How to be Supermom 201

Last updated on: January 12, 2018 at 2:26 pm by Kim Parker, LCSW

How to be Supermom 201 2018-01-12T14:26:01+00:00 Kim Parker, LCSW

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So you’ve read How to be Supermom 101 and now your kids are fed, safe, and healthy. Their dad is not actively sabotaging your parenting work, and you’ve been kind to yourself mentally. But you have this nagging feeling that your cape is not flowing as beautifully as it should. Your “S” is not shining as bright as you’d think. In fact, much of the time, you’re wondering if you’ve really made Supermom status or if you’re being delusional? This more advance course will tackle the topic of dealing with fears, doubts, anxiety, and paranoia.

Rest assured that if you’re daring to read this article, then you’ve got courage, which is a Supermom quality. After-all, there are so many parents out there still stuck in ignorance, fear, or pride. But you are taking the risk to learn something new. You’re not afraid of constructive criticism. You will not take it personally. Just like me, you realize that you are not above reproach. In fact, you will make any changes, do whatever it takes to be super for your family. Flexibility and teachability are aerodynamic qualities that will serve you well.

Moms all across the country struggle with various fears and doubts when it comes to our kids. When they are young, common questions that plague us include: Will they get sick? Will they not grow? Are they developing properly? Will they sink? How will they cope with those dreaded feelings of sadness, frustration, helplessness, and hopelessness? When toddlers turn to teens, we ask: Will they call? Will they be alright? Will they succeed? Will they cope with the pressures in this cut throat world appropriately? But all Supermoms know that doubting ourselves is not helpful. We expect that fears will arise, and we have a game plan. We overcome by staying positive, faithful, and active. We shut out any doubts by repeating tried and true mantras: I can do this, it is okay, there’s probably a good reason for this, and I am stronger than I feel. The most effective mind trick to stay afloat might well be: My kids will not only survive, but they will thrive because we are headed in the right direction.

Speaking of right direction, when paranoia creeps into our wayward minds, we crush them by staying active. We move constantly in the direction of “forward.” Even if that’s one coordinate forward, two coordinates back, we know that there will be plenty more times of two coordinates forward, one back. Sometimes, we get lost or feel lost. It helps to know that others are not far behind us, also on the wrong trails, I mean scenic route, hoping for someone to be the guide out. So, we plod onward, pushing through any kryptonite appearing weaknesses, encouraged that our struggles are a beacon of light for others on the same journey. We know deep down inside that appearances are just that—facades. They are superficial and fleeting, while our inner voice is strong and true.

When it comes to inner strength, we know that the “S” begins with us. We practice being kind to ourselves instead of being mired in shame or self loathing. We network with other super parents to fill ourselves with positivity that floats. Senseless anxiety or obsessions cannot bring down a mom who is flying in a pack with other great mothers. They hold her up when she feels weak, and they remind her of her true identity. Many supermoms have been there for me in this parenting journey. When everyone is flying together in one direction, there is no competition among the parents. So go ahead–connect with others, learn from one another, and shed the heavy burdens of fears, doubts, anxiety, or paranoia. I dare ya!

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