Christian Marriage–Beautiful or Broken?

Last updated on: January 12, 2018 at 2:25 pm by Kim Parker, LCSW

Christian Marriage–Beautiful or Broken? 2018-01-12T14:25:42+00:00 Kim Parker, LCSW

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If you read Christian news recently, then you might have heard that the latest marriage turmoil belongs to none other than the Proverbs 31 ministry lady.

I was devastated when I first read the news on social media. Immediately, I reached out to Christian girlfriends to process my grief, but though they were sad, it seemed that the news did not hit them as hard as it hit me. Then I realized that it was because I connected with the leader on a much deeper level. You see, like so many Christian women for so many years, I had been inspired by Lysa’s authentic teaching. She helped so many wives and mothers to trust God with our feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and brokenness.

But unlike many of my Christian friends, I also looked up to Lysa as the prolific writer, popular speaker, and successful author of best selling books that I want to be one day. She seemed happily married with good looking, well adjusted grown children. She was on the other side of the fence that I want to get to–not just God loving and God glorifying, but also inspirational.

And now that beautiful story has changed, broken, as she shared the sad news of her marriage woes.

Who knows? God can still do a good work in her life even if her marriage ends in divorce. After all, He has already used numerous divorced men and women (some who are successfully remarried) in life changing ministry. And who knows, maybe she and her estranged husband will be beautifully reconciled a year or ten years from now, as have happened to quite a few couples that I know from church.

But for now, I remain sad, scared. Is that also my fate for daring to share my life publicly? Is that also my dim future for speaking up and writing about our good, merciful God while living life as a sinful believer who is “equally yoked” to another sinful believer? Is this a warning sign that I must shut up and live quietly like the majority of down to Earth folks who prefer privacy? Will my kids need therapy because I’ve dared to be an influential leader to “encourage” other parents?

What about the role of Satan and spiritual warfare in our marriage and family life?

Scriptures say that God will humble the proud and lift up the humbled (Matthew 23:12). And yet, the famous women ministry leaders that I know do not seem more proud than anyone else. So why are they inflicted with suffering just like the rest of us?

I’ve entertained these uncomfortable thoughts a few years before publishing my book, and back then, my mentor snapped me out of the doubts with the question: Kim, how will your marriage and parenting fare any better if you were to keep your lessons to yourself?

And here I am with the question: Can my relationship with my husband and children still be beautiful as I live quietly, privately, not sharing what God has impressed upon me? How can I avoid the brokenness that have afflicted others while trying to be faithful to God’s calling on my life?

What about you–do you ever entertain these questions?

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