, a ministry, or a man, too many people justify their white lies, compromises, and wrong turns.

Justification by rationalization can make the prostitution of a ministry seem on mission.

Dad is persuasive and has won his share of fights, but he does not believe in winning at any cost. He nearly always picks the good of the Kingdom over victory. Dad would rather lose than win by bad means.

This is hard to do. We are not talking about pretending that lies, graft, and heresy are acceptable. I can remember times when Dad would speak the truth about a ministry or man when asked and when the person needed to know. However, if you did not need to know Brother Snake was a snake, then Dad saw no reason to tell you. Dad tempered judgment with mercy, not with sorrow.*

I used to think that this sensible view, doing to others—even your enemies—as you would have them do to you was common. It is not. Most people hate and volunteer all they know. As Dad would often say in prayers meetings when that started: “Share less.”

Have I always done this well? No, but I have it in view: being like Dad is like imitating our Heavenly Father. First, Dad always told the truth. Tell people the content of the cad’s character, if he or she needs to know. Second, forgive when asked for forgiveness. Third, “winning” the fight for an institution can mean losing the Spirit. Better to shake the dust off your shoes and go to a new city, than to burn down a ministry and then keep fighting in the rubble.

Thanks, Dad.

On Father’s Day, I am thankful for a dad who has not made it into Wikipedia, because he has too much character. He has never lied to win, never cut financial corners to build the Kingdom of Dayton, or tried to curry favor with the winners to keep a job.

Most daunting of all, many weekends of the year, Dad meets with my brother Dan, some of my friends, and me and keeps setting the standard high. He fights like a gentleman, so he has been and remains a gentleman. He has never made the mistake of thinking you can touch tar and have clean hands. He fights hard, but not by any means.

He is not just the standard. He is the standard who keeps pointing me to the Standard.

*Jane Eyre
This post was edited by Rachel Motte.

Spiritual Reflections

Previous Post

June 17, 2017

Who Were the New Testament Authors? Who Cares? --Questions from M

Next Post

June 19, 2017 Why Seeing is not always Believing --Questions from M

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Apologetics Art Culture Education On Books On Education Philosophy Politics Pop Culture Spiritual Reflections Uncategorized

Select a Month October 2026 September 2026 August 2026 July 2026 July 2025 June 2025 September 2024 July 2024 June 2024 December 2023 June 2023 September 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Where did Moses strike a rock and water came out?

Select your answer to see how you score.

At Horeb At Marah At Jordan At Kadesh

Books by This Author John Mark Reynolds

See All Titles »