All Mom Has to Do Is

Last updated on: October 1, 2016 at 12:32 pm by John Mark N. Reynolds

All Mom Has to Do Is 2016-10-01T12:32:31-04:00 John Mark N. Reynolds

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Mom

My mom put up with a great deal, including a son who thought he could build a house in the yard. “All you have to do,” I would say and she would smile and listen. This seems to be common as recently a student developed a variation. This young person said that he was unworried about a particular problem, because “all Mom will have to do is. . . ”

The rest doesn’t matter that much, because I understand the sentiment. My mom made a good many things (decorating, dressing, and dreaming on a pastor’s budget) look simple. Until I tried them, I assumed they were simple acts (they were not) and part of growing up is learning how hard being a grown up can be.

But Mom also made growing up look fun . . . after all, she retained all the appropriate joys of youth (laughing at a Bugs Bunny cartoon) without being childish. She simply added the joys of adulthood and now she has added the pleasures of older adulthood.

But it is the mistake that many of us make that intrigues me: “all Mom will have to do is . . .” Throw the clothes in the machine and they will come out magically clean? Go to work, create beauty, come home and make more? Save lives and then make mine better? I have heard variations of this from students all my career and have said similar things.

The best people, like a good mother, do not mind assuming they are competent, but presuming or taking that competence for granted is wearisome. Worse when Mom fails, and even my mom did not always succeed (we never learned much about Japan, Mom), we are shocked and it becomes a Family Story. We do not just do this with Mom, but with many people in our lives. Of course, Father Richard will preach a sermon that is inspiring, funny, and orthodox. That’s what Father Richard does. God help him if he does not!

Part of growing up is waking up to reality: many good people make our lives easier through their loving competence. We should be appropriately thankful always and not presume they will either always be around or take their success as a given. Even Brett Favre, football’s long enduring quarterback, got hurt and came out of the game eventually and the flu can knock the best salesperson off her stride.

As a friend, but especially as a leader, I must recollect these truths and show appropriate appreciation and tolerance for the rare error. We don’t have to overdo: the competent enjoy their competence, but we also should reward appropriately. If someone is the glue holding an organization together, that person had better receive the honor and pay due to their actual role . . . whatever the corporate flow chart looks like.

As for Mom, she can take care of herself, but the joy of knowing someone who makes life look easy is that she is also willing to put up with my feeble attempts to help. Thanks, Mom.

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