Bring It On, Summer Break!

Last updated on: January 12, 2018 at 2:25 pm by Kim Parker, LCSW

Bring It On, Summer Break! 2018-01-12T14:25:59+00:00 Kim Parker, LCSW

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It is the first week of summer break and I’m ready to send the kids back to school. In fact, I was ready after the first day when my sons were bickering incessantly, the oldest provoking the younger ones, the little ones not responding sweetly, patiently, or wisely as I had advised, but brushing aside all my admonishing, and each of the three taking turns lashing out at me instead of de-escalating. With more than two kids, their alliances with each other can switch at any given minute. What happened to the all E’s award for excellent behavior at school that each boy had just received this year? Actually, one of my sons missed the all E’s accolade by a few S’s for satisfactory conduct. Still, these grades are not what they were earning at home at the moment! Boy, did I get a parental whoopin’ that first official day of summer.

This past week, I had to remind myself to use all the skills, techniques, and interventions I had been teaching the parents in my counseling office. I thought about re-reading that book–Siblings Without Rivalry–for the umpteenth time. I heard this voice in my head telling me to use Jennifer Kolari’s CALM technique. But I just wanted to explode in anger and take up the plastic spatula to double as a spanking stick. With my parenting book in its final stages of publication now, it would be a nightmare to blow my cool, even if it’s just behind closed doors. Kids talk, you know, and it would be too embarrassing if all our friends knew about mom’s hot temper or uncool meltdowns. No, let those be a thing of the distant past. I better be savvy now.

So, my mind raced to all the alternatives. I could call Grandma to send the kids away for a week, she would love to have them. Or better yet, I’d sign them all up for that expensive church camp that I thought we couldn’t afford. What about cashing in on our retirement money or their college savings early so that we could take that much needed family vacation that we’d been patiently forestalling? The kids are so better behaved when we are out and about dining on good food. Whether it is constant sibling conflicts, demanding, uncooperative attitudes or smart mouth sassiness, moms and dads all across America suffer through some tough parenting moments during these long breaks from school. After chatting with a few other parents, I’m reassured that I’m not the only mom who’s ready for her beloved kids to go back to school already.

Then I remembered that my sons have always conducted themselves so much better around peers than around family. I hope they have not learned that from their dad or me? My mind began to clear from the morning fog as I contemplated scheduling lots of play dates with other mothers in my predicament. Play dates allow long suffering moms a chance to socialize and encourage one another with our battle wounds from parenthood while the kids enjoy other people’s refined company. Alas, the key to surviving these momentary emotional upheaval is at hand!

What are your suggestions on thriving this summer with a few excellently behaved kids?

P.S. By the time I was done daydreaming of my escape from these boys, all three were joyfully playing cards together. Why not capture the pleasant moments on camera so that I can relive these happier times when I need them? 3boysplaying

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