Happiness: My Goal

Last updated on: September 3, 2014 at 7:00 am by John Mark N. Reynolds

Happiness: My Goal 2014-09-02T21:55:33-04:00 John Mark N. Reynolds

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Being sad, even depressed is in the news, but whether we know it or not depression is always in the news. Hidden from view leaders, celebrities, teachers, and many of us suffer from seeming sorrows that constantly threaten to overwhelm us. I cannot help with the biological basis of depression or stress: this best left to medicos and psychologists. God always heals our diseases, but usually not in this life. Anyone who says that illness is not part of the Christian life has not read the Bible carefully. Beyond even biologically based sorrow: bad things happen. Sometimes these sorrows are my fault, a few times not my fault, but mostly a mix of causes.

David cries out to God honestly without much concern for propriety. Job struggles and argues with God while his friends caution him with platitudes, but Job is the one commended by God. Jesus struggled in the Garden asking that the bitter cup be allowed to pass. This life is a school of souls and, Indy got it right, only the penitent man will pass. Still for the Christian it is possible to be happy not just in the Paradise coming, but now.

How?

At some time in the not so distant linguistic past, the meaning of happiness changed.The “pursuit of happiness” for our Founders meant “human flourishing,” but too often for me it is simply being cheerful. Not that being cheerful is not good: biology takes a frequent swipe at my family and cheerful days are much appreciated.

But I can be happy, often am happy in the older sense, on days when I am not so cheerful or even feel sad. To get to that point I had to learn feelings were part of me, but I am not merely my feelings. I should not lie to self and hide my feelings: I feel sad. Simultaneously, I do not have to act on those feelings, but on other realities. Being sad makes me ask: “What should I or can I do about it?”

Often the answer is: “Nothing and nothing.” I find this very freeing. What should I do? I should cultivate my mind by bringing every thought to Truth. I should guard my heart by harmonizing it with Beauty. I should train my hands to obey the Good. At moments when I think the Truth, turn towards Beauty, and obey the Good, I may not feel better, but I am better. I am happy: flourishing as a human was denied to flourish.

A darker cause of misery, at least in me, is insecurity based on bad experiences in the past. If hit once, then one fears getting hit again. This learned fear might be valuable if circumstances do not change, but costly when they do change. What might have helped me at 41, might harm me at 51. Survival skills learned need not, should not, be unlearned, but they should not be implemented when not needed. Fear can be rational, but terror once acquired can inhibit sound decisions. We see enemies where there were enemies, but are none now. We confuse normal ups-and-downs with disaster, because our minds react in an old pattern.

A new day never dawns, because we are reliving the old nightmare. This is not that is the best cure for a wounded soul, he is not that man even more valuable. I had a good father, but many of my students are freed by realizing that Father God is not their father. They need not go to Him with their guard up.

There is often, with no shame, the necessity for medicine or mental health counseling. Prayer and spiritual discipline are medicine for the soul, not for the body. Because the body and the soul interact, a healthier soul is good for my body and a healthier body (thank you Fitbit!) is good for my soul. We do not fear asking God to help heal a bone and going to the physician and so can use both prayer and psychology to heal much mental pain.

The soul is battered and worn by the broken world, but happiness is still possible, because my happiness can be stored safely outside the changing, broken world. My hope is in God and God is here, but not battered by here. Lord have mercy and show me the way to happiness.

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