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Rankin and Bass Solve the World’s Problems

Rankin and Bass Solve the World’s Problems

Last updated on: December 22, 2016 at 5:42 pm by John Mark N. Reynolds

Rankin and Bass Solve the World’s Problems 2016-12-22T17:42:47-04:00 John Mark N. Reynolds

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Why read a book when you can find solutions to all the world’s problems in Christmas holiday specials? Why struggle through the complex plotting of the typical Hallmark movie, when you can learn it all in soothing stop-action animation? Don’t watch black and white Capra, when you can be dazzled with full color.

If you have a Christmas problem, then Rankin and Bass have the solution. They probably wrote a song to summarize that solution and once heard, these songs will never leave you. Ever.

Ever. Whatever they touch, turns to mush in their clutch. They’re too much.

Rankin and Bass answered the world’s problem in the 1960’s and 1970’s in a series of Christmas specials. This side of Sid and Marty Krofft, they are the strangest set of characters ever produced in the three channel era of television. These courageous television shows took on Big Philosophy that even cutting edge programs like Star Trek were afraid to touch.

I have provided just a start to the big issues that Heat Miser, Rudolph, the Kringle family, and the Winter Warlock took on.

Why do I have problems?

These are almost surely the result of your parents not accepting you for the wonderful you that you are. See the treatment of Rudolph by his dad, the privileged reindeer Donner, in the seminal production of the company: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Rudolph’s father and Santa are frightened by Rudolph’s shiny nose and he is forced to wear a false nose. This de-nosing of Rudolph has catastrophic social consequences.

Do I have problems?

Listen to the song: Why Am I Such a Misfit? and then the song for the Island of Misfit Toys.

If people would just look carefully, they would see your problems are virtues. Your glowing nose can be used for foggy nights. Of course, even more profoundly, children should want trains with square wheels and boats that sink. The problem is not your wheels, but the children’s narrow minded insistence that boats float and that a cowboy should have a horse and not an ostrich.

Will things ever get better?

A constant theme of Rankin and Bass is that everything will get better tomorrow if you believe in your dreams. Listen. The key will be finding romance and romance will come tomorrow.

One should look at one’s dreams and see what is real to oneself.

What about evil? How can we change?

Evil is generally the result of misunderstandings or a lack of love. For example, the Winter Warlock simply needed a present and a bit of American self-help to improve. The Abominable Snowman needed dental care.

Some bad people like Professor Hinkle, the original owner of Frosty’s hat, needed the promise of a present and some meaningful work. In any case, nobody is that bad.

Generally love is all you need, but there are three bad things: being uptight, not believing in Santa or dreams, and losing faith in yourself.

Santa may reward “good boys and girls,” but Rankin and Bass are clear: Santa will give you a toy regardless. After all, giving a toy will help. In fact, the banning of toys by the Burgermeister Meister Burger is the root of the evils in Slumber Town.

The worst evil is to be uptight. If you are uptight, especially if your hair is in a bun, you need a change of direction. This is a drug trip with no drugs and will loosen your hair and your lifestyle.

Merely believing in Santa is salvific, because it is tied to love and every other good thing. The goal of an adult life is to remain a child as much as possible. Rankin and Bass theology is based on emotion and desire. One should “wipe that question from your mind.”

Even Santa can lose faith in himself and the results are catastrophic.

How should we then live?

Other than believing in ourselves, our dreams, and our gifts, we must live in Christmas. Even July can be Christmas if we only believe in Santa Claus. Every day, in fact, can be Christmas. Every day should be Christmas. Remember that.

Bonus:

Global warming could be solved if Mother Nature could get Heat Miser and Cold Miser to work together.

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