Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Christian Podcast Central

Home
Evangelical - Sponsored
The Daren Streblow Comedy Show Mini-Cast 123: Kindergarten, Andy Beningo & Jeff Allen

The Daren Streblow Comedy Show Mini-Cast 123: Kindergarten, Andy Beningo & Jeff Allen

Last updated on: February 24, 2016 at 2:59 am by Christian Podcast Central

The Daren Streblow Comedy Show Mini-Cast 123: Kindergarten, Andy Beningo & Jeff Allen 2016-02-24T02:59:58-08:00 Christian Podcast Central

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The Daren Streblow Comedy Show Mini-Cast 123: Kindergarten, Andy Beningo & Jeff Allen Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

It was such a landmark moment when we put our youngest child on the bus, sending him to kindergarten, for the first time. Mom was crying. Dad was doing a celebratory dance. ON the other end, the kindergarten teacher was weeping, soul searching, doubting every career move leading to this day.

My kids were confused about what kindergarten even is. I think this is because of its very name. Kindergarten is German, literally meaning “children’s garden”, which doesn’t even seem to metaphorically be correct. We don’t grow children there. It’s not a mythological cabbage patch. We should call it “Grade 0”, which is sort of accurate. It lowers expectations and it sort of tells you how much you will learn in a year.

When I was in kindergarten, I would get bored, so I would just leave. I’d simply walk out. I mean, if the teacher wasn’t going to show me even the basics of potting soil and fertilizer, why should I stay and listen to this fraud?

So, teacher would chase me down and bring me back into the herd.

Then I’d try to spice up the party a little: tell some jokes, start a Twister game, order pizza… she got upset when I called the fire department.

Sometimes, she would send notes home, which would only confuse my mom:

“Little Daren needs to stop using the school phone. And he needs to stop rhyming with everything I say.”

Apparently, whenever she would say something like, “Okay, children, get out your markers”, I would exclaim, “Cats are meowers and dogs are barkers!” (Which I suppose was cute for about six weeks, and then the facial ticks started to manifest themselves on the poor woman).

So, when I sent my youngest off to kindergarten, I couldn’t help but wonder if he would be a better student than I was. At the end of his first day, I asked him how it went…

“How was your first day of kindergarten, son?”

“Okay.”

“Did you make any new friends?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh… well, what are your friends’ names?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s your teacher’s name?”

“I don’t know.”

Then I thought, “He doesn’t remember anything. What went on today?”

That’s when I finally asked, “What’s your principal’s name?
“Oh… his name is Mr. Charles Strickman. He’s got a bad temper. Nice office, though. He’s got pictures of seagulls on the walls. I counted 113 seagulls, all total!”

Chip off the ol’ block! Andy Beningo

Next, my buddy Andy Beningo calls into the show. He and his wife welcomed a new baby into the world recently, and Andy learned right away what the world’s greatest invention of all time is: The Pacifier.

After just a few uses, Andy began to wish someone would come out with an adult-sized pacifier. Picture it – you’re at work and someone is telling you an incredibly boring story… all you have to do is pop one of those bad boys in their mouth and you have instant serenity.

Some of the first people Andy would use something like that on are his grandparents. They’ve been married 65 years now, and they have reached the point in their marriage where they never fight nor argue anymore. They just look at each other and go, “Dhaaaah!!”

His grandmother is very religious and she sees signs from God everywhere. For instance, the family went to the beach recently and she told him, “Andy, I know that God exists, because everywhere I go, I’m being followed by doves.”

“First of all, Grandma, those are seagulls. They’re flying rats. They’re not following you, they’re following your picnic basket. Now, put this pacifier in your mouth.”

Andy’s grandpa is one of those guys who are always talking your ear off, but he is also becoming very forgetful lately. He came downstairs recently and suddenly stopped. “I came down here to do something, but I can’t remember what it is I needed to do.”

“Well, Grandpa, for starters, I think you forgot to put on some pants!”

“Dhaaaaaaaaaaah!” Jeff_Allen 1

Finally, funnyman and all-round great guy, Jeff Allen joins the show. He and I recently performed together at Hilarities in Cleveland. This is a special club for Jeff, because that’s where he met his wife thirty years ago… and they were kind enough to drop the charges and allow the two of them to come back.

Jeff was instantly drawn to Tami’s laugh… and over the past thirty years walking alongside Jeff through life, that laugh of hers has only dissipated. But, it was a beautiful laugh thirty years ago.

Now, Jeff and I both perform “clean comedy”, and many people wonder if working clean and comedy clubs can coexist. However, seeing that Jeff has been asked to come back to Hilarities – one of the top ten comedy clubs in the nation – three times in the last year, it’s safe to say that there is a real desire by audiences to hear great jokes without all the swearing and “blue” content.

And, according to Jeff, the secular (non-religious) world is pretty easy to figure out. It’s driven by money and very little else. If something makes money (like booking two clean comics for a night), then they’re all for it! They don’t have any ideological problems with a couple of Christians coming in and telling jokes, so long as the audiences show up and leave entertained.

And a real plus that Jeff and I have learned, is that by working clean and not swearing, we have noticed an inter-generational fan base rising up! Young adults are recommending us to their parents who are becoming fans!

Now, as for Jeff, he is getting sick and tired of what is now labeled as “progress”. He is constantly fascinated when he hears someone say something like, “Humanity always progresses.”

But, what are we “progressing” toward?

It’s nice to have your car going in a forward direction when you embark on a trip, but you want to have a particular direction in mind. Instead, many in our “American Progressive Culture” seem to be wandering around aimlessly. Jeff recognizes that this can appear fun, but it can also become tiring and even dangerous at times.

Jeff just misses the America he grew up in.

Take, for instance, Common Core Math.

Ten years from now, Little Joey will get a job at McDonald’s. That’ll be the day when Jeff buys a Big Mac and gives Joey four extra pennies in order to round the total up to the nearest dollar. But, Jeff doesn’t want to have to stand there and watch apoplectic convulsions go on from behind the register while Joey learns to cipher the math of this exchange. At some point, Joey will need to call out and ask if there’s a homeschool kid in the restaurant who can help him out with the equation.

family friendly comedy

Previous Post

December 23, 2015

Jesus in HD 137: Forgive and (Don't) Forget

Next Post

December 29, 2015 The Summit Lecture Series: A Muslim Makes Sense of the Trinity, with Nabeel Qureshi

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Brad Stine Has Issues Christian Podcast Central Classic Podcast Experience God Life Grounded Ouxano Parent Like You Mean It The Protest Show with Thor Ramsey The Summit Lecture Series Uncategorized What You’ve Been Searching For

Select a Month July 2022 June 2022 May 2022 April 2022 March 2022 February 2022 January 2022 December 2021 November 2021 September 2021 August 2021 July 2021 June 2021 May 2021 April 2021 March 2021 February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 June 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz